[High Praise! to Liberal Logic 101]
Archive of entries posted on 13th August 2014
Plan B Can’t Fail!
US Census Bureau foreign trade data shows that in the months since the United States imposed sanctions on Russia, US exports to Russia have risen 17%.
Sanctions aren’t working. Quick! Back them up with a UN Resolution!
I Think They Just Nailed Bacon Heisenberg
From RAML [High Praise! to ]: Man Accused Of Stealing 32 Tons of Bacon
Let’s see if that means the supply of this starts drying up (pic from Anonymiss [High Praise!]):
Link of the Day: Satire – Army Disbands Logistics Corps After Signing Contract With Amazon.com
(Submitted by RAML via The Duffel Blog [High Praise!])
Army Disbands Logistics Corps After Signing Contract With Amazon.com
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: High Azalea Bug Predecessors Change Racist Wallet Invisible Serum
cop: are you high?
me: if i was high could i do this? *vaults over car hood and does 360 no scope*
cop: did you just say "asterisk vaults ov
— yung karen (@haleysfalling) August 12, 2014
iggy azalea makes music for girls who are doing community service for stealing earrings from claires
— dubstep4dads (@dubstep4dads) August 12, 2014
If a coworker tells you they've been sick and you don't reply with "A bug's been going around" you're instantly fired.
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) August 12, 2014
Successful presidents blame their predecessors in Year One. If you're still doing it in Year Six, you've given up.
— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) August 12, 2014
Coffee to change what I can, and wine to accept what I can't.
— RUTH BUZZI (@Ruth_A_Buzzi) August 12, 2014
It's not racist to ask me if I would like some watermelon but it is racist when you ask and don't have any watermelon
— Sam Ike (@TheSamIke) August 12, 2014
First Date Tip:
1) Wait for check to arrive
2) Insist on paying like a gentleman
3) Lock eyes
4) Slowly open Velcro wallet for 58 minutes
— Glenn Rockowitz (@justaride) August 12, 2014
If I was invisible, I'd find bad mimes and silently beat them to death. Just to give them one final, fantastic performance.
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) August 12, 2014
Hey man you hear about that new truth serum? Its got everybody talking
— Fashion josh (@verycozy) August 12, 2014
Can’t Beat the Old Ways
Obama Warned Us – Helping Families
“Any time Congress wants to do work with me to help working families, I’m right there.” —President Obama #WorkplaceFairness
“…vacationing at the Vineyard.”
Straight Line of the Day: The Most Exciting Activity on President Obama’s Vacation Schedule…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The most exciting activity on President Obama’s vacation schedule…
Random Thoughts: The Police, Smarts, and Tiny People
If we don’t militarize the police, it won’t be able to stop people from using the wrong light bulbs or selling really large sodas.
For the last five years the country has been run by a guy who thought Joe Biden was smart.
How about instead of using tax dollars to make bicycle paths, we use the money toward getting all those poor people cars.
If Obama were in the Senate at the time, he would have voted for the Iraq War. The guy is no profile in courage.
Are there any stats on how foreign policy crises affect the president’s golf score?
It’s violently ripping apart a tiny human; the reasons for opposition to abortion aren’t exactly a mystery.
You can argue the violent ripping apart of the tiny human is justified, but don’t pretend it’s hard to understand why people don’t like that.
Perspective
New regulations from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission now define being pregnant as a “disability”.
Not surprising under a President who thinks that babies are a “punishment“.