[High Praise! to Sheldon Comics]
After a hard week of reading disappointing political headlines, this is about the only thing that can fix me:
Hope everyone has a ba-thoonking good weekend.
Archive of entries posted on 8th August 2014
Planet Earth – Science Cutely Animated
Safety-science: no pointy corners that could put your eye out:
[Everything You Need to Know About Planet Earth] (Viewer #136,138)
You’re Doing It Wrong
In an effort to grab market share, Lay’s Potato Chips is rolling out odd new flavors like “Cappuccino”.
Guys… that’s NOT what “Irish Coffee” means.
Promoted Comment: Obama’s Rapid Response
Raving Lunatic [High Praise!] responded thusly to yesterday’s Straight Line: “President Obama’s plan to protect America from the deadly ebola virus…”
Staffer: “Pssst, MR. President, what’s the answer?”
O: “Hey, are you blind? I’m putting here. What other President has ever had to put up with this?
Staffer: “But Frank J asked a question. You wouldn’t want to appear unprepared in front of the press.”
O: “Who? Oh wait, that’s the guy who wrote my best biography, right? What was the question?”
Staffer: “What’s your plan to fight Ebola?”
O: “Which group of freedom fighters is that? The one in Africa or um… Atlantis, was it?”
Staffer: “The disease in Africa, sir.”
O: “Oh right, right. Ebola. That’s like chickenpox, right? Just infect everyone now and get it over with. Then everyone will be immune no one will ever catch it again.”
Link of the Day: All Your First-World Problems – SOLVED!
[High Praise! to 22 Words]
23 Ultra-nifty inventions (to solve problems that don’t really exist)
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Drumming Waiter Money Spider
Sir? the table of hot ladies over there wanted to know what song you were drumming on the bar. they said it seemed very fast and impressive.
— Mike F (@animaldrumss) August 6, 2014
Hey girl, are you a waiter who doesn't write down the order, because you're making me nervous.
— (maura) (@behindyourback) August 6, 2014
Between your money and my ideas for spending your money, there's nothing we can't accomplish together.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) August 7, 2014
My 2 year old daughter thinks spider clowns live in the walls. May be the scariest thing I have ever heard.
— jerry stahl (@somejerrystahl) August 7, 2014
Fake, But Accurate
Out of fear of the NSA spying, sales of old, manual typewriters are surging in Germany.
I bet Dan Rather’s making a killing on eBay.
Obama Warned Us – Long Way
“The bottom line is this: We’ve come a long way these past five and a half years.” – President Obama http://ofa.bo/e0RR #OpportunityForAll
“Not much further to rock-bottom now.”
Straight Line of the Day: A Russian Gang Stole 1.2 Billion Passwords. Turns Out Obama’s Was…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
A Russian gang stole 1.2 billion passwords. Turns out Obama’s was…
Random Thoughts: Power, Hamas, and Obamacare
“Half of politicians are idiots. Give them all less money and power.” -the right
“Half of politicians are evil idiots. Give them all more money and power.” -the left
Al Qaeda has distanced itself from Amash’s belligerent victory speech.
Since Vox is targeted at partisan left-wingers who aren’t too bright and need news explained to them, is main competition The Daily Show?
Carter wants the US to recognize Hamas? Don’t we already recognize them as a terrorist group?
You really start to notice the narrative flaws in Frozen on the 18th viewing.
Obamacare has increased mental health coverage, which is mainly used by people in HR who have to deal with Obamacare.
“I guess that’s poetic justice,” Robert Frost said, a smoking .44 magnum in his hand as Scorpio lay dead where two roads diverged in a wood.
Here to Help
A new report shows that Lois Lerner’s computer hard drive was only “scratched” and the data on it was still recoverable, but it was destroyed anyway.
Better just hope Lerner doesn’t end up running your Obamacare panel.