Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
Oh come one! I’m not saying it is going to be an Alien but… its going to be a Alien.
Mr. Hilter
I still don’t like the sound of these yere boncentration bamps.
Another old white guy…doubtful. However Mrs. Hitler I could see running.
Why are you bringing Mrs. Hitler into a discussion about Mr. Hilter?
Because he’s an old white guy with a dubious record at best and I just don’t see the Bolshevik branch of the party excepting him as “their” candidate.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
Trump.
…a shrubbery.
We are the Democrats who say “ni” and we demand your taxes!!
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
a random name from the NYC phonebook.
De Blasio is a pretty random name.
His mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Ditto
Ditto!?! Ditto, you provincial putz!
Gorsh Mr. zzyzx, you use your mouth purtier than a $2 Ho.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
Even crazier than the first 18.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
starting from the supplemental start gate.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
Robin Yount.
Brewers Baseball Bacon to you, sir!
…another loser.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
a Steely Dan song.
No we can’t dance together, no we can’t talk at all
Please take me along
When you slide on down
Some Kennedy…are any still alive?
Plenty, they breed like rabbits donchyaknow.
Isn’t Beto O’Rourke a Kennedy??
Only in how drinks and drives. Oh, and the Socialism that won’t affect his wealth.
Yep, sounds like a Kennedy to me.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
someone from the kid’s table at Thanksgiving Dinner.
Oh, you mean Beto O’Rourke…he’s already in.
So High Chairs to the side now count as the Children’s Table? Man, I am getting old.
…responding to peer pressure. (if all your friends were running, would you run too?)
…just trying to fit in.
I think they’re all Bozos on that bus.
As long as it’s not Bezos
…7 of 9…
Not after her sealed divorce proceedings get mysteriously released.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
that bald guy from Murder One!
…odd…
Odd Job? I thought he was Korean and ineligible.
Better watch out when he throws his hat in the ring!
You’ll be Bowlered over.
… comin’ into town, a-whuppin’ and a-whompin’ every living thing within an inch of its life.
Except the women folk.
What happens to them? (He asks already knowing the answer but playing the straight man both literally and figuratively for comedic purposes.)
They get put into the steno pool at DNC headquarters.
Same difference.
…another old, white guy.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
someone who checks all the boxes on his Victim Bingo card.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
a Damn Cat [Not our Damncat though. More the pity.]
Never trust a DemoCat.
… the straw that breaks Kamala’s back.
… lamely hobbling rather than running.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
immediately smeared by the Clinton Attack Machine out of force of habit.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
neither animal nor vegetable.
That only leaves mineral. Thus the 19th Democrat to declare has to be a Rockman from the planet Mongo!
In Rod We Trust.
I would have gone with a box of rocks, but then again that describes the previous 18 as well, don’t it?
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
the strongest candidate in these here parts.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
taking what they’re giving ’cause he’s running for a livin’.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
Any of the following, rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, s**t-kickers and Mensheviks!!
I have amended the above list as follows…Bolsheviks, Bolshevists, Leninists, Maoists, Marxists, Stalinists, Trotskyites, Apparatchiks, Fellow travelers, Pinkos, Reds, Party members, Viet Cong members, C.P. members, Fellow travelers, Castroites, Socialists, Comrades, Bolshevists, Com-symps, Card-carrying communists, Commies, Socialist workers, Radicals, Radical left, Progressives, and Mensheviks.
There…fixed it!
I said Bolshevists twice…I like Bolshevists.
No Methodists?
No Methodists. The Party distrusts any group mentioned in a Mel Brooks movie.
How about when the Sheriff is a N—-r?
The sheriff may be near but the party doesn’t trust him either!
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
a Prime Number Candidate.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
anyone left. Literally and figuratively.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
…right before the 20th Dem decides to run.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
excellent at Cinema Sins.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
the future subject of the Last Sign on the Moon.
Not if I post it.
But of course.
…known by the name of ‘None of the Above’.
Although some may call him….. Tim?
Nope, Brewster.
Not a son of a sea cook?
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
way beyond compare.
So how can you vote for another?
Ooooooooooooh
When you see them running there.
(Wait. That’s 17? Damn time moves quickly on you.)
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
a right jolly old Elf.
…Ted McGinley
…followed closely by #20: the shark the Fonz jumped over.
And #21 Marcy Darcy
#22 Captain Stubing
…a Beto version…
…the horse they rode in on.
AOC is not eligible just yet.
…a handi-capable transsexual veteran woman-of-color…
So someone who survived the Woman of Color wars by switching sides after suffering grievous bodily injury?
…incapable of speaking the truth, just like the rest of them…
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
someone who believes that for every Mueller report that fails collusion still grows.
A babys arm holding an apple.
That means they will look like a …. Oooh.
…no different than those ahead of them.
…Jeb!
…The Vogon Prime Minister.
… the lucky fan sitting in Row N, seat 29! Everybody give them a round of applause as they make their way to the stage!
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
Governor William J. Lepetomane, his plan to convert the nations hospitals for the insane into the William J. Le Petomane memorial gambling casinos for the insane will sweep the nation! …And it will only cost the nation three hundred billion dollars and a box of paddleballs.
Harrumph!
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
the last one now who will later be first
because the Polls they are a’changing.
Marv of the Wet Bandits. He’s clumsy, not too bright, isn’t smarter than a 5th grader, and has a felony record, so he should easily bond with the other 18.
… someone who’s the kind of person
You meet at certain dismal dull affairs
Center of a crowd, talking much too loud
Runnin’ up and down the stairs
Here it comes . . .
Here comes your 19th Enormous Letdown!
What a drag it is being a Dem.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
handsome?
rich?
Que sera, sera.
Were I more cynical, I’d say ‘Que Soros, Soros.’
Whatever will be, will be I supposes.
— Dourest Day
…Hillary in blackface hoping no one will notice it’s her.
She carries hot sauce all the time! She’s noways tarred! Who is that cyst-er?{chortle}
And she still does a nice AOC impersonation.
Help us cerebrate Smartin’ Loser Queen (Failure) Day
…nowhere near the end…
…a potential contestant on “Dancing with the Stars” 2021…
…groped by Joe Biden.
LEEROY JENKINS!
Someone sneaking in across the Mexican border… in a giant wooden badger, of course.
Why a badger? I mean the only thing that got into the castle was a large wooden Rabbit.
They forgot to put anyone actually in the rabbit. A second would’ve been redundant.
But my point is that a Badger was never constructed in the first place so we cannot judge its efficacy in breaching walled defenses.
Mr. Ed
Of course!
A few bricks shy of a full load.
A super hero named ‘Superfluous’
As opposed to all those with Averagefluous?
Roland the headless Thompson gunner.
Twitter fodder.
#20’s doormat.
Someone who’ll soothe voters with their harmony:
♩♪
You need someone
Older and wiser
Telling you what to do
We are 18 going on 19
We’ll take care of you
{Lies-all:} I’ll be 19 going on 20
We know that you’re naive
Fellows, we’ll cheat our way out of defeat
And willingly you’ll believe
We are 18 going on 19, innocent as a ruse
Friends of Sandy’s
Drinkers of brandies
What do you hear on the news?
Totally unprepared are you
To face a world of men
Triggered and shy Barbies, scared, it’s true
Of things beyond your ken
You need someone
Older and wiser
Telling you what to do
We are 18 going on 19
Vote for us — we’ll vote for you!
♩♪
…someone in a red plaid onesie with a hot cup of cocoa.
♪
Fellow-travellers travelling
With the one after 9-plus-9
I said move over, homies,
I’m grovelling on Dateline
I said
MoveOn.org once
MoveOn.org twice
Red Babies, let’s dismantle ICE
It’s all unravelling with the one after 9-plus-9
I begged Hillary, and
I begged her on my bended knee
You’re always fallin’ down
And you’re only falling down on me
I said:
MoveOn.org once
MoveOn.org twice
Come on, 80? You’re as old as vice
Said she’s considerin’ being the one after 9-plus-9
Picked up the bag, ran to the station wagon
Frail, man, sad.
You’ve got the wrong vocation
Pick up the bag, think she’s done …
Then I find — she thinks she’s number one!
Well, she said she’s tryin’ for the one after 2-0-1-9
I said
Remember, honey,
Unravelling like all your crimes?
I said:
MoveOn.org once
MoveOn.org twice
Come on, baby, don’t hang on like lice
Said she’s considerin’ being the one after 9-plus
Said she’s considerin’ being the one after 9-plus
Said she’s considerin’ being the one after 9-plus-9
♪
I give up. What song is this a parody of?
“The One After 909” (Beatles)
You stumped him but really, can you give an Obscury for a Beatles song? I mean…standards man, standards.
Nope. Un-possible.
This Guy.
I don’t know that guy seems kind of underwhelming compared to the other candidates. I mean he’s just like “someone is coming to kill me” while all the others are all like “WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!1!”.
That girl.
Your mama.
OOH BURNNNNNNNN
Collusion! It wasn’t the Russians: it was the Check-ins!
..
Maybe they were Ukranians from Smollett-ensk.
…some rich guy buying up all the pre-1984 yearbooks.
…Chrissie Hynde claiming to be middle of the road.
…somebody, anybody, openly colluding with a real live Russian.
…Green Party dandy, Walking Dude from The Stand.
Chrissie Hynde:
“Fat cats driving around in jeeps through the city
Wearing big diamond rings and silk suits”
— sounds about right.
I always thought it was “Fat guys handing out keys to the city.”
When you own a big chunk of the bloody third world the babies just come with the scenery.
So we don’t know what his name will be, we just know his initials will be RF
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
… (understandably) afraid to take on the 6-6-6.
18 Democrats are now running for president. Number 19 will be…
Ben Richards