We’re again answering questions you submitted to us. We’re taking questions via the blog in the comments, or by our special email address Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com. Some of the questions were answered in the comments by other readers. And, if the reader gave a good answer, we’re fine with that. After all, the IMAO audience is the smartestest audience of any blog on the Internet with a conservative bent and a red and black color scheme in a three-column format and featuring the moon in the logo. No other place can say that.
These questions, though, still need an answer. And since we have the largest brain trust on the planet, we’re sharing our vast, infinite, really big knowledge with you. So, here are the second batch of answers to your questions:
DamnCat: When will this be a regular feature?
Whenever we damn well please.
Bob B: If you know everything, then… ?
Exactly!
walruskkkch: Wow answering everyone’s question seems to be super easy, barely an inconvenience.
Answering questions is tight!
walruskkkch: Got an old Carlin question for you: If God is all powerful can He make a rock so big that He Himself can’t lift it?
You know what happened to George Carlin, right? He died. That should answer your question.
zzyzx: If that’s not my car then where is my car?
Last time I saw it, Neil Patrick Harris was driving away in it.
Harvey: Who is the best Captain in the Star Trek Universe?
The answers others gave in the comments were all correct, and I have nothing to add.
Oppo: How did you get a copy of my booking photo?
We know everything and have eyes and ears everywere. The NSA is scared of us!
Oppo: Is there a homicidal monkey named “Mr. Bananas” out to get me, or what?
That’s not his name.
Oppo: Snakes. Why is it always snakes?
That’s not a snake; I’m just happy to see you.
If you have a question for us, anything at all, send it to Ask.IMAO.Anything@gmail.com, or leave your question in the comments. If you leave your question here, one of our regular geniuses may be able to give you the insight you need. But if not, rest assured that the super geniuses at IMAO will ensure you get all the knowledge you can stand.
Can you predict the outcome of a “Magic 8 Ball” question?
All signs point to maybe.
How much money does one have to contribute to IMAO to become a named character in Frank J’s next novel?
Dogs, Am I right?
Magic 8 Ball sez, “Try again later”.
What question can’t you answer?
This one.
Oh wait…
According to the movies, Godzilla had a son. Was Godzilla the mother or the father?
Also, who was the other parent?
Godzilla was the mother. Only a female monster could through a hissy fit like that and start destroying cities for no reason plus I heard she was menapausing .(nuff said). The father was a recluse who didn’t like being seen in public and just stayed home all the time playing video games of humans killing each other.
I think my “girlsenberries” question is a valid one.
Sexist.
Sorry, I totally missed it. It was a reply to DamnCat, and I took it as directed there, not as a question for us. It’ll be answered. My apologies.
How do I get an IMAO profile pic or is those only for the IMAO elites?
What’s wrong with your Space Invaders profile pic?
I would rather have one of my Superego. Cliff Claven. But thanks for asking.
https://gravatar.com
Thanks DB. At least I never said I was smart enough to figure it out for myself and look like a fool.
I’m sure you got it. But, for those that don’t, they’d have to register for an account with the email address. If they already have a WordPress account, they can use that, since WordPress owns it.
You can even have multiple email addresses tied to the same Gravatar account, each with a different avatar. Not that I’d do that. But I know people that do.
Thanks again…looks like I got lucky and did it. I feel smarter than Biden now.
Hey, yes indeed you did! And you changed your name.
Only because Cliffy was already taken but CliffyCliffy wasn’t. CHEERS!
Not Cliffy 2.0?
I like Cliffy 2.0! But like they say. the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence…well, if you have a fence.
The grass is always greener on the other side of the cow.
https://en.gravatar.com/profiles/edit
Display Name field
“Harvey: Who is the best Captain in the Star Trek Universe?”
Captain Frazier from that one Next Generation episode about them getting caught in a time loop. Mostly because he had that awesome Wrath of Kahn era uniform.
Capt. Edward Jellico from Chain of Command (the “There are four lights!” episode).
Jellico showed that Riker was a whiny little b*tch.
Jellico came up with the plan to rescue Picard, who had managed to get himself captured and hung from the ceiling with his little Jean-Luc hanging out.
He stared down the Cardassians and won.
And Jellico is the one that made Troi dress proper (tell me she didn’t look better in the uniform than in that slut-suit she originally wore).
Jellico rocked!
Shouldn’t that have been the “Kardassians”? I would have been more impressed with that.
Rihar – Pretty stylin’ beard, too.
And I know stylin’ beards…
Did Thanos have a 50-50 chance of also disappearing when he snapped his fingers?
Do slot machines know Asimov’s three laws?
Yes, but letting you win isn’t one of them now, is it?
Apparently Game of Thrones left a Starbuck’s cup in full view in one scene. Have they just given up even caring?
A caterer’s cup, not Starbucks so that makes it okay.
Doesn’t “Fear the Walking Dead” pretty much go without saying?
I’d be more afraid of the “Running Dead”.
That’s what they called the Boston Marathon runners once…the Running Dead.
… yet some will Ruiz again.
You could say the same of The Reaper yet we’re often told no to fear him.
Is the ad agency that came up with Pajama Boy still getting clients?
The correct answer was “17” – thanks for playing…
You wanted an exact answer, right? So, take the position in the alphabet of each of the letters in my answer (“Exactly!”) and add them.
E is the 5th letter, so assign it the value of 5.
X is the 24th letter, so assign it the value of 24.
and so on.
By the time you get through the first five letters — which is the word “exact” (you were wanting an exact answer, right? — the total is 53. Since you have your “exact” answer, but I’m still providing more (the “L” and the “Y”) you subtract the values for those letters. That makes the total 16. But, there’s the punctuation at the end, right? What to do with it? Easy. Assign the exclamation mark a single point, and the total is … 17.
Thank YOU for playing.
Gosh…you really DO know everything!
What do you get if you multiply six by nine?
Do naysayers have any other pompous affectations we can make fun of?
Who on earth gave Michael Richards advice on how to handle hecklers?
Oh, you said you wanted me to bring a bunch of crampons up the mountain?
Did Spacemonkey ever make it to space?
If you name your kid Ralph Malph and let him hang around with greaser/biker Fonzie and someone named “Potsie,” is it safe to assume you have no parenting skills whatsoever?
{Looks at avatar} This is me on my first day at Parris Island, after being called a maggot and a grabastic piece of whale excrement. What do you think of my chances?
I think your chances are less than Private Pyle’s are of getting to the top of Hartman’s f**king obstacle! After all if God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there by now….now wouldn’t he!?
Why did “Firefly” get cancelled?
I blame Bush…Trump? Hell, whoever was President back then. Obama?