Hey, wild and crazy Moon Nukers!

Did any of you exercise your First Amendment rights on January 6th, 2021?

Ha ha ha! Just kidding. We already know you didn’t. Or you wouldn’t be here.

We were wondering if you could help us out of another pickle.

Our SWAT Team will stand down, while you read this.

Would any of you be willing to take the fall for us, and claim it was your idea to allow Hunter Biden’s laptop to go unexamined for seven years after it was in FBI custody? And to allow Hillary to destroy her hard drives with a hammer?

Congress is getting a little close, and we don’t have Oswalds in the pipeline just now. (This has been cut and pasted. So was Oswald.)

Thanks! No need to drop us a line. Just speak sotto voce anywhere in your house or in your darkened bedroom with that nice dark coverlet you have . Or in your car. We’ll hear you. DamnCat, you’ve got a little stuff on your face.

— The FBI / KGB