Scientists Discover That All Animals Fall Into Distinct Categories

To wit:

(A) Those That Can Safely Be Cuddled

  1. Puppies
  2. Kittens
  3. Baby Ducks

(B) Those That Can Be Admired on Film Only

  1. Bears
  2. Raccoons
  3. Wolves
  4. Flamingoes

(C) None of the Above

  1. Slugs
  2. More Slugs

14 Comments

  1. I don’t know. I’d say raccoons can be admired from a few feet away as you stand in the doorway telling them in your best mom voice that they they need to leave the garbage bag alone until you’ve had time to take it to the bin. They have a very cute sheepish waddle for 20+ pounds of fluff.

    • So, “Cuddles” is the name of IMAO’s EMU mascot? This is all new to me.

      Is it male, or female? What and how often do you feed it? Do you take it for walks on a leash? Does it sleep on the floor or have its own bed? Does it know its own name and come when called? Does it crap outside or in a giant litter box?

      Inquiring minds want to know.

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