Rich from North Grafton, Massachusetts asks:
If I were to get an Irishman to wear a Nuke the Moon t-shirt, would it
stop him from being a lying bastard?
Hey, no ethnic slurs! I’m half-Irish, and I take great offense at that. You’ll be in big trouble if I remember this insult after I sober up.
Harley W. Daugherty from LaGrange, Missouri asks:
Why is it illegal here in Missouri to burn hippies? What would happen if I set one on fire and what charges would I face?
It’s illegal for the same reasons it’s illegal to burn leaves without a permit; setting fire to a hippy if not done properly could be a hazard. You’d be charged with endangering non-hippies and their property, and face a hefty fine that could go into the hundreds of dollars.
Jimbo from Simi Valley, CA. writes:
I think animated and cursed pirate skeletons could kick ninja ass ANY day. I have just seen the “Pirates of The Caribbean” movie and it looks like the evil cursed skeleton pirates could kick ninja butt all day long and not even break a sweat. I know they don’t have any skin to sweat from, but that is not my point! Do you know where I can find some evil cursed pirate skeletons that know sword play? I bet a crew of them watching my house would sure keep the neighbor kids off my lawn! Do you think that we could set up a death match between ninjas and the feared but cursed pirates?
Slow down there a second. As we all know from the official source on ninjas, pirates are the archnemesis of the ninja and are really lame in comparison. Now, I didn’t see this movie you speak of because I boycott Disney on account of their selling biological weapons to terrorist nations, but an undead pirate is still just a lame dead corpse, and ninjas could easily cut them up into a million pieces. If you had cursed pirates guarding your house, the ninjas would extra kill the pirates and then you and I would laugh at your foolishness. The only thing that can stop a ninja is the power of the samurai. Go buy the Book of Five Rings, and, if a ninja attacks you, try throwing it at him.
Please keep the questions coming, <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMace you’re from, I’ll randomly select one.
What about undead, cursed samurai? Are they better or worse than regular samurai. What if it is undead Kenmen Musashi? I bet he would kick ass.
“You’d be charged with endangering non-hippies and their property, and face a hefty fine that could go into the hundreds of dollars.”
That’s the fine in Florida, Frank. However, in Missouri the fine only goes into the TENS of dollars, in Texas they take whatever loose change you have in your pockets, and if memory serves, in Alaska your only requirement is to ensure the recycling of the hippie corpse by feeding it to a bear.
The only reason I can see to prohibit burning hippies is because they are dirty and smelly and burning them would endanger the ozone layer (besides smelling like a landfill on a summer’s day). Certainly it’s possible to do a controlled burn of hippies that would practically eliminate any damage to surrounding property.
BTW, Mickey Mouse is sufficient reason to boycott Disney. Don’t clutter the argument with irrelevancies like selling biological weapons to terrorist nations.
Not to mention the ethnic slurs in the very name, “Mickey Mouse.” 🙂
Couple of points:
Hippies tend to be damp and hard to light. I recommend disposing of them on trash day. Remember to separate your recyclables! (Hippies are non-recyclable, of course.)
Ninjas are very good at killing things, but cursed skeleton pirates are in fact already dead. This causes great confusion in Ninjas, and while they are trying to think of an effective attack, you can hit the with the book.
Mike the Marine,
I hate to disagree with you, but I just came from a tour in Alaska. It is illegal to feed hippies to bears as apparently patchouli is somewhat toxic.(I may have misspelled “patchouli”. Sorry, I am not a hippy.) I just spoke to my brother who is a state trooper in Soldonta, AK and he has informed me that hippies, once properly processed, make excellent pothole filler. As a reward to the person bringing in the “hippie-fill”, they are given two free movie tickets, courtesy of the state government.
Ahhhhh….
The “hippie-fill” movie special – free tix, large soda, extra large tub of popcorn. Maybe it was Montana that did the bear thing….
Almost no ninjas have guns (and even if they have guns, they forget about them in order to gain style points by using swords). Pirates usually have guns, or at least cannons on their ships. Hence, pirates will usually defeat ninjas.