In My World: A Giant Trailer of Distorted Memories

“Oh dear, it looks like a giant trailer park,” Laura remarked.
“Keep it to yourself,” Bush told her, “I’m trying to use this as a way to be a uniter, not a divider. Where are Jenna and Barbara?”
“There’s no way I’m bringing them near that awful man,” Laura answered, “This whole thing is just a way for Bill Clinton to rewrite history.”
“Yeah, I know,” Bush exclaimed, “I can’t wait to make mine!”
Bush then spotted George H. W. Bush. “Hey, pops!”
“Hi, son; how are you doing?”
“Great. Hey, I just realized: instead of people calling you ‘Bush the elder’ to distinguish you from me, they can call you ‘Bush the one-termer’.”
H. W. was silent for a moment. “That’s great, son.”
Thunder and lightning ripped apart the air, it began raining, and the wind chilled. They all then turned around to see the horrible visage of Senator Hillary Clinton. “Hello, everyone,” she smiled, as if planning to eat her prey.
“Evil harpy!” Bush exclaimed and pointed at her.
“Stay away from us, evil woman,” Laura told her, “We know you care nothing but for power.”
“That’s silly,” Hillary laughed, her evil cackle chilling them to the bone, “I haven’t even decided on whether to run for President in 2008.”
“I don’t think there’s one person in America dumb enough to believe that,” Laura said.
“Even the Nader voters,” Bush added.
Bill Clinton then walked up to the group. “Hey, everybody, glad to see you’re all here. By the way, where’s Jenna and Barbara.”
“Laura didn’t want them anywhere near you,” Bush answered.
Bill laughed and slapped Bush on the back. “Understandable.” He then looked to H. W. “Hey, it’s Bush the one-termer! Remember when I beat you in the 1992 election?”
“Perot had a bit to do with that,” H. W. answered.
“Yeah, that Perot was a funny guy,” Bill laughed, “Whatever happened to him?”
“You better not make a fool of yourself and harm my chanced in ’08!” Hillary threatened Bill, “I know where you sleep!”
“No you don’t,” he answered, and then looked to Bush. “So are you going to give a speech about me?”
“Uh… yeah,” Bush answered as he took out some index cards.
“Make sure it’s all about me,” Bill told him as he led Bush to the podium.
“Hey, everybody, I’m the current U.S. President… newly reelected,” Bush announced, “but today we’re here to honor Bill Clinton, the lucky bastard who happened to preside over relative peace and prosperity. You should have seen the crap I inherited from him. Anyway, he got reelected too, which I guess is significant.” Bush chuckled. “He never got a majority of the vote like I did, though.”
“I got over 50% of the vote,” someone called out.
“That’s great, dad,” Bush answered, “Anyway, in the end, Clinton was a complete scumbag… but an affable scumbag.” Bush looked hard at his index card. “Or is that supposed to be ‘laughable.’ Anyway, what he’ll always be gratefully remembered for is causing the Republican majority in Congress that lasts to this day.”
“Great speech!” Bill said smiling as he took the podium. “Was I the only guy in America who liked both Bush and Kerry?”
“YES!” answered the crowd.
Bill chuckled. “All right then…”

25 Comments

  1. “You better not make a fool of yourself and harm my chances in ’08!” Hillary threatened Bill, “I know where you sleep!”
    “No you don’t,” he answered.
    Which brings me to my next point:
    I wonder who the current semen receptacle is?

  2. Bill Clinton then walked up to the group. “Hey, everybody, glad to see you’re all here. By the way, where’s Jenna and Barbara.”
    “Laura didn’t want them anywhere near you,” Bush answered.
    Bill laughed and slapped Bush on the back. “Understandable.”
    …classic. :oD

  3. “Great. Hey, I just realized: instead of people calling you ‘Bush the elder’ to distinguish you from me, they can call you ‘Bush the one-termer’.”

    H. W. was silent for a moment. “That’s great, son.”

    Mwahahahahaha!

  4. Thunder and lightning ripped apart the air, it began raining, and the wind chilled. They all then turned around to see the horrible visage of Senator Hillary Clinton. “Hello, everyone,” she smiled, as if planning to eat her prey.
    Perfect. Absolutly perfect.

  5. Plbphth! D’oh! I meant to say:
    “Hey Jonag! More important- Did Hillary arrive by Limo…. Or Broomstick?”
    Did I mention preview is my friend? (when I am actually smart enough to use it?)
    {my limo.. Derpy,derpy,derp. Duh! Sorry..}

  6. Frank –

    Bill Clinton then walked up to the group. “Hey, everybody, glad to see you’re all here. By the way, where’s Jenna and Barbara.”
    “Laura didn’t want them anywhere near you,” Bush answered.
    Bill laughed and slapped Bush on the back. “Understandable.” He then looked to H. W. “Hey, it’s Bush the one-termer! Remember when I beat you in the 1992 election?”

    Just great, if this doesn’t sum up the Clinton years, I don’t know what does. : )

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.