Well, Rev. Right over at America is an Obamanation has HIS theory of why Michelle Obama hates Whitey, and a it’s fairly plausible one, but it’s not the only theory out there. Let’s explore some alternative explanations:
Lactose intolerant:
Thinks competitive sports damage children’s self-esteem:
Once dated a mechanic who loved his car more than her:
Doesn’t trust fast-talking men:
Musophobic:
All cookbooks are useless to her unless every recipe starts with “take the batteries out of the smoke alarm”:
Reminds her of the Clintons:
Once when Barack was angry, he stuffed her in a tire and rolled her down a hill:
Who DOESN’T hate the Yankees?:
A mall without a shoe store? Blasphemy!:
Why don’t they just call it the “Happy Klan Hat”?:
Causes problems even an overdose of Beano can’t prevent:
Just sick of being kept down by The Man:
Who’s up for some Whitey’s?
Jeff Sessions joined the “Gang of 14” who oppose John McCain for president.
There is still time for IMAO to FINALLY start backing Ron Paul for president.
“Once when Barack was angry, he stuffed her in a tire and rolled her down a hill”
The greatest line ever. It also made for a nice little image in my head.
And I thought the Ronulans had all committed mass suicide or whatever it was those crazy cultists end up doing. I didn’t realize they were still hanging around here, commenting with information irrelevant to the post.
#2
Have you heard about Operation St. Paul yet?
We’re trying to buy up every Billboard in Minneapolis and St Paul to put Ron Paul quotes on them to distract from the “Masters of the Universe” as Jeff Sessions would say.
I hope he’s willing to be a speaker at the Ron Paul counter convention across the street.
We’re hoping for at least 20,000 so we can vastly outnumber the GOP convention next door.
It could happen…
McCain’s missing voters (aka Paul’s vote percentage)
Caucus Results (votes, % reporting)
25% — Montana: 400 (100%)
22% — Washington: 2,740 (99%)
21% — North Dakota: 2,082 (100%)
19% — Maine: 851 (68%)
17% — Alaska: 1,955 (98%)
16% — Minnesota: 9,852 (100%)
14% — Nevada: 6,087 (100%)
11% — Kansas: 2,182 (100%)
10% — Iowa: 11,817 (98%)
10% — West Virginia: 118 (100%)
8% — Colorado: 4,670 (95%)
Primary Results (votes, % reporting)
24% — Idaho: 29,741 (100%)
22% — Montana: 20,451 (100%)
17% — South Dakota: 10,054 (100%)
16% — Pennsylvania: 128,483 (100%)
15% — Oregon: 49,905 (100%)
14% — New Mexico: 15,319 (99%)
13% — Nebraska: 17,659 (100%)
8% — Washington: 40,539 (100%)
8% — Indiana: 31,628 (99%)
8% — New Hampshire: 18,303 (100%)
8% — District of Columbia: 471 (98%)
7% — New York: 38,918 (99%)
7% — North Carolina: 37,132 (100%)
7% — Kentucky: 13,419 (100%)
7% — Vermont: 2,627 (99%)
7% — Rhode Island: 1,775 (100%)
6% — Michigan: 54,434 (100%)
6% — Tennessee: 30,730 (100%)
6% — Maryland: 17,865 (97%)
5% — Texas: 69,954 (100%)
5% — Ohio: 49,027 (100%)
5% — Illinois: 45,166 (99%)
5% — New Jersey: 26,952 (99%)
5% — Wisconsin: 18,771 (97%)
5% — Arkansas: 10,740 (100%)
5% — Louisiana: 8,595 (100%)
5% — West Virginia: 5,918 (100%)
4% — California: 110,077 (100%)
4% — Missouri: 26,445 (100%)
4% — Arizona: 22,581 (99% )
4% — Virginia: 22,066 (99%)
4% — South Carolina: 16,054 (100%)
4% — Connecticut: 6,092 (100%)
4% — Mississippi: 5,510 (100%)
4% — Delaware: 2,131 (100%)
3% — Florida: 62,063 (99%)
3% — Georgia: 27,978 (100%)
3% — Alabama: 15,454 (99%)
3% — Massachusetts: 13,210 (100%)
3% — Oklahoma: 11,179 (100%)
3% — Utah: 8,295 (99%)
RON PAUL
RON PAUL
RON PAUL
JeffersonDDDFF
NEOCONSS!
RON PAUL
RON PAUL
RON PAUL
RON PAUL
RON PAUL
RON PAUL
RON PAUL
RON PAUL
RON PAUL
RON PAUL
RON
RON PAUL
N PAUL
RON PAUL
RON PAUL
RON PAUL
RON PAU
RON IRAAQ
GOLD
RON PAUL
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RON PAUL
Mrs. Obama also doesn’t like words, phrases or things like:
silver linings
white clouds
bright sunshine
white gloves
vanilla ice cream
white walls
flashlights
flourescent lights
comparisons like ‘black and white’
‘Let there be Light’
white noise (there is no ‘black noise’)
white daisies and lilies
white sheets
bleach
albinos
Barry White
Harvey is great. Frank should “be” him more often; feed the inner Harvey more, let him out to run.
MarkoMancuso, you forgot to mention:
RON PAULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Your best yet, Harvey. It must have been a whole lot of work to find those pictures, compile them, and come up with the explanations. Superb job.
RON PAUL BEEN BARRY BARRY GOOD TO FRANKJ. O!
This is the funnies post I’ve read in a long time. Someone send this somewhere so all can read it and laugh histerically while shooting soda out their nose. And “Barry White” That’s just funny.
Who is this Ron Paul fella?
So many people in this country are utterly confused about so many things.
Most Americans don’t even know that presidential Barack Obama carries a small idol of the Hindu God “Hanuman” with him for good luck. A picture of Obama displaying this idol and his other good luck charms has been found.
Here is the link to this incredible photo:
http://shatteredparadigm.blogspot.com/2008/06/picture-of-hindu-god-that-barack-obama.html
She has every reason to hate whitey…. tampax doesnt come in flesh tones… Poor Michelle has been abused by the man since reaching puberty.
Interesting thing about those vote count numbers…. Pa has way more crazies per capita than CA… if the data is correct.
Is whitey a Paultard? Then I agree with Michelle!
Hey, who doesn’t hate Whitey!? After all, what has Whitey ever done for America? It’s not like he invented just about everything or cured diseases with his research.
Whitey created AIDS to kill the Black Man. Just like Whitey created the common cold to kill the Martians!
That’s mighty white of you, Barack.
And crack- you can’t forget how the CIA implemented crack at Whitey’s behest to chemically enslave the indigent minority.
Of course, there’s malt liquor too… That was even showcased on ‘American Dad’.
Barack-a-bye baby in the tree top,
When the wind blows Baracky will rock,
When the bow breaks the baby will fall,
And down will come Barry, fable and all.
I thought they called that “rap”.
OPEN SEASON ON WHITEY OR ELSE
Is that anything like the ‘brown noise’?
When I’m cold, I turn blue. When I’m hot, I turn red. When I’m shocked, I turn pale. When I’m seasick, I turn green. If I get jaunticed, I turn yellow. If I’m embarassed, I turn pink. If I’m choking I turn purple. And who do they call ‘colored’?
“I thought they called that “rap”.”
Zing!
There is such a thing as black noise, though. (Notice also “noisy white” and “noisy black”. There’s a good joke in that somewhere.)
I, for one, am worried that the upswing in Lactose Intolerance will lead to an increase in anti-dairy violence.