"Oh my gosh when are you due"!?
"I'm a man"!
"You're glowing"!
"You're an idiot."
"Well someone's a little hormonal"!
— Tommytoughstuff (@Tommytoughstuff) July 8, 2014
"Hello, 911"
Hi, yes my neighbor's ginger kid is hurt really bad
"Sir this number is for emergencies"
— dan mentos (@NonCombosMentos) July 8, 2014
Remember before the iPhone when we had to walk everywhere with a separate camera, walkman, calculator, map & a near unlimited stash of porn?
— Jamie DMJ (@JamieDMJ) July 8, 2014
It is clear to me that Democrats prefer a culture war to actually making sure all women have access to all contraception
— Political Math (@politicalmath) July 8, 2014
If only the Germans had a word for taking pleasure in the misfortunes of others.
— delrayser (@delrayser) July 8, 2014
See? All it takes is an excruciating national humiliation in front of the entire world to get Americans interested in soccer.
— Cuffé (@CuffyMeh) July 8, 2014
Bad News For Brazil: They got whooped
Good News for Brazil: It's just soccer, a game favored by children and weaklings
— Baron_Von_Meow (@AceofSpadesHQ) July 8, 2014