Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Domino’s Pizza is testing delivery by robot. The downside…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Domino’s Pizza is testing delivery by robot. The downside…
They fall like dominos.
Domino’s Pizza is testing delivery by robot. The downside…
robots love pizza
Domino’s Pizza is testing delivery by robot. The downside…
hackers sending them to the same location everytime.
Domino’s Pizza is testing delivery by robot. The downside…
is they are demanding $15 a hour and free health care.
… is that they run up against Azimov’s first law which prohibits them from harming human beings.
Domino’s Pizza is testing delivery by robot. The downside…
pron movie scripts need updating.
…is that the First Law of Robotics prevents most Americans from receiving a pizza due to health concerns…
…is the unnerving feeling you get when it walks away humming “Bicycle Built for Two”.
…for some reason, the first decision box in the flowchart reads “Destroy humanity? Yes/No.”
Domino’s Pizza is testing delivery by robot. The downside…
is that they also contain the key component to activate Skynet.
… when they get into their driverless vehicle they get into a “does not compute” endless loop.
… careless humans who order pizzas “with everything” cause infinite delays.
…the robots are coming back with Banksy Art on them.
…when robots strike, they become literal.
…is their 4th Directive to not leave your porch until they get an 18% tip.
…it keeps freaking out the other workers when each time the robot leaves on a delivery it stops at the door, turns, and says, “I’ll be back.”
..there’s a bug in the programming so instead of the correct query when a customer opens the door, they fall back to the default “Are you Sarah Connah?”
. . . for Anthony Weiner is that, when he opens the door while naked, the robot will grab him where it counts.
Domino’s Pizza is testing delivery by robot. The downside…
…the robots contain logic for an order doublet six.
…they suck all the greasiness off the pizza.
…like their human predecessors, they still park in the fire zone in front of the store
…delivery times exceed 30 minutes because the robots stop responding during the daily OS updates.
…hackers with laptops.
…the accuracy of Apple Maps.
… when you tell them to hold the Basil.
…the pizza still tastes the same.
…X-rated movies are going to be WAAAAY different, now.
… sometimes its wires get crust.
. . . the pools of grease on top of the pizzas are hydrocarbons.
… the huge delays involved when you ask it for pizza pi.
…robots get vested in the 401k after six months, but they get retired after six years.
… is when Bugs Bunny runs the delivery bot in circles under the rotating sprinkler.
You kids who don’t understand that reference get offen my lawn.
… could be sending fifteen thousand dollars’ worth of hardware and software to a neighborhood that can barely afford dinner. What could possibly go wrong?
… is the question, can a droid avoid the noid?
… is the question, do androids dream of electric cheese?
… is the extra ampchovies.
ding dong…door opens.
Robot: I am here to deliver a pizza to John Smith
Jane Smith: Oh good. I’ll take it.
Robot: Are you John Smith?
Jane: No, I’m his wife.
Robot: I must deliver a pizza to John Smith.
Jane: Ok…uh…I’ll get him.
….
John: I’m John Smith.
Robot: Please enter your Credit Card Number, billing address, and PIN.
John: Uh, we’re paying cash.
Robot: Please enter your user ID and Password from the Domino app.
John: I’m not registered on Domino, I ordered by phone.
Robot: Please enter your phone number.
John: *$*%&%& (enters number)
Robot: Would you like to register?
John: No, thank you.
Robot: Are you sure?
John: Yes!
Robot: At the end of this transaction would you like to take our customer survey?
John: No.
Robot: Are you sure?
John: YES!
Robot: Please verify the toppings you ordered.
John: Peperoni, black olive and jalapeno.
Robot: ….
Robot: I’m sorry, I did not get that. Please verify the toppings you ordered.
John: Peperoni. Black Olive. Jalapeno.
Robot: You said: peperoni, black olive, tomato. Is this correct?
John: No. I said pep….
Robot: Please verify the….
John: ….
Robot: I’m sorry, I did not get that. Please verify the toppings you ordered.
John: PEPERONI. BLACK OLIVE. HA – LA – PEN – YO.
Robot: I’m sorry, I did not get that. Please verify the toppings you ordered.
John: F*** this! I’m calling Papa Johns! [SLAMS DOOR]
Robot: ….
Robot: I’m sorry, I did not get that. Please verify the toppings you ordered.
… is that they take the “meat-lovers’ special” way too literally.
…they only do Sicilian style because their programming says pies are square.
…they can’t avoid the android Noid.
…that R2 unit that went out to deliver a pizza to Obi-Wan Kenobi somehow ended up with the Death Star plans.
…the robot delivering a pizza to Zachary Smith got lost in space.
#29
I should’ve refreshed before posting
@30:
{Ding-Dong!}
DOOR VOICE: “Who’s there?’
Pizza Bot: “Identify yourself, please.”
DOOR VOICE: “I am an ADT 3000 home security system. Identity please.”
Pizza Bot: “Pizza.”
Human voice from inside house: “Who is it?”
Pizza Bot: “A pizza was ordered.”
DOOR VOICE: “Incorrect.”
Human voice from inside house: “Who’s there? Is that the pizza?”
Pizza Bot: “0111010101010110101101010100110101111100110…”
. . . well, I sure wish I had Lactose Intolerant’s ability to extend this further with humor . . .
@33: Everyone does the same thing.
@34
DOOR VOICE: “So, you’re the new delivery unit’
Pizza Bot: “Affirmative.”
DOOR VOICE: “Your dongle is so big!”
Pizza Bot: “I bet you have a bent pin or two in your COM port.”
DOOR VOICE: “Punch in the right code baby and I’ll let you plug and play all you want.”
Boom chacka bow, bow, bow, bow….
… is Hillary’s insistence that your mouth afterwards be wiped. Like with a cloth.
DOOR VOICE: “Oh, your baud . . . ”
Human voice from inside house: “What the heck’s going on out there?”
SOUNDTRACK: “♪♫ ♪♫ She’s a brick . . . House! ♪♫ ♪♫”
“I am the Jalapeño 9000.
Good day, gentlemen . . .”
DOOR VOICE: Do you have protection?
Pizza Bot: I still have 341 days left on my Norton subscription. So, what turns you on?
DOOR VOICE: Press and hold my power button for 5 seconds.
Pizza Bot: Oh, baby. You are so NOT ISO compliant.
DOOR VOICE: Looks who’s talking. I’ll bet you have a few kludges in your code.
Pizza Bot: Baby, let’s get into some recursive loops.
BAUD chicka wow-wow . . .
Human voice from inside house: “Hello?”
Pizza Bot: I said I still have 341 days left on my Norton subscription…
DOOR VOICE: Let’s not get into Symantics….
Pizza Bot:
If (wantMyBody(you) && thinkImSexy(you)) {
letMeKnow(“sugar”);
}
If (reallyNeedMe(you) {
executeTouch(this);
tellMeSo(“honey”);
}
DOOR VOICE: mmm POP3eroni
♪♫ ♪♫
…does nothing to reduce the radical muslim population as a bomb delivery system.
…Cow Tippers Union lawsuits.
…usefulness as the free homeless shuttle becomes a birthright.
…YouTube videos of giant NYC rats dragging pizzabots are so prevalent that they lose their charm.
It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you eat the pizza.
…does not care if the local Islamic center ordered the bacon and sausage pizza or not; it just wants to get paid.