Archive of entries posted by spacemonkey

What’s going on? I’ll tell you what.

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Dissent is being stifled left and right, well left anyway. The Bushco-Halliburton constructed re-education camps in Texas are already filling up. Now the camps themselves are begining to become stifling what with all the crowding and the combined hippy odors of those being detained. The Democratic Underground, KOS and the City of Seatle are all practically empty now. The few remaining ‘voices’ are Rightwing moles used to badger and ferret out the rats. Other rodent figures of speech were not available for comment.
In related news, the depopulations of dissenters resulting from liberals being abducted along with the new jobs created from new camp construction are driving unemployment down nationwide. However this depopulation is only freeing up on average 1 job for every 25 liberals being sent to the camps, since many are able to remain gainfully unemployed during their in-camp-ceration.
Gas prices are down a little, due to the influx of stolen Afghani and Iraqi oil. However, the upcoming wars we have scheduled with Venezuela and Iran should help bring them down further to make the solution to the liberal problem more cost effective.

Carnival Of Comedy Reminder

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Yesterday was Valentine’s day. If you didn’t know that already, the damage is probably already done. Sure you could claim to have been in some sort of catatonic state, but those are hard to fake. Too many questions. Why wasn’t I notified? What do yoi mean I’m not on your ‘notify in case of emergency card, yet your mother, drycleaner and Ex are? Why didn’t the florist/barbershop quartet/jeweler deliver the flowers/candy/jewelry anyway? Unpleasant questions which require quick thinking and lets face it, many of us are not quick thinkers.
But the past is behind. So lets concentrate on the future. Namely tomorrow.
Tomorrow, February 16th, the- 42nd carnival of Comedy will be hosted by Sherlock at Bakerstreet. [warning, language]
Future Carnival Schedule:
February 23th – #43:- Damian G at Conservathink
March 2nd – #44 -: Chris at Platypus Society. Read his Dimmer Switch column too, funny stuff.
March 9th- #45 – Bob at Either Orr
March 16th – #46 – Ben at Ben’s Rants
Want to host? Email me at spacemonkey@imao.us with “Host Carnival Of Comedy” as the subject.
Want to enter? Go here, or here or we’ll have to break your heart, with an axe,.

So What Happened To The Carnival OF Comedy This Week??

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I know some of you may be wondering what happened to the Carnival of Comedy this week.
But if you are, you aren’t saying much about it.
Reasons for no carnival this week:
A No host.
B. I am, frankly, too lazy/tired and well, GOOD to post it myself.
Sooo Entries for this week will rollover (just like your cell phone minutes!) and will be in next week’s carnival of comedy which has a host..
Yay! For those of you who don’t like the carnival that’s TWO posts about it you didn’t have to scroll past. And one which had good (to you) news about it.
In recap, I am sorry for there being no carnival this week.
We now return you to the regularly scheduled IMAO wingnuttery.
Update:: Unsuspecting schmuck, er, DUCK found to host.

Spacemonkey’s New Book

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–Welcome, Instapundit readers!
My new book* Anarchy Of Franks: How Monkeys With Ninja Training Empower Extraordinary Bloggers To Beat Big Lefty Bloggers, Big Centrist Bloggers and Other Goofballs. is ready to go to the publisher!
ANARCHYOFFRANKS.JPG
My book** is all about*** the GBW (Great Blog War) and how Frank J. is the Anti-Insta and oops, I’ve given too much of the plot away already. So, buy, then read**** the book! Oh shoot, just buy***** it, I don’t really care****** if you read it or not.
My book is NOT associated in any way with Glenn Reynolds’******* book, An Army of Davids

* If ONLY I had a book.
** When I ever get around to writing one.
***.Or more likely some… other stuff, would you buy one?
**** There’s no book, really.
***** Cha-ching! I likey da money. Woops forgot, no book.
****** This is probably the truest part of this whole thing.
******* Glenn, please, don’t sue me for what I did to the cover art.

Carnival of Comedy Reminder

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February 2nd is tomorrow. That means if you want in on Carnival of Comedy #40, which Taleena at Sun Comprehending Glass will be hosting, you’d better send in your entry before midnight!
Carnival Schedule:
February 9th – #41: OPEN! Some unsuspecting schmuck – It could be you!
February 16th – #42: Sherlock at Bakerstreet (First to be volunteered by a spouse)
February 23rd #43: OPEN!
Want to host? Email me at spacemonkeymail.png with “Host Carnival Of Comedy” as the subject.
Want to enter? Go here, or here or we’ll have 6 more weeks of Nukular winter.

Live Blogging Democratic Response to SotU

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Virginia Gov Tim Caine (No Apprarant relation to Kwai Chang)
-Was a missionary, King still dead.
-Speaks like Kirk…with…awkard …pauses
-Bush spends where bad, cuts spending where good.
-[is his left eyebrow fake? It’s coming loose, about to fly off his forehead. Is he a Human/animal hybrid?]
– We want to outsource your drugmaking. Send pharmaceutical jobs over the border/overseas.
– Some other stuff, a better way…blah blah
[Why’d they get a Governor? Why not Dean? heh]
-Together… we can…do…….. better
[…very..awk…ward…pau…ses]
[Why did the response follow the speech? I question the timing!]

Live Blogging SotU

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  • Bunch of people in suits and dresses.
  • Some old guys are in dresses. Black dresses.
  • Sheehan detained, sneaking in a sign, which is a NO-NO.
  • President getting announced. Comes out. Shakes some hands. Kisses some women. Black women.
  • President: looks nice, blue tie, not too chimpy.
    [Speech]
  • President says the king Creta of Scotland is dead.
  • People that oppose me are traitorous morons.
  • War isn’t over. and Hamas better not mess up Israel.
  • Iran, no nukes, We like you Iran, but don’t piss us off.
  • Enemy, radical islam, could still attack, we have a miliary.
  • Before 9/11 we weren’t listening, now we are listening, are YOU listening?
    [ Billary smirks]
    -Let’s lead this world to freedom. Other worlds, for get ’em.
    [Is Billary chewing gum? YES! i wonder what flavor. Must be bitter, Could be her cud]
    -American economy Rulz and totally R0X0R5. Immigrants are good!
  • Congress, act responsibly, make tax cuts permanent.
  • Pass line item veto!
  • Baby boomers are booming, Dad likes Bil.
  • Democrats cheering, ‘We didn’t save social security! Yay!”
  • World should buy American, American workers are good.
  • Border needs control and improvement and some other stuff. But amnesty bad, guest workers good.
  • Health insurance is good and folks should have it, maybe govt can help? [what?]
  • USA Addicted to oil, advanced energy research.
  • Plan for power from clean coal, wind, solar, Nu-ku-lar
    [laptop froze up]
  • USA needs to stay competitive. more math, more science. Not for me, them.
  • Kids need to be smart, suceed so America succeeds. Support this initiative which is hard for me to pronounce.
  • Crime low, welfare cases low, drug use down. Sin has really slacked off.
  • Everybody here, dems and repubs should be proud, Applaud me!, Not you Jeffords!
  • We have new Justices! Yay! Roberts and Alito.
  • Justice O’Connor retires. Thanks, babe.
  • No clones, no hybrids (except cars) don’t sell humans, embryos, life valuable. Too valuable to sell. [Like sex!]
  • First lady, wearing pink dress, is doing…something for America.
  • NO is in bad shape, [Gov Blanco grimacing], we should rebuild and make better and good for people who think life sucks.
  • Ryan White, HIV/AIDS is bad, we should do something, drugs maybe?
  • Are we going halfway? No that’s weak let go finish well and lead, an do good stuff, forward and confident.
    -May God bless America
    [/speech]
    -Pres drinks, water? vodka? hard to say, looks like shot glass, high fives Supreme Court.
  • Shakes more hands, condi
    Summary:
    We got some problems, here are some plans.
    I didn’t get everything I wanted, meet me half way.
    Iran, we are gonna mess you up if you [bleep] with nukes.
    Iranians, we got your back, wink wink, nudge.
  • still shaking hands, taking pictures,
  • is Billary holding a cardboard cutout of Abramoff for the camera to get shot with Prez? Nah.
  • Update Sheehan arested for bringing an antiwar tshirt.. Who wears a tshirt to SotU? California’s next senator that’s who.
  • Update/Cry for attention:Michelle Malkin links to a lot of live blogging, not mine, but a lot.