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  1. Schroeder “Hand check Frenchy, Both my hands are on your back, only one of your hands is on my back”
    or
    Chirac “Turn your head to the side and cough….and tell me you love me”

  2. Shall we dance?
    On a bright cloud of music shall we fly?
    Shall we dance?
    Shall we then say “Goodnight and mean “Goodbye”?
    Or perchance,
    When the last little star has left the sky,
    Shall we still be together
    With are arms around each other
    And shall you be my new romance?
    On the clear understanding
    That this kind of thing can happen,
    Shall we dance?
    Shall we dance? Shall we Dance?

  3. AP: Gerhart Schroder was released from the hospital today after having his eye checked. A spokesman said that he did not suffer any serious injury. During his greeting of French President Jaques Chirac, Mr. Chirac leaned forward to to kiss Mr. Schroeder’s cheek, misjudged the distance, and ended up poking him in the eye with his nose.

  4. In the incident that kicked off the first openly gay menage-a-trois among international leaders, Gerhard Schroeder is shown putting a move on Jacques Chirac while winking at Vladimir Putin. When asked to comment, Schroeder snarled ‘Not now! I have to go occupy France and invade Russia.’

  5. On this episode of fear factor. Who can hug the smelly frenchman the longest without vomitting.
    “Come on Schroeder! Only 2 minutes 3 seconds until you beat John Kerry’s time and advance to the next round”

  6. Chirac: “HAHA, remember when your country invaded my country, and we were occupied for years? Oh, man, last night was so much fun.”
    Schroeder: “I told you never to mention that here!”

  7. Schroeder: “Why did you just kiss me?”
    Chirac: “Why are you holding me so close?”
    Schroeder: “Where is your other hand?”
    Chirac: “Between two pillows.”
    Scroeder: “Those aren’t pillows!”

  8. Chriac: Leet me shows zou ze true meaning of being Saddam-ized! Zhis I learned from ze Beast of Bagdad!
    Schroeder: I am your Deutsch Hunde! Make me bark like the little bitch I am!

  9. Chirac: “You look beautiful with your hair so precisely mussed up!”
    Schroeder: “Yeah, it’s cool to be gay these days”
    hugs
    Trust me Frank, I went to Europe with my buddy and every single man there looked like a woman or equally as flamboyant as Elton John. They take metrosexual beyond gay.

  10. Frank,
    You study aikido, so I’m a little surprised you didn’t recognize this move. What you mistakenly refer to as ‘chemistry’ is really a hapkido move that involves clutching your adversary, swiftly yet gently pulling them close to your chest, then, while closing one eye, impaling them with your eyebrow.
    Love,
    Alice

  11. “I vill now bite your pallid, waxy, smelly french neck- and you vill be my dark minion forever!!! Mwuuaaaaa- haaaaa- haaaaaaa!!! Oh, vait… you already are my dark minion… Oh, vell… I bite that nasty neck anyvay!!”

  12. “Bastard! You break up with me now, in front of all these people, because you think I will not make a scene!! Well, you are wrong about that!! Who is your new hussy??? It’s that new Spanish Prime Minister- the one with the really big socialist agenda- isn’t it!! ISN’T IT!!!!???”

  13. We figured that with two pairs of these huge ears, we could just hold on tight and fly away with the wind.

    Schroeder: “I make this funny face because Chirac is reminescent of Sonic the Hedgehog, and God knows we Germans hate Sonic the Hedgehog… and the jooooos.

  14. “…No, I’m telling you Chirac, GORE is the one who kissed his wife on stage during the 2000 US Presidential campaign, not Bush. It doesn’t work, so stop asking everytime you see me. The people… they just don’t like to see PDA like that anymore. It doesn’t matter that we both support each other when no one else is around…”

  15. “Hey, Schroder, have you seen the latest IMAO T-Shirt Babe? Let me tell you, buddy, you’ve got to head over there and check her out. I’ve got about a hundred of those “Nuke the Moon” shirts now. Just don’t click on the winning picture if you know whats good for you; I did and about messed my lederhosen.”

  16. Schroeder: And are you experiencing any discomfort?
    Chriac: Just a little burning during urination.
    Schroeder: Okay, any other pain?
    Chriac: The haunting memories of lost love. May I? (signals to Gore) Lights? (Gore turns down the lights and Chriac lights a cigar) Our eyes met across the crowded hat store. I, a customer, and he a coquettish haberdasher. Oh, I pursued and he withdrew, then he pursued and I withdrew, and so we danced. I burned for him, much like the burning during urination that I would experience soon afterwards.
    Schroeder: Gonorrhea?!
    Chriac: Gonorrhea!

  17. Schroeder’s thoughts: Hug..Frenchman??? This is a foreign concept; I only know about killing Frenchies and taking over their land…
    Chirac’s thoughts: Thank God he hasn’t invaded me yet, thank God he hasn’t invaded me yet…

  18. Chirac to Schroeder: “Try not to show any reaction since the cameras are on us, but I have some bad news. FrankJ is going to feature us in a caption contest.”
    Random sidenote: WTF was the GERMAN chancelor doing at the D-DAY Memorial Ceremony anyway?

  19. This is has got to be one of the funniest pics I’ve ever seen.. I’ve been chuckling at all day.
    My lame attempt:
    “Yearrgh, mein lederhosen is bunching up something fierce”.
    Seriously, Schroeder looks like he just let one slip. Channelling Cheech.. “geez, I hope that was a fart!”. And do men actually hug that way? Usually both guys sling at least one arm over the other’s shoulder, maybe he’s too short, but this looks really gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  20. hahaha!! scott! It’s funny, cuz it’s true. But I still love Devil Dog’s “Ixnay on the issingkay in ublicpay!”, but quite alot of these made me laugh. Good luck Frank.. tough choices.

  21. AP: G. Schroeder’s worst nightmare comes true. At least he saved money on his car insurance.
    OR
    Nein! Nein!
    OR
    You can see the homophobia in Schroeder’s eyes… er, um, eye.
    OR
    The touch, the feel of cotton. And by cotton, I mean Chirac.

  22. Schroeder: Woah, when’s the last time you brushed your teeth?
    Chirac: Hmm….let me see, I think, 20 years ago. Yes, it was when I was meeting Saddam. Very nice fellow, I wanted to surrender to him one day.
    Schroeder: Man, hey, put your hand in my left pocket, there’s some breath mints in there. Nooo, that’s not it.
    Chirac: Oh, hehe.

  23. “My God, man. Put on some deodorant! It smells like something DIED in here!”
    or
    “Ahhh…so THERE’S where that smell’s coming from!”
    or
    “Arrr…wanna see me PIRATE impression? Arrr…”

  24. AP Newswire: “After indulging in stinky French cheese, the French President embraced the German Chancellor. In a show of European unity, M. Chirac and Herr Schroeder agreed to run to McDonalds for a Big Mac after the G-8 had concluded.”

  25. “Hey, aren’t you the guy that used to drive the school bus in 1953?”
    “Yep. I was also the guy that came to test your matress while you were sleeping. You were always very good with your tongue.”
    “Oh yeah, that’s ri–wait, WHAT?!“

  26. “You know you need it! Hey, I need it too! Alright, you know you need it! It’s good for youuuu–You don’t move! You know you need it!”
    “Honey, come on now, that song is just so last week. Sing that Barbie one to me, please. You know how well it turns me on…”

  27. “You won! You won! You won the grand prize!”
    “Yay! What is it?”
    “Me, hun. Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of lube…”
    “Oh my god, you mean, like, for protection?”
    “No silly, for your asssssssss…”
    “Oh! Oh, that’s ok then. For a minute then, I thought you were going t–uh oh.”

  28. “But I don’t wanna grab your ass! You paid me to get groped, and by god – also know as me 0 you’re gonna get groped!
    Wait, what is that I can feel passing back and forth underneath my crotch?”

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