Let’s extract a little gas out of this rock before it’s all over.

If Kamala wins, it’ll mean eight years of socializing our republic.

If Trump wins, there’s a four-year delay, and then the effort begins again.

I just want to post this prediction here, for bragging rights if it comes true:

1. Joe Biden will either resign the presidency or be incapacitated before January. May wait to see how the election turns out.

2. Kamala will become the first woman president. Yay!

3. In the flurry of good vibes, she will issue a pardon to Joe, Hunter, and other Biden clan members of any federal crimes — the real reason for her ascent.

I feel this in my bones to be 70-80% likely.

Mary Ann: Mmmmph!

Oppo: Don’t fret, little lady.

[Subdues cannibal, kicks aside Gilligan and spear.]

Mary Ann: Mmmmph!

Oppo: Let me untie you. I’d never take advantage of a woman in your predicament. [Unties her.]

Mary Ann: Mmmph!

Oppo: Oh, yeah, the gag. Let me get that off your mouth. Now you just run along to where you’ll be safe, and I’ll keep these hombres from following you.

Mary Ann: You’re quite a man!

Oppo [Spanks her playfully] Git, little lady!

So at least I get something out of this little scene.

… and then Ginger, panting, comes into the room, collapses on a chair, and says:

“Believe me, Mary Ann: either you’re going to have to make Oppo’s jockeys larger or put in some more pleats!”

Mary Ann, without replying, absent-mindedly unbuttons her top two buttons and starts brushing her hair.

“No,” says Ginger. “You don’t understand…”

Hunter Biden changes his plea to GUILTY as his $1.4million tax evasion trial kicks off in LA
Daily Mail UK | September 5, 2024 | Josh Boswell

Hunter Biden is pleading guilty to at least some of the nine tax charges against him, in a stunning last-minute reversal at his criminal trial in Los Angeles.

The change was not due to a plea deal, with prosecutor Leo Wise telling Judge Mark Scarsi on Thursday: ‘this is the first we’re hearing of this’.

The stunning revelation was made by Hunter’s attorney Abbe Lowell in front of the judge, while 120 potential jurors waited next door to be selected for his trial.

Lowell cited legal cases and precedents suggesting that by pleading guilty, the judge would have to decide on the facts of the case rather than a jury, and the judge could only use material that has already been filed in the case.

Wise said he needed time to review the legal case Lowell cited, and the judge allowed them to take a break until 11am.

The shocking U-turn may is an apparent Hail Mary strategy by the defense to try to stop damaging and embarrassing evidence being presented to the jury.

4 linked to Venezuelan gang arrested at Arapahoe County apartment. ( Aurora, Colorado )
KDVR | Sep 3, 2024 | Maddie Rhodes, Courtney Fromm, Vicente Arenas

DENVER — Four people with ties to a Venezuelan gang, Tren de Aragua, were arrested at an apartment complex on South Quebec Street in late August, according to the Arapahoe County Sheriff’s Office.

FOX31’s Courtney Fromm confirmed with the sheriff’s office that during “proactive policing” on Aug. 21, deputies arrested six people at the Ivy Crossing Apartments near South Quebec Street and High Line Smith Way on a variety of charges ranging from drugs to stolen vehicles.

The sheriff’s office told Fromm that the Ivy Crossing Apartments are not a safety concern and this investigation is ongoing. FOX31’s Vicente Arenas was told by the sheriff’s office that it focused its community policing efforts on the swath of complexes near South Quebec Street and East Harvard Avenue.

The sheriff’s office told Fromm that during the investigation, four people were identified as members or associates of Tren de Aragua. Law enforcement from the sheriff’s office, Immigration and Customs Enforcement and the Department of Homeland Security were in the area on Aug. 21.

“We’re looking for any violation that we can stop and make contact with somebody and addressing the issues that they might have,” Arapahoe County Sheriff Tyler Brown told Arenas.

The officers were looking for things like stolen vehicles and persons wanted by other jurisdictions. The proactive operation took place in an area of the county where there have been two cases in the past five years of officers shooting and killing suspects, in addition to a SWAT situation. On Aug. 21, officers seized 750 counterfeit pills, some ketamine and a stolen car.

“There had been some conversation that there were some things going on in our jurisdiction and we developed a plan,” said Brown.

The sheriff’s office said they can’t disclose how the individuals were confirmed to have ties to the gang. The individuals are currently in custody, but it’s unclear where at this time.

Earlier this summer, law enforcement said a jewelry store robbery was linked to the Venezuelan Tren de Aragua gang. In late August, a video surfaced of people seen carrying guns and entering apartments at an Aurora complex, which were confirmed members of the gang, [Imaginary] Department of Homeland Security sources confirmed to NewsNation.

The Aurora Police Department announced in August that it collaborated with the Colorado State Patrol and Colorado Bureau of Investigation to create a special [imaginary] task force to address the city’s [imaginary] concerns about the gang.

The Day the Mirth Stood Still

Well, I’ll stand a lot, but I won’t stand a still.