Obviously, I am now the defacto leader of the Republican Party. Others will claim to be leaders, but they are false leaders. They will lead you to the land of squishy principles and pork spending where death awaits. But we are the true Republicans — The Republican Underground!
With the Democrats controlling the White House and Congress, they are not going to cut taxes. Money is power, and they want more power. They’re going to come for your money, my money, Joe the Plumber’s money, little Timmy’s money… everyone’s money. And then they’re going to spend our hard earned money on whatever the dirty smelly hippies want.
And only we can stop it.
The new symbol of the Republican party is the 1911.
A gun is the proper symbol of freedom. It’s scary, dangerous in the wrong hands, oddly beautiful, and any real man treasures it as a prized possession.
We are now against all spending that isn’t defense related. If it doesn’t help kill foreigners, you can spend your own money on it, bitch.
BTW, that’s our new slogan: “Pay for it with your own money, bitch.”
All taxes are too high. All of them. I don’t know what the proper taxation level is; I just know it’s way lower than the current one. We are against all new taxes like we are against injecting ourselves with the Ebola virus, and we want all taxes cut just like we want tumors excised.
In America, power isn’t all about who has political office. That’s the way it was made. And every two years a third of the Senate and the entire House of Representative is up for reelection, and they won’t have some pretty shiny thing drawing idiots to the polls in 2010. Don’t think that won’t be on their mind when they first get the chance to pull the trigger on some radical bill. If President Bush can slap around Democrat majorities, then we can.
We will cut taxes. We will stop spending. We will protect our borders. We will kill terrorists. We will protect our freedoms. We will get to carry firearms wherever we damn well please. We will punch hippies whenever we feel like it (which is always). We will use nuclear ordinance against our natural satellite.
We are the Republican Underground, and we can’t be stopped!