Mystery Missile

Posted on November 10, 2010 11:03 am

So, apparently there was like a missile fired 35 miles away from Los Angeles, and no one is sure whose it is and where it came from. Anyway, I just want to put some rumor to rest: This is not a secret attempt to nuke the moon. That is idiotic to even think that. The whole point of nuking the moon is that we’d announce it loudly beforehand and be like, “We’re nuking the moon and no one can stop us!” And everyone would be like, “No! Not the moon! You crazy Americans!” And then we’d be like, “Shut up, or we’ll pretend you’re a moon!”

As for what really is the story behind the missile, I don’t know. Since the dawn of time, missiles have just been suddenly fired into the air with no explanation and remain a mystery for all time. Let’s just hope it doesn’t blow up anyone we know or care about.

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25 Responses to “Mystery Missile”

  1. Jimmy says:

    I’m OK with it landing on Mitch McConnell’s hypocritical, pointed head.

  2. mattpickus says:

    I heard it was fired by those crazies at FoxNews who remain upset about the whole Jerry Brown / Barbara Boxer thing. At least that is what Keith and Chris are saying.

  3. plentyobailouts says:

    Its an all around bad thing.

    Bad thing: Someone fired a missle near los angeles
    Bad thing: it missed
    Bad thing: the missile did not take out carrot top
    Bad thing: nancy pelousy still breathes

    See what I mean?

  4. Joe Schmo says:

    My fault, sorry about that.

    There was this squirrel out to the west….

  5. ussjimmycarter says:

    I wonder if Omar had time to yell Allah Akbar before the missle misfired and blew out of his apartment window?

  6. Corona says:

    It’s just a jets’ contrail, or, if you will, chemtrail.
    I can’t believe I heard on the radio (maybe it was John & Ken) where they were being told a jets’ contrail is composed of water vapor. Yeah. That’s what jets run on. Water. Oh brother. It’d be easier to believe that it’s the vaporized contents of the jets’ toilets.

  7. MarkoMancuso says:

    It’s Obama’s ego! Shooting into space!

  8. Jimmy says:

    Products of combustion, Corona:

    2 C12H26 + 37 O2 = 24 CO2 + 26 H2O and a bunch of weird toxic stuff.

  9. storm1911 says:

    The mussies never did master guidance systems.
    It was wamp gas reflecting off of a weather ballon.

  10. Burmashave says:

    Obviously not an attempt to nuke the moon. If it had been a moon nuke shot, we would have been provided with Nuke the Moon T-shirts in advance so that everyone would know about our dangerous wackiness and awesome power.

    It came from the water. Aqua Buddha’s first name is aqua. Need I say more?

  11. Big Al says:

    I’m shocked and surprised that nobody has the right answer to this mystery. It’s simple –
    It’s Bush’s fault.
    See, it’s like this. Bush fired off one of his missiles from his stealth fleet of ships he maintains for whatever evil purpose that presents itself. Why? Simple – It wasn’t meant to actually hit anything, but fall harmlessly off the coast of Southern California. When the gov’ment tracked down the area where it fell they’d hire Haliburton to come and search for and try to recover said missile (of course Haliburton would NEVER find it… that we’d know of, but that’s beside the point). Haliburton could then, under the cover of dilligently searching for the mystery missile, use one of there stealth drilling rigs that they maintain for such purpose to drill for all the oil that lay off the Califoria coast in whatever protected area that might happen to be there. They’d then install a pipeline to the northern part of Alaska where they would be able to pretend to drill in the protected Wildlife Area/Refuge/State Park thingie there which the Tea Party would open up to drilling… but since its so cold there nobody really wants to drill… therefore THIS! After all, all Bush wanted all along was the Oil. Bush will get his Oil.

    …either that or it was an Alien Spaceship crashing after catching fire during entry into our atmosphere. Probably came down in Area 51 were we won’t be allowed to find it, dang it.

  12. Big Al says:

    Actually a jets “contrail” IS composed mostly (almost entirely) of water vapor condenced by the cold atmosphere interacting with the heat of the exaust from whatever kind of engine that passes thru the cold temperture layer… which is why sometimes you see’em, sometimes you don’t. Depends of the temps and the amount of water vapor available, not the chemical composition.
    Anybody that has started a car on a cold winters morning has seen the same exact thing.

  13. Lolziter says:

    What if it blows up somebody we know but don’t care about?

  14. Carolyn says:

    The government is probably a bit embarassed about a premature release like that.

  15. AaronHorrocks says:

    “Let’s just hope it doesn’t blow up anyone we know or care about.”

    That sounds like something that would be said in a little back and forth from Sam & Max.

  16. DamnCat says:

    Dang it! Who set off my missle? I was saving that for New Years!

  17. Jimmy says:

    Instead of Nuking The Moon, how about we Nuke The Fed?

    I’m with RON PAUL! on this one.

  18. zzyzx says:

    That wocket was just rittle present from us to ret you know we still here…Kim Jong Il, head evil dictator, No. Korea.

  19. Proud Infidel says:

    OK, OK. I’ll fess up. It was my missile launched from my ballistic missile sub, accidently. We were having a post election celebration featuring all kinds of fun drinking games when one of the guys tripped and spilled his beer on the missile launch control panel and the next thing we hear is this loud WHOOOSH sound and the First Mate said “Holy crap, Batman, I think we accidently launched an ICBM!” Boy were our faces red! Plus we were not pleased with the loss of a perfectly good beer. I gotta remember to shut down the missile launch control panel before we start drinking. My bad.

    Next time we’ll hold the party on my B-2 bomber to be safe.

  20. Raving Lunatic says:

    I like the explanation over at Michelle Malkin’s place: “It was Nancy Pelosi on her last joyride.”

  21. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    Has anyone heard from Iran since then? Maybe Obama finally decided to nuke them and just didn’t want his Muslim and progressive communist friends to know? It’s not like Iran can tell anyone, they’re not there anymore.

  22. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    What about balloon boys father? Is he out of jail? Maybe this time it’s missile boy. OR, what about the little girl who tried to sail around the world? The boat thing didn’t work out so this could be plan B.

  23. Sgt Relic says:

    “Let’s just hope it doesn’t blow up anyone we know or care about”

    Not much chance of that. It looked like it was headed for San Fransicko!

  24. seanmahair says:

    Funny they totally missed the dinosaur with rocket launchers. Huh, how’d that happen.

  25. Veeshir says:

    I certainly wasn’t Iowahawk!
    (33rd update)

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