So, apparently there was like a missile fired 35 miles away from Los Angeles, and no one is sure whose it is and where it came from. Anyway, I just want to put some rumor to rest: This is not a secret attempt to nuke the moon. That is idiotic to even think that. The whole point of nuking the moon is that we’d announce it loudly beforehand and be like, “We’re nuking the moon and no one can stop us!” And everyone would be like, “No! Not the moon! You crazy Americans!” And then we’d be like, “Shut up, or we’ll pretend you’re a moon!”
As for what really is the story behind the missile, I don’t know. Since the dawn of time, missiles have just been suddenly fired into the air with no explanation and remain a mystery for all time. Let’s just hope it doesn’t blow up anyone we know or care about.