The Most Offensive Toy in Britain

[High Praise! to Tongue Tied]

Per the Daily Mail:

A [British] luxury department store has apologised for selling wooden toy versions of Soviet-era rocket launchers. London store Liberty was forced to pull the £23.50 toy from is shelves following a number of complaints, with some describing it as “vile” and “tasteless”.

It’s… a TOY.

What in the world are they objecting to?

I speculate thusly:
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* It’s pink, the official color of breast-cancer awareness, but doesn’t have the official awareness ribbon. Sexist.

* Poor craftsmanship. Huge gap between the launcher & the bed of the truck. Shoddy, shoddy work, fellas!

* Wheels are attached by Phillips-head screws. The cross-shape of the slots has obvious [and OFFENSIVE!] Christian overtones.

* It’s pink, the official color of girls. Are you calling Soviet communists a bunch of girls just because they lost the Cold War like a bunch on young non-males who wear dresses and daisy-patterned underwear?

* It’s a Soviet-era rocket launcher, but it lacks any markings to identify it as communist, such as “CCCP” or “Forward.”

* Unlike real Soviet rockets, the ends of the wooden toy rockets aren’t honed to a fine point capable of putting a child’s eye out. How can we teach our children to blink in the presence of incoming eyeball-targeted projectiles if there are no real-world consequences?

* All the edges and corners are rounded off. Much like eyeball-targeted pointy projectiles, splinters encourage character, wisdom, and prudence.

* It’s made from the same wood as Gibson guitars.

* 3am barefoot-parent bathroom-in-the-dark toe-stubbing hazard.

* Patently deceptive, yet extremely cool, atomic mushroom-cloud on the box the toy comes in. The missiles that come with the toy are only designed to air-burst, which creates a spherical explosion.
_______________

Yeah, it’s a piece of junk.

Stick with Buckyballs.

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9 Comments

  1. It’s pink, the official color of breast-cancer awareness, but doesn’t have the official awareness ribbon. Sexist.

    It’s pink AND it shoots phallic symbols. Very confusing. (See also Operation Petticoat)

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