Straight Line of the Day: Obama Is More Useless Than…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Obama is more useless than…
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(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Send to Kindle (3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
March 18th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
…than a warning label on a nuclear warhead.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:05 pm
…than Joe Biden with a shotgun
March 18th, 2013 at 12:05 pm
…than a trillion dollar coin.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:07 pm
…than a Jedi mind meld trick.
…than Jar Jar Binks
March 18th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
…than a smiley face button on a honey badger.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
… than Joe Biden. Biden is, at least, good for a few laughs.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:09 pm
… than checking John Boehner’s testosterone levels.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:11 pm
T!ts on a bull
March 18th, 2013 at 12:11 pm
…than D). All Of The Above.
(please place this comment at the bottom)
March 18th, 2013 at 12:11 pm
…than a surprise party for Grumpy Cat.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:13 pm
…than a case of birth control pills at a monestary.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:13 pm
… than Holder investigating actual vote fraud and intimidation.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:14 pm
…than sending Rodman to meet with Kim Jong Un
March 18th, 2013 at 12:17 pm
… than a snake-charmer in Ireland.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:17 pm
…than a Monty Python reference in a reference to an audience of teenagers.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:19 pm
…than a wookie at a pacifist meeting
March 18th, 2013 at 12:20 pm
::ack:: gotta stop letting myself get iterrupted while posting. Make that “…than a Monty Python refrence to an audience of teenagers.” Of course, the typo described something plenty useless on its own…
March 18th, 2013 at 12:20 pm
…than a giant wooden badger.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:21 pm
…than a congressional ethics policy.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:25 pm
…than a screen door on a submarine.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:27 pm
…a teachers union
…than that thing you left in your other pants
March 18th, 2013 at 12:28 pm
…than a depilatory in Michelle’s medicine chest.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
…than a size six dress for Michelle.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:30 pm
… than a pop-culture reference to the GOP.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:31 pm
…than Aquaman.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:33 pm
…Joe Biden.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:39 pm
…than braile instructions on a drive-up ATM.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:39 pm
White out on an unprinted word document
March 18th, 2013 at 12:40 pm
…he wants to make the Bill of Rights.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:41 pm
Solyndra
debbie wasserman-shultz
March 18th, 2013 at 12:43 pm
……Hugo Chavez’ corpse.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:43 pm
…than a yo-yo for a midget.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:46 pm
…Pauly Shore explaining intellectual property laws to Carlos Mencia.
March 18th, 2013 at 12:55 pm
…a condom in Rosie O’Donnell’s man bag.
March 18th, 2013 at 1:00 pm
@ 33 Bunkerhillbilly says:
March 18th, 2013 at 12:46 pm
Bravo, sir. Not everybody can fit “Pauly Shore” and “intellectual” into a sentence without the word “not”.
March 18th, 2013 at 1:05 pm
…than a bow at an osteoporosis clinic.
March 18th, 2013 at 1:08 pm
Seafit @8: The word is “teats,” and it’s usually followed by “boar hog” as in we wish President Obama were as useless as teats on a boar hog in Saudi Arabia; but, alas, he’s some negative number of uselessness denoting his ability to be destructive such: President Obama is as useless as a tobacco worm.
March 18th, 2013 at 1:13 pm
…than proof of citizenship being required for Presidential candidates.
March 18th, 2013 at 1:14 pm
@Apostic #5 – gotta love a honey badger punchline
March 18th, 2013 at 1:14 pm
….than a race car with square wheels.
March 18th, 2013 at 1:29 pm
… than a “Just Say No” anti-drug leaflet at a Pink Floyd concert.
March 18th, 2013 at 1:31 pm
…than a “this project paid for by the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act” road sign
March 18th, 2013 at 1:31 pm
states 51-57 on the obama campaign tour
March 18th, 2013 at 1:35 pm
. . . a class from Nancy Pelosi on how to achieve that fresh, natural look
. . . an AP statement on journalistic ethics
. . . Ron Paul’s class on people skills
. . . suggestions from John Kerry on how to relate to the “common man”
. . . Hillary Clinton’s charm school
March 18th, 2013 at 1:36 pm
Obama is more useless than… …an extra ellipsis…
March 18th, 2013 at 1:38 pm
A pool table at a strip club
A football bat
March 18th, 2013 at 1:40 pm
…a new excuse, since he can always blame Bush.
March 18th, 2013 at 1:47 pm
… Nancy Pelosi’s plastic surgeon.
… Michael Mann’s work on Global Warming.
… Dan Rather’s fact checkers.
However, in Obama’s defense he isn’t as useless as the people who voted for him.
March 18th, 2013 at 1:49 pm
…everything. I cannot thing of one thing in this universe that is more useless than Obama.
March 18th, 2013 at 2:11 pm
Female European armpit hair
March 18th, 2013 at 2:12 pm
… than a TSA patdown. At least all they want to do is grope you on the first date.
March 18th, 2013 at 2:19 pm
… the French.
March 18th, 2013 at 2:23 pm
than Barney Frank at a bachelor party.
March 18th, 2013 at 2:32 pm
… than… than…. than……. Crap, sorry, nothing comes to mind.
March 18th, 2013 at 2:36 pm
Than tits on a submarine…Than a screen door on a boar…..
March 18th, 2013 at 2:53 pm
…than…well…Obama.
March 18th, 2013 at 2:57 pm
…makeup on a feminist.
…soap in an Occupy camp.
…an idea from Sheila Jackson Lee.
…expecting intelligent discourse from Nancy Pelosi.
…the Constitution is to him.
March 18th, 2013 at 2:58 pm
…a copy of the Constitution at a democrat convention.
March 18th, 2013 at 3:16 pm
…a left-handed first baseman shooting a three-pointer from the 50 yard line using an unstrung tennis racket.
March 18th, 2013 at 3:17 pm
…the restraining order that Pekingese asked for.
…Michelle’s Thigh Master, which is more useless than his Doesn’t Really Have Thighs Per Se To Master Master.
…using the excuse of an expanding universe to account for Michelle’s body shape issues.
…the 2nd Amendment, which he can’t find a single reason for no matter how hard he tries.
…America’s puny attempts to defy his will, just you wait and see, cracker. Wait, is this a trick question?
…than the toe jam he awarded to Oscar Pistorius for his gun control support.
March 18th, 2013 at 3:30 pm
…democrats offering advice to women if they ever get raped.
…beauty tips from Helen Thomas.
…Joe Biden sitting in the corner of the Oval Office.
March 18th, 2013 at 3:31 pm
… Michael Moore(on)’s third chin.
…a bag of salt to the thirsty.
March 18th, 2013 at 3:36 pm
…than the punch line of this joke.
March 18th, 2013 at 3:41 pm
…NASA muslim outreach project
March 18th, 2013 at 3:42 pm
62. Writer says:
March 18th, 2013 at 3:31 pm
…
…a bag of salt to the thirsty.
Wow! Kudos.
March 18th, 2013 at 3:42 pm
…a boot full of cold Alpo.
March 18th, 2013 at 3:42 pm
…the lettuce and tomato in a BLT
March 18th, 2013 at 4:03 pm
… a football to a horny monkey
… a binder full of women
… a job to a Democrat
… a garden variety slap across the face at a violence against women rally
March 18th, 2013 at 4:05 pm
… a bag of smashed a$$holes
March 18th, 2013 at 4:06 pm
@ 55 Bruce In KC says:
March 18th, 2013 at 2:36 pm
Love the mixed memes, but, uh, regarding that first one: I think a sub full of sailors cut off from the real world for months a time could find a use for…
March 18th, 2013 at 4:17 pm
…Hugo Chavez calling for ice water redistribution, pronto! And save a glass for Obama, por favor.
…Hillary Clinton on a submarine full of horny men.
March 18th, 2013 at 4:17 pm
… as a gun-free zone
March 18th, 2013 at 4:20 pm
…the high hopes of a Sandra Fluke bound sperm.
…rubber bacon.
March 18th, 2013 at 4:22 pm
… navel lint.
March 18th, 2013 at 4:25 pm
than zero divided by zero.
March 18th, 2013 at 5:20 pm
…than all the crap i learned in high school.
March 18th, 2013 at 5:28 pm
A solar-powered mine cart.
March 18th, 2013 at 5:30 pm
@Apostic #70, in ref to 55. There’d be seamen all over it.
March 18th, 2013 at 5:37 pm
… a deodorant shop in France
… the other guy in Wham
… a 15th dimension
… Art Garfunkel
… a microphone at a Milli Vanilli concert
… a microphone atban Obama
March 18th, 2013 at 5:39 pm
… a deodorant shop in France
… the other guy in Wham
… a 15th dimension
… Art Garfunkel
… a microphone at a Milli Vanilli concert
… a microphone at an Obama inauguration (if you must have a more updated version)
… pogs
March 18th, 2013 at 8:00 pm
… a stuffed animal in a Schrödinger box.
… a voting machine in Chicago.
March 18th, 2013 at 8:08 pm
… a Nigerian spam filter.
… Chinese antivirus.
… or that Bulgarian identity theft protection I just signed up for.
March 18th, 2013 at 8:25 pm
…a pet rock.
March 18th, 2013 at 8:29 pm
… a speech at the U.N.
… a Nobel Peace Prize. [Warning!! This gets into an endless loop of circular logic!]
March 18th, 2013 at 9:02 pm
… a Realdoll modeled after Janet Reno
… an immigration agent in California
… a muffler on a Harley
.. instructions on a box of toothpicks
… a Republican vote in California
… a fart in a hurricane
… skinny jeans in an MC Hammer video
March 18th, 2013 at 9:15 pm
…a vagina at Man’s Country Bathhouse.
… a salad on Mooch’s dinner table.
March 18th, 2013 at 10:10 pm
the league of nations…
March 18th, 2013 at 10:21 pm
anything … everything
March 18th, 2013 at 10:31 pm
. . . more useless than a sense of shame to a liberal.
. . . more useless than math to a Democrat.
. . . more useless than the work ethic to a union member.
March 18th, 2013 at 10:44 pm
A urinal in the men’s room at a DNC convention.
March 18th, 2013 at 11:03 pm
Than the dried snot with nose hair I scraped out of my nose
March 18th, 2013 at 11:06 pm
…the third button on my garage door opener.
March 18th, 2013 at 11:10 pm
blister puss
March 18th, 2013 at 11:11 pm
Those brown rings in my toilet bowl
March 18th, 2013 at 11:13 pm
V.D
March 18th, 2013 at 11:15 pm
The rotting meat that gets caught under my bridge work
March 18th, 2013 at 11:17 pm
A severe case of crotch crickets
March 18th, 2013 at 11:21 pm
That yellow stain on my pillow that smells like cat urine
March 18th, 2013 at 11:25 pm
The blackish ring with chunks of decaying flesh I leave in my tub after my bath
March 18th, 2013 at 11:33 pm
a chili and beer fart during Sunday mass
March 18th, 2013 at 11:49 pm
Barack Obama is more useless than Barry Sortero.
March 19th, 2013 at 4:50 am
Than the transvestite wearing an Asian hair wighat he’s married to.
March 19th, 2013 at 7:58 am
than the paper his “birth certificate” is written on.
March 19th, 2013 at 10:10 am
X-lax in a diarrhea ward
March 19th, 2013 at 10:34 am
A really useless thing that is more useless than something really useless.
A dried up condom that has been in your wallet for a year and a half. (Trust me on that)
March 19th, 2013 at 2:40 pm
…an unplugged teleprompter.
March 19th, 2013 at 3:22 pm
…a promise from Obama.
…Hillary’s thong wrench.
…putting lipstick on Chelsea and pretending I’m kissing my cousin.
…the lubricant he thought was slipperier than he is.
…using his ears evidence that he really is human and of this earth.
March 19th, 2013 at 5:29 pm
99 % of ALL useless Americans who don’t have a clue as to what’s going on not only here in America but around the world.
March 20th, 2013 at 7:46 am
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