President Bush will be meeting with Jacques Chirac today for the first time since the war, so I have some tips for him about the meeting:
* Start by working the body. You’ll want to start slow, which means a series of punches to his gut.
* Use object in the room around you. This doesn’t just mean to pick up those objects and break them over Chirac, put to also use Chriac’s head to break objects that are too big to pick up.
* Make sure to build up some momentum before smashing his head into the wall. You’ll need some good momentum to leave a nice impression in the drywall.
* Avoid the sleeper hold. It’s pointless if he’s unconscious.
* Remember your joints. Joints such as your knee and elbow make great blunt weapons. Don’t forget to use them.
* Use your body weight. Eventually it will become tiresome to keep propping Chirac up. Then you may want to do some elbow drops on him.
* When he is down, Texas Two-Step. Like I have to remind you.
* This isn’t boxing; all blows are legal. Some may say it’s unsporting to go for the groin, but I say it makes a nice finale after you’ve thoroughly beaten him through other means.
In the end, diplomacy is a fluid thing, and you really have to read the other party and adjust your strategy according. Just don’t be afraid to be creative. Godspeed, Mr. President.
What kind of wussy advice is that? Either:
* Heel of the palm to the bridge of the nose- sending shards of cartilige into his brain, killing him immediately.
* Nuke France before he lands. (Might want to give a warning shout-out to Blair first.)
* Black Project Insano
Don’t call me a wuss.
You still don’t even know what Black Project Insano is.
I assumed it was an anagram of bad poetry about switching internet service but getting customer retention calls.
“Soon I pack. Object AOL.”
Kill him immediately? Why would anyone want to do that?
Frank I’m surprised at you. As an EE myself the first thing I usually think of for injuring another person is the business end of a 100A generator attached to the gonads. Electro-nut-shock therapy is where it’s at.
Frank, thats good GENERAL advice but I agree about the electro-nut-shock therapy…Chirac NEEDS somthing to make him feel like a man.
OT but important: Kevin still needs money!
http://www.chinpokomon.com/
Dissappointed Frank –
absolutely no mention whatsoever of ball peen hammers on fingers and toes in an attempt to play ‘Jingle Bells’
ow ow ow, ow ow ow, ow ow, ow, ow ow
and so on
Some Good Advice
Frank at IMAO has some fine tips for President Bush on his upcoming meeting with French President Jacques Chirac. I disagree only on the opening, which should be the classic Moe Howard “grip opponents nose with left hand, slam right…
Might also want to mention that locking the conference room door is a good idea… it would be annoying to have constant interruptions from Chiraq’s bodyguards.
I think he should bring Rummy along, strapped with a blow torch and a pair of pliers
I think the Prez should so him one of the freedoms that Americans have… the right of the people to keep and bear Arms. So George, pull out that Colt model 1911 and show him how a real american shoots
President Bush: Monsieur Chirac? Let me introduce a young friend of mine, Buck the Marine. Buck, this is Monsieur Chirac, the President of France.
Buck the Marine: Then he’s a foreigner, isn’t he?
President Bush: (Smiling as he turns on his camcorder) That’s right, Buck…..
OK, first off, that whole heel-to-the-nose is an old wive’s tale. It doesn’t actually work. I think that what President Bush needs to do is a little homework, provided by the U.S. Army (that’s right, I said ARMY, not Marines! Although I still dig Buck). If someone could get him to this site, it would be much appreciated. http://www.cavalrypilot.com/walltowall/
Keep and bear arms? I agree: Jacques Chirac’s arms would make good trophies, and you know they’ll be rock hard, since he has to raise them so often to surrender.
Just been revoked
Frank J. has diplomatic tips for meeting with Jacques Chirac….
You’re forgetting one very important point here: Chirac is french.
Bush just needs to bring SOAP.
ha ha ha damn french guy
slight problem with the electro-shock idea; everyone knows the french have no balls.(obvious shot, but I had to take it)
I say negotiate, conciliate, bargain, give and take, always compromise – continuously for 24 hours (36 tops).
If you have not gotten EVERYTHING you wanted, NUKE the bastards! Next Case … let’s keep’em moving!
WWF Smackdown in Watertown!
The Évian summit. Bush and Chirac, in the same room at the same time… this is gonna be fun.The ever-helpful Frank over at IMAO has some great tips for the President as he goes into what must be a very sensitive negotiation. A couple of my favorites:*…