Dave F from Burlington, CT writes:
Frank, I heard that California is planning to issue drivers license’s to illegal aliens. Why would a monster who flies a spaceship need a license?
Because speeding down the highway is cool, dude. If you’ve every flown a spaceship, it big and unwieldy, I tell ya, while a Corvette is sleek, yo. And an alien is already in enough trouble being chased by men in black; last thing he needs is to be put in jail for driving illegally.
Tim from Seoul Korea writes:
If, as according to popular scientific theory, the universe is curved on itself – have you ever worried that you are so far right that you may actually end up on the left?
That’s crazy talk. I could never be liberal, no matter what the circumstances. Once, a scientist told me that in some parallel universe there would be a liberal Frank J., and I beat him. And I mean severely. He won’t walk again. So who won that scientific debate? That’s right; score one for the Frankster.
Now no more talking about this.
Pam from Ohio writes:
Who is Pedro and why is he calling me?
PS His calls started the same day I started reading IMAO…mmmm
We don’t talk about Pedro. Next question.
Pedro asks:
About that female Hamas terrorist who recently murdered four Israelis, was she a lesbian? Will she get those 72 virgins?
Oh yeah; 73 women making out for eternity. Now there’s a heaven, heh heh.
…wait, I mean that’s deviant and wrong. I’m a good Catholic boy. Stop putting thought like this in my head.
M. McClain (MAJ Mike) from San Antonio writes:
Question – 9mm or cal. 45 ACP? Beretta or M1911A1?
I’m e-mailing from deep cover at my high school while my students are
taking a Geography test.
Good use of your time, sir… except the answer to that question should be pretty obvious to my avid readers. Maybe this graphic sent in by a reader can clear up things.
Ruth in NC asks:
Are you a ninja or a pirate?
I am a samurai, and I fight with honor, my sword of justice striking down both pirate and ninja. Duh.
Elliot Temple from Berkeley, California asks:
Is evolution true? Does evolution really say my great grandfather was
a monkey?
No! It is a lie spread by monkey kind in a ploy to keep us from killing them. We actually evolved from the kangaroo, and that’s why there is a pouch on your stomach. Just trust me about the pouch and don’t look.
T.J. from Melbourne, FL writes:
President Bush has recently proposed plans to bring Americans back to the moon. How are we going to nuke the moon if Americans are going to be on it?
It’s just a matter of timing; don’t nuke the moon while Americans are there (but maybe while Chinese are). Also, maybe nuke the other side so as to not radiate our astronauts.
But we’re not talking about Nuke the Moon anymore; we’re talking about terrorists. So buy my new t-shirt.
NOW!
Please keep the questions coming, <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMace you’re from, I’ll randomly select one.
FIRST!
OT, check out Google…. it’s been taken over by Chinese New Year’s monkeys!
Would putting a nuclear power plant on the moon to support a colony count somehow as nuking it? Then we could have the best of both worlds…
Or you might just have to pick out a new target… “Nuke Io! (No one will notice)”
OK, I would agree that a 9mm doesn’t have much in the way of stopping power (but I am told it hurts like hell and can actually kill you). But what about my .40 cal S&W? Does that make me a metrosexual gun enthusiast?
I hope not.
Well, that could explain the “innie” belly buttons.
“Outies”, OTOH… those people must be space aliens.
Mike,
I saw it. No need to mention it.
Sleeper,
.40 is a decent caliber. A metrosexual would be someone who uses a 9mm but doesn’t feel any lesser a man… even though he is.
Sleeper, your .40 Short and Weak does in fact make you a metrosexual gun enthusiast. I’m so, so sorry. My advice to you is to buy a quality 1911-style .45 ACP right now. Kimber, Springfield Armory, it doesn’t matter. What does matter, is that us gun-enthusiasts stick to a REAL cartrige.
Liberal Frank J. = Bizzaro Frank J.
The female hamas agent will get forty-two virgins. However, since it supposed to be hell for her, they will be virgin guys who have no idea what to do with her and have no staying power.
That graphic for the .45 ACP is one of the funniest things on IMAO. It would be the funniest if Chomps didn’t exist.
And who is Pedro?
And didn’t someone already ask that illegal aliens question?
Frank, this is totally off topic… but you’ve inspired me to drop the bucks for a new Paul Chen Zatochi sword…. if you come to Texas some time, we’ll duel!
I have to agree with Frank about the 9mm vs. the .45 ACP. I’ve shot both, and I do have to say the there are few things more fun that .45 Glazer Safety Slugs for soft targets… well, Ranger Talons are fun, but illegal. That image of the .45 magazine was hilarious. Now, what would I be if I decided to go with .45, but like an H&K Mk 23?
Just bought an H&K USP Compact in .45 ACP. Right out of the box, it is one of the sweetest shooting guns I have ever owned. Those wacky Germans my be timid about going to Iraq, but they can build some ordnance.
Hey Brass, remember that it’s just a rumor that the Germans know anything about weapons. Never in their history have they had anything to do with war like stuff. They are the most gentle people to ever have investments in french companies with investments in Iraq.
Also remember that the 3rd Reich had to dehumanize the Jews in order to turn the population against them. All we need is a target and we shoot to kill. Take Iraq (twice), Germany, Japan, Nicaragua, Panama, Italy and the Bosnians. The presidents just said, “Shoot them!” so we did. There aren’t any pansies in America.
lol. sounds good.
If God wanted us to carry Glocks or H&Ks he would have had John Moses Browning design them. And they’d be single-stack, single-action, and made out of steel!
So the aliens are being chased by men and black? Men chasing aliens, that I can understand. But the thought of aliens being chased by a colour (or the complete absence of colour) gives me the jubblies.
Burn in hell! That’s right; you’ve angered the gods (namely me).
“Also remember that the 3rd Reich had to dehumanize the Jews in order to turn the population against them.”
So what you’re saying is that the Nazis were in league with the monkeys?
The .40 S&W is only for market driven drones who don’t know enough of their own nation’s glorious history to realize they’re shooting a .38-40.
“If it doesn’t have anything for your thumb to do, it’s not a real handgun…”
Well, I used to have a .45, and not a pansy ass goofy single stack – I had the PARAORDNANCE – double stack 13 with one in the pipe – YEAH!!! Then… Then I got a .50, and now I can blow holes in Frank J, his goofy little sword, AND his .45 – big enough that Howard Dean could walk through. Well, at least his dead kitten, anyway. COME ON FRANK – you have got to get some bigger gonads to be a right winger.
DAMMIT…I CARRY A BERETTA ELITE 2 IN 9MM…IF YOU HONESTLY FEEL THAT 9MM IS A WEAK CARTRIDGE…STAND IN FRONT OF ME, AND LET ME DUMP AN ENTIRE MAG INTO YOU…ANY TAKERS???
9MM BULLET PERFORMANCE HAS MADE GIANT LEAPS. THE ROUND I CHOOSE TO USE IS THE 127 GR. +P+ RANGER SXT. IT HAS MORE ENERGY (471 LBS.) THAN THE INFAMOUS 230 GR. HYDRA SHOK, RANGER SXT, GOLDOTS IN THE .45ACP.
THAT SAID WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT, I CARRY A PARA*ORDNANCE 7.45LDA LOADED WITH 200 GR. +P GOLDOTS BECAUSE IT IS THE MOST POTENT OF THE .45ACP CARTRIDGES. AND THAT INFO COMES FROM CORONER REPORTS
I ALSO CARRY A SIG SAUER 226 IN EITHER .40S7W OR .357SIG…IT JUST DEPENDS ON MY MOOD
RIGHT NOW I AM IN A GOOD MOOD
OOPS…THAT WOULD BE .40S&W…SORRY
The question is: While you are busily popping off caps at me, and possibly hitting me, will they drop men before I put ONE .50 cal in you??? That’s what I think about, because lets face it, if some doped up and violent liberal attacks me with a an illegal hand gun that he wants legislation to outlaw. I want to be sure my cartridge cuts through he or she’s (see how PC I am) drug induced mania and drops them right there… Now let me ask you, which round is more likely to do that with fewer hits… Mine or yours 🙂
Besides, don’t you think that a pillar of the right wing media like Frank should just look more manly and have a BIG freakin handgun instead of a steak knife?
Honestly folks, it doesn’t matter the size of the gun you use. Shot placement is all that matters. Col. Jeff Cooper has always said, ” A hit with a .22 is better than a miss with a .44.” Thats the truth.
Recently, here in Texas, there was a shootout between 2 deputies in a small county. They were using Colt XSE 1911’s. The man they were firing at was in the cab of his truck. They never hit him. A state trooper (DPS) arrived as back up. He carried a Sig-226 in .357sig. He fired 2 shots into the door of the pickup and killed the bad guy.
Those .45acp cartridges never pierced the truck door. The .357sig did. For those of you that dont know, the .357 magnum and the .357sig rouds are all 9mm in diameter, basically.
You are completely missing the point, you redneck! Let me bullet point it for you: Frank J. – Right Wing Pillar – Big F’N Gun. What don’t you understand???
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