I don’t know if I believe all this superstition stuff, but if I smash a mirror over a hippy’s head, who gets the bad luck?
UPDATE: Does it change anything if you threw the hippy into the mirror and thus never had contact with the mirror yourself (but, unfortunately, the hippy)?
And does smashing a one-way mirror only give you three and half years bad luck? And does it matter if you smash the window side or the mirror side?
First? FIRST!
Definitely the Hippie…
Once, when I lived in Hell…er, Utah, a neighbor started her car on a cold morning (could have been a Friday 13th, but was more likely a Monday) only to find that the black cat that had been cuddling with her warm engine block that night had shot all remaining 7 lives (not to mention its entrails) around the fan belt pulleys, through the fan and all over the engine compartment. While having to steam-clean cat remains off your engine is no way to start your day, I believe it was the cat who won the Bad-Luck Blue Ribbon that morning.
Oh, and first…
Damn! Almost…
I swear to God I’m getting tired of this first crap…
Technically speaking, it would have been the Hippie’s head that broke the mirror, therefore, definitely the Hippie.
Oh, and FIFTH!
Double bad luck – for the hippie (but only if you aren’t holding it when you bash them with it). The hippie’s negative smell will multiply any bad luck effect of the mirror-breaking. For even more bad luck for the hippie, make a hippie trap Put some hippie bait under a ladder, then drop a mirror on them while they’re enjoying the bait under the ladder. The bigger the mirror, the better. Just make sure you hit them. You don’t want the bad luck!
DAMN! Thanks for alerting me that it is Friday the 13th. I’m not really sure about breaking the mirror over a hippy’s head today….hmmmmm…..I don’t have enough mirrors to go do a good test, either, not being narcissistic. Now if I can just find a screwdriver, I’ll take the medicine cabinets off the wall and go do some checkin’.
Crap. This is a small rural southern town. The hippies done went to teaching humanities at a University long ago or mysteriously became extinct.
The trick is to launch the mirrors at the hippies. At that point you haven’t done any breaking. The only breaking would be associated with the hippies thus giving them the bad luck.
Since launching is a less reliable way of hitting anybody with a mirrot, remember to use lots of smalled mirrors. I recommend cutting (not breaking) the mirror into lots of tiny mirrors that can be fit into a shotgun shell.
That’s a damn shame, People be throwin’ ‘way a perfectly good mirrot like dat.
Sorry folks, but it’s wishful thinking to believe that the bad luck would be transfered to the hippie if you broke a mirror over his head. That’s like saying the bad luck would go into the floor if you dropped a mirror. Sorry, that’s not the way it works … the laws of physics say that bad luck is conserved in the body responsible for the mirror-breaking, not the instrument of the breaking. And we all know you can’t argue with physics.
So the real problem facing Frank here is is the hippie in question worth sucking up 7 years of bad luck for? If you could clobber, say, Noam Chomsky or Michael Moore with the mirror then I’d say go for it … that’d be woth 7 years of stubbed toes and broken coffee mugs. But if you can only get an average, run-of-the-mill hippie with your mirror then I’d reccommend you just scare him off with some soap, deodorant, or the threat of an honest day’s work.
S
It hasn’t been conclusively studied yet, so I’d strongly suggest that somebody does.
Of course, for the study to have any meaning, we’d have to have a statistically significant number of test subjects. I’d suggest that we start off with some 25,000 or so, just to be on the safe side.
Oops… Sandor brings up a good point, worthy of further study.
I’d suggest that you try breaking an additional 25,000 mirrors by banging the heads of hippies against them, then compare the two groups to see where the bad luck tended to end up.
50,000 hippies being bashed in the head is a very good start!
I don’t see what every one is complaining about. For me this Friday the 13 is all about good luck and not bad. I am currently sitting in my office at work, and there is NOT A SINGLE PERSON HERE! Two people had meetings, Two people called in sick, and Two people have yet to show. So here I am sitting around drinking all the coffiee, eating all the donuts, compteplating currling up under my desk and takeing a nap.
What if you stole the hippies patchouly oil and threatened to break it if the hippy did not smash a mirror while one hand is behind your back with your fingers crossed?…then after the mirror is broken give the patchouly back and said you were just kidding?
Okay, we’ll solve this through scientifical analysis then: Misha will bash 25,000 mirrors into hippies. I’ll bash 25,000 hippies into mirrors. Frank will have to go down to the scieceatorium to procure a device that can measure where the bad luck goes (it should also be able to deliver a painful electric shock, because shocking hippies is funny).
We’ll need Buck and Chomps to round up 50,000 hippies for us. Or maybe they can just get Noam Chomsky and Michael Moore! Then we can bash Moore with 50,000 mirrors and bash Chomsky into 50,000 mirrors (sorry, Noam, but Michael is far too big to swing at a mirror properly) and then see who gets 350,000 years of bad luck.
Science is cool.
S
Oops, that should be 25,000 mirrors each for Moore and Chomsky. Not 50,000. There’s no need to be excessive.
S
After you say “first”, are you supposed to chant “nyah nyah nya naaa naaaa” or something along that line?
Just wondering….
Throwing the hippie in the mirror would transfer the seven years’ bad luck to the hippie; unfortunately, touching a hippie brings fourteen years’ bad luck.
With all these mirros being broken, will there be any left for Frank to admire himself in?
Damn that was a good nap, I am going to update all the office computers antivir/lanchat/spamguard. Hey if I book mark imao on all my co-workers computers do I get extray points, it’s about 13 computers.
I think Frank admires himself in steel mirrors, because glass mirrors are too fragile and wouldn’t survive the constant kung-fu fighting that goes on at his place.
S
Yes, Monster, you get extra points. What those points are for, I dunno.
Maybe instead of points, he should get extra mirrors
Well, now that we don’t have to worry about a mirror shortage…
I live in a motel paid for by the co I work for, and last summer I let two wayward hippies polish off a package of hotdogs and pototo chips… I even allowed them in my room. Do I need to repent by bashing myself over the head with a mirror? Or is there some other way?
Will someone please explain the “first” thing to me? I guess I don’t spend enough time commenting so i missed it…
Little help?
Will
It’s just about who posted first in the thread. It’s a contest between loyal IMAO readers to see who is mind-bogglingly cool enough to happen across Frank’s latest post before anyone else.
S
First, anyone who has direct contact with 25000 hippies has well beyond their capacity for bad luck. The person who gets to break 25000 mirrors on hippies is already experiencing good luck (if they don’t get any on them!)
As for William’s question:
Who ever is the first to respond to one of Frank’s posts notes that he or she was first by saying “first”. The primary function of this is to p*ss off Frank.
You’ll have to read Imao a little earlier tomorrow if you want your chance to annoy Frank.
But why annoy frank? When he fills our minds with such wonderful anti-liberal oooey gooey goodness? I vote to stop the first thing!
William
I did First! on an lgf post. Beat that.
Ok, I put IMAO and Nicedoggy on every computer in the office (including ones with password bwhahaha). I also fixed the air compressor useing an old 5.25 floppy disk to replace the diarpram thingy that broke. This is shapeing up to be a very good friday the 13th. I am going to order a large pizza for my self and the air compressor.
Last!!!
Failures!!! Only I may be last!!!!!
LAST!!!!!!!!
I could just shut down the comments…
Dammit, why are y’all takin’ my LAST place???
You can’t shut down the comments Frank, your NPD would not allow it. Besides I have got about 3 more hours of my glorious friday the 13th work day ahead of me, and I need to rub in the fact that while ever one suffers, I felt the need to take a nap under my desk, then ordered some pizza while simultatiously bringing up IMAO on every machine in the office to increase Franks blog count.
HA HA HA NOT LAST!!
…hey guys…
I didn’t write the following but I thought it was funny anyhow. Hope you like it!
Subject: Are you a Democrat?
Virtually anyone can be a Democrat. Just simply quit thinking and vote that way. But if you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are some prerequisites you must have first. Compare the reasons below and see how you rate.
1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth’s climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
9. You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians start wars.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem ar more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren’t.
16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried, is because Democrats haven’t been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House (from ’93 through 2000)!
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
21. You have to believe that Saddam Hussein did not know any terrorists.
22. You have to believe that every American should have free health care.
23. You have to believe that reciting the pledge of allegience is an establishment of religion.
24. You have to believe that there are “millions of starving children” in the United States.
25. You have to believe that everyone who doesn’t/can’t/won’t work should be paid.
Conclusion: Vote Democratic … It’s easier than getting a job.
Do you have a comment section for your blog on Frank’s comment section? Oh, er . . . uh . . . nev . . . never mind.
You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
for me thats a kicker… when I see a homosexual parade, I don’t like it, but I let it pass. When I put out my manger the same person gives me a hard time.
And to be a good hippie, you have to believe that all SUV owners support terrorists, but will ride in one if it means a trip to the store to get some booze (and the SUV owner buys the booze, cuz your a low-life piece of shit w/no job, no money and no home).
I don’t know about this Friday 13 stuff. My boss called and told me not to come in today, as ice may have made it difficult to drive. Of course, my boss is a sixty year old insane woman with tons of cats, but I still didn’t have to work today! I love Friday 13! Anyone know where I can find a black cat? And save some of those mirrors for me! or better yet, let me crack them over some hippies heads.
42nd! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
…Sorry.
oh it was a good day, I even did some over-time work bwahahahaha, I think I got about 5 hours of sleep total under my desk. A couple of things came in the mail I signed for them useing one of my other co-workers name.
This stuff is cazy!!!!