Been a little out of the loop lately on politics lately. Hopefully I should fix that soon, but, until then, why don’t I comment on something social instead of political.
I’d like to talk about reaction time. When there is a sudden occurrence, you don’t react immediately; instead there is a delay between when something happens and your brain realizes it and reacts. That’s reaction time.
Now, here’s a hypothetical: you’re going eighty miles per hour as is the car in front of you, but your only three feet behind that car. If the driver of the car in front of you has to hit his breaks, will you be able to react in time?
No… SO GET OFF MY ASS!
Some people do not understand this concept… and probably won’t even after the front of their car has been compacted like an accordion. These people are morons. Apparently, morons are in big hurries. Why, I don’t know; what kind of place could be in dire and immediate need of morons?
Hey, I’m all for going into the right lane and letting the guy behind me pass since fifteen miles over apparently isn’t enough for him, but sometime that isn’t possible or wouldn’t achieve anything.
Here’s some info that must be quite new to some people: just because I’m a decent distance behind the person in front of me doesn’t mean I’m going any slower. Actually, I’m matching the speed of that car, but, recognizing I have a “reaction time”, I keep a proper following distance. Apparently, though, when some people see a gap ahead of the car in front of him, he says to himself, “This car goes slow. Me pass. Me go fast.” And thus the driver precariously weaves in and out of the slower traffic in the right lane to get ahead of me, now going the exact same speed again but a few yards ahead of me in the line of cars. So, by risking his life and others and expending much gas in the acceleration, he’s knocked approximately 10ms off his commute time. Congratu-f**king-lations!
Even worse, though, is when I have some idiot within inches of my bumper as we’re both speeding on the highway, so I go into the right lane… AND HE DOESN’T GO ANY FASTER! Ends up he was driving that close not because he wanted to go any faster, but just because HE’S A RETARD! One of these days, I’m going to slam on my breaks and let my rear bumper collide with his empty skull.
Anyway, as we all know, cars have horns. They’re great for when someone cuts you off (though by the time I think of hitting the horn, the moment has past – again, reaction time). What America really needs is rear car horns. When someone is right up next to me, I want to blast him in the face with the loudest noise possible. Or hit him with an oil slick like with that car in Spy Hunter. It’s all good.
In conclusion: GET OFF MY ASS!
Thank you.
Now tell us how you really feel.
and um…first
Frank–those are the same guys that wait untill the solid white line at the end of the exit only lane to get out of it. How many big yellow signs saying ‘exit only’ does one need?
sleeper–things are the same way up here in Dallas–I just blame the jerks on the yankee invasion we’ve got going on up here.
Nothing makes me smile more than to see the dipshit that just passed me at light speed, sitting on the side of the road with a state police car parked behind him. Kind of makes my day. I want large weapons installed on my vehicle both front and rear, laser sites, flame throwers would be nice but I hate buying that much gas.
Yeah, kinda makes me wish I’d sprung for the Luxury Weapons Package when I bought my truck. We got the same jerkoffs here in Maryland too. They think they’re fighter jockies. Oblivions.
“what kind of place could be in dire and immediate need of morons?” excellent.
MMW, the difference between drivers in Ft. Worth & Dallas is amazing. drivers in both cities don’t drive so well (3 words: learn to merge!!), but whereas Dallas does have road rage problems because of said yankee invasion, at least west of 360, people drive stupidly but they’re nice and don’t cut you off the second you put on your blinker. it is getting worse over here, though.
my biggest pet peeve on the road are the drivers who KNOW they have to exit, but the line for the exit lane is too long, so they pass everyone in the exit lane then jump to the front of the line, or they drive down the shoulder to pass everyone because their destination is more important than yours.
Amen Brother!!!
That is one of my pet peeves. I live near Houston and it is a long drive to get anywhere. I drive A LOT and I can not stand idiots on the road. Get out of my way and stay off my ass!!!
Sarahk’s peeve is my second biggest. When people do this I do not budge an inch to let them in.. They can get in frickin line like the rest of us because it is usually jackasses like them that are causing the line in the first place!!!!
Well said Frank!
Although since I started working out of a home office my time in peak commuter traffic has been almost non-existent, many years ago in these situations I would tap the brake pedal lightly with my left foot (keeping the right foot firmly on the gas so as not to actually decelerate). The sight of brake lights coming on would usually cause a rapid (albeit brief) reaction in the tailgater.
I use my highbeams instead of my horn. They have a greater range.
Downshift, baby, downshift.
No brake lights, no warning. Just my rear bumber suddenly getting MUCH closer.
My biggest pet peeve is the people who inch up at the stop light when the car infront of them hasn’t moved.
And I used to just yank the e-brake on my p.o.s. 1985 nissan pulsar (first car) it would smoke the back tires causing panic in the tailgater…..
Come on down to the Eastren shore of Maryland. Most of us drive below the speed limit, use turn signials, and god forbid you ever get a flat tire you have to beat the people off with a stick who are tyring to help you.
If you live in a town with 3000 residents, and a 4 lane highway heading out of town in all four directions, you can usually avoid the dumbasses. But not everybody is as lucky as me.
A-freakin-men!!!
The problem I have here in CA is when you leave too much room in between cars someone from the slow lane always has to jump in front of you, and then decides to stay there for the duration of my drive home…going 60! They have 25 cars behind them but refuse to move over! If you finally have enough room to go around them on the right, they suddenly decide to speed up to 75. What’s up with that???
Boy I’ll tell you. I have been living in NC for over 10 years now, and either the drivers here are exceptionally sorry, or I just wasn’t paying attention to the stupid driving tactics of the Socialist state of California.
Anyway, here is what I hate:
1. If you are merging onto the highway/freeway.. HIT THE F**KING GAS, NOT THE BRAKES SFB! It’s called MERGE not sit on your ass and wait for rush hour to be over before re-engaging the hamster – er gas pedal.
2. When you are driving down the road, and see an aquaintance driving down the road coming towards you, and you wish to hold a conversation immeadiately… PULL OFF THE ROAD!! I MEAN COMPLETELY OFF THE ROAD!! In what corner of the galaxy is it ever alright to park ON THE ROAD? and yap all frickin’ day?
okay, me vent, me happy now. I’ll just leave you all with some words of advice. Just some rules I live by while out there driving..
Always practice good road courtesy – or as I like to call it – Good Vehicular Karma.. because I like to think that the courtesy I practice on the road comes back to me in the form of happy thinking more intelligent acting drivers.(I can dream can’t I?)
‘Course, I AM still muttering sh*t to these people while I am being nice if they don’t take the hint and frickin’ get in there already. But that’s just me.
“If the driver of the car in front of you has to hit his breaks…”
Ummm…how about “brakes”? Or, is the driver in front of you breaking something?
Amen.
Problem with horns is that in Iowa it tends to freak people out so they slam on their brakes. Not so good when they just cut you off.
sigh
ALL OF YOU AGREEING (WHICH I DO 99% OF THE TIME) WITH FRANK?: YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. IF THERE IS MORE THAN A CAR LENGTH BETWEEN CARS IN THE LEFT-HAND LANE, MORONS WHO CANNOT HANDLE THE LEFT-HAND LANE WILL GET IN. THEY WILL THEN LET IN LIKE-MINDLESS MORONS WHO CAN’T HANDLE IT AND NOW MORE MORONS ARE IN. AND SO ON AND SO ON (INCLUDING EFFING DELIVERY TRUCKS: WHO LETS IN DELIVERY TRUCKS!?! DAMN. THAT WILL HELP US ALL GET TO WORK FASTER, RIGHT?) SO NOW, I’M EFFECTIVELY TRAVELLING BACKWARDS: I WAS WAY UP THERE BUT NOW TO SOME IDJIT LETTER-INNER I’M A MILE BACK. IF YOU WANT TO BE A NICE LETTER-INNER GET IN THE RIGHT EFFING LANE – THERE’S MORONS TRYING TO MERGE AT 20MPH WHO’D APPRECIATE IT, NOT TO MENTION THAT YEAH YOU’RE BEING NICE TO THE GUY (YOU ARE SPECIAL) – BUT YOU’RE SCREWING HUNDREDS BEHIND YOU MORON! WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF US?! TRAFFIC IS CAUSED (MOSTLY BY THE LETTER-INNERS NOT BEING IN THE CORRECT LANE) BUT, ALSO FROM TOO MANY CARS BEING ON THE ROAD AT ONCE. I HAVE A DUTY AS HARDWORKING, CONSCIENTIOUS(SP?) AMERICAN TO GET OFF THE HIGHWAY A.S.A.P. IF SOMEONE BEHIND YOU WANTS TO GOT FASTER, GET IN THE RIGHT LANE AND LET THEM PASS. NOT POSSIBLE? THEN DON’T GET YOUR DRESS OVER YOUR HEAD JUST DRIVE YOUR CAR. DRIVE YOUR CAR! WHO DECIDES TO HIT THEIR BRAKES (OR DOWNSHIFT BABY)AT 80 MPH ON THE EFFIN HWY?! DRIVE YOUR CAR! DON’T LOOK AT ME: DRIVE YOUR CAR! YOU CANNOT CONTROL THE PEOPLE BEHIND YOU, AS A DRIVER YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, AND (SAY IT WITH ME) DRIVE YOUR CAR!
People who drive Dodge Rams and Ford 250s. I f***ing hate you! The reason. The grills of these vehicles are designed to look aggressive and menacing in the rearview mirrors of other drivers. Especially when you come flying up behind my ass when I have no where to go. What kind of horrible human being buys a vehicle whose sole purpose is to piss off other drivers. I drive an SUV, so it’s not like I have something against SUVs.
People who drive Dodge Rams and Ford 250s. I f***ing hate you! The reason. The grills of these vehicles are designed to look aggressive and menacing in the rearview mirrors of other drivers. Especially when you come flying up behind my ass when I have no where to go. What kind of horrible human being buys a vehicle whose sole purpose is to piss off other drivers. I drive an SUV, so it’s not like I have something against SUVs.
MIKE,
Dude, lay off your capslock.
Are you saying the answer is for everyone to drive at high speeds within feet of each other to keep anyone else from getting in the left lane?
Which one of us is the problem…
My car has a smoke screen, like spyhunter. Oh wait, its a diesel. At least I get 43 mpg.
Just hit your window washer fluid when someone gets on your ass 🙂
This is why I am getting a beater car and welding large spikes to the rear bumper. If anyone complains its not safe, I’ll call it art and they’ll have to leave me alone.
Here in Northern Indiana, I drive the speed limit, all the time, in every venue, even in the school zones, mostly because of the police officers who seem to be all along my way into work everyday. The only time I accelerate beyond the speed limit is when I need to pass others, as I don’t want to cause an accident, and I try not to be a burden to the left laners on the highway. My ideal condition is to drive the speed limit in the right lane, or in the middle lane when there is more than 2 lanes.
Just yesterday, on the way to work, I had a newer Pontiac Sunfire come right up behind me, (I was going 40 in a 40 – heaven forbid) going about 60 or so, and she was so close to me (tailgating), I could not even see her hood from the rearview mirror of my Chevy Tahoe. When I can’t see headlights on a vehicle, I think they are tailgating, much less their hood!!
Approaching my next to last turn, I had to flash my brakes continuously to get her to back up a little. I made the turn, she was still right on my rear end, so I punched the V-8, and got up to 65 before my turn into work, so she could not get that close again. She almost caught up to me too. I was so upset that I had to sit in the parking lot at work for a few moments to cool down.
I am not a perfect driver, but I try hard to follow the traffic laws, and try to be courteous to other drivers, as much as I can. I really wish people would not drive so fast and dangerously, especially the tailgating part. Please either pass me, or keep a proper distance, until there is time to pass me. I might be passing a slower driver, and I have as much right to be in the left lane, as it is designated for passing, the right lane is for driving.
At least the driving around here is 1,000% better than in the greater Detroit area, where I lived for a few years. I don’t miss it a bit.
Ah Dude, Not Bob guy,
A-Frickin’-men!
Except since I live in the south, and those evil commie ‘Venison on the Hoof’ have it in for my husband..(he’s had two per each car he has owned since I’ve known him target his vehicles when he is alone) I would have to add the specialty bumper to the front too…
Finlay, old friend, I drive a RAM 3500 Dually and you are exactly why I bought this diesel sucking huge monster. Well I got tricked the damn thing gets 22 miles to the gallon and now diesel is cheaper than gas again. I love to fly up behind guys driving a Honda Civic who are talking on their cell phone and drinking coffee doing 50 miles and hour in the left hand lane of an interstate highway. I honk my horn just before I crush there cars into useless Jap junk on the highway.. Much love brother..
I totally agree with you Frank. The drivers in Texas are generally aggressive… but if I cant see the persons damned headlights in the rearview of my Tahoe…. I brake check their ass. Slam on the breaks, and make them shit the pants (or hit my car). You see, if you rearend someone in Texas, it is always your fault… no matter what the occurance.
Bad drivers (and slow walkers who take up the entire sidewalk, if you’re a pedestrian)are one of the plagues on society. What really bothers me is on a particular road I take to get home, three lanes merge into one, and people frequently decide that, even though it’s only one lane, since the road is wide they can just drive along the shoulder to get ahead of the line and butt in when they run out of space a hundred feet down. I want the power to revoke drivers licenses as I see fit.
Currently my biggest pet peave is people who make left turns at red lights. I live in the burbs of NYC (pity me) and people are CONSTANTLY doing this. If you’re in the middle of the intesection waiting for an opening to make your left, and the light turns red… That’s fine. go ahead and turn. You can’t just sit in the middle of the intersection after all. Those are the rules of the road.
But when the person behind you ALOS turns. And the person behind them. And the person behind THEM.. So half a dozen cars are making a left on what has been a red light for quite some time… Well, let’s just say I’m pondering rigging some Ruger 10-22s to the undercarriage of my car.
sleeper,
The breaking that causes accidents is usually emergency breaking. It’s always idiotic to drive close when going high speeds.
Frank, you’re right, and not just because of the aggrivation from guys like MIKE TROMBLY. It takes about 1.25 seconds to react to an emergency and brake/downshift/decellerate. When you’re doing 80 in the fast lane (common in poky, laid-back San Antonio), you cover about 147 feet in that time. This year I’ve already had to dodge (1) a bouncing claw hammer and (2) a flying sheet of plywood, each exiting unexpectedly from the back of some bohunk’s truck. When guys like MIKEy come roaring up behind me, I’ll gladly move over and let them catch all the crap.
They must have government jobs. Who else would need so many morons so urgently?
Okay, I have no problem honking at the ding-dongs driving around here. My problem is my horn!!! Why does it go beep beep like the road-runner. Horns should go HONK! HONK! Beeping is for Cooper Minis or something. I have a mini-van. It should at least have a medium size “honk” to it! My car’s horn makes me seem wimpy. It must have been designed by a liberal or a French engineer.
I wasn’t yelling; I just type in allcaps normally.
Yes. That is what I’m saying and while I agree that driving too close is dangerous it must be done. You’re missing the bigger point (besides ‘quit looking in the rear view and drive your car.’) Admit it: you let in a minivan into the left-hand lane on your way into work, didn’t you Frank? Two?! Multiply that by the hundreds and you’ll see that while we may still be traveling at high speed, I’ve been made to travel backwards through no fault of my own. This causes brake taps, which causes brake taps, etc. Till no one is moving. So now we see the ‘root-cause’ of the retarded driver. Frustration from the letter-inner. Emergency braking? From a flying monkey sighting or something? I don’t buy it. 97.6% of traffic jams involve no accident just volume. Caused by too many cars. Caused by letter-inners blocking people who want to get off the highway (and lowering amount of cars) from doing so fast enough.
I agree with you, Mike T.. Most of the time when there is a huge slow down in traffic it is because there is someone in the fast lane that is going BELOW the speed limit.. And he/she could care less that he/she has jammed traffic. On the other side, I don’t think it’s safe at all to be RIGHT on someones ass when you’re going 75+. At least stay a long car length behind, for your safety if not for theirs.
Huh,
Well out here in the south – traffic jams are caused by a car pulled over, or someone mowing the freeway grass, and everyone else who is supposed to be DRIVING doing a Monkey-See doo-doo. (aka Rubbernecking dipsh*t syndrome) Which in effect causes too many cars to be backed up wanting to know what all the hub-bub is about… and EVERYBODY wants slow down and take a look.
Ugh.
jonag, you should upgrade to an SUV. 😀 in the meantime, get one of those airhorns like the annoying people at sporting events have. hang your arm out the window and give it a yell.
i love my SUV, just 2 weeks ago there were two people racing down the 610 loop. One got stuck behind me and was about 2 feet from my rear bumper…the other went and cut me off and i had to brake…i still hit him and i got sandwhiched…luckily i was in a suburban and they were in celicas
AMEN. I have advocated this exact same concept for a long time. It’s just common sense! And it pisses me off to no end as well.
” I didn’t leave that space in front of me open just for my health @$$hole!!!!!”
Yea, I admit, I suffer from road rage…
Differences in merging:
In Texas/DFW: You wait to see a break in traffic, and accelerate so that your car fits into that area.
In Texas/SA: You accelerate madly so that your car fits into that area, then slow down by 15 MPH immediately.
In California/LA: You wait to see a car that can break fast enough to not let you hit it, and accelerate so that your car fits into a space an inch in front of where you figure their breaking line ends.
In Central Florida: You slowly creep to where the merge lane enters the highway (or) you accelerate into the flow of traffic on the tollway.
And don’t get me started on Californians not being able to understand right-of-way at a four-way stop, to understand how to drive in the rain, and to overcome a psycological barrier against adequate following distance. Or Houston traffic. Or DC traffic.
And Mike T, I’m guessing you’re one of those the Onion quoted in their article about how 98% of all commuters thought that other people should make more use of carpools and public transportation.
Sorry, brake, not break.
I need one so that my brain doesn’t do the other before I make more posts like this one and the one before it.
LokiD, I was going to say the same thing, most traffic slowdowns are caused by distractions off the road. I don’t think it’s always intentional, you know sometimes things just catch your eye, it’s a matter of trying to be aware of possible problems. (like deer) There was an article in Smithsonian a couple years ago that talked about traffic pattern research, particularly in Atlanta, it was very interesting. Things don’t work like you think they would. (like adding lanes doesn’t neccessarily help traffic, cause then more people think it’s okay to get on the road)
“expending much gas”
Uh, are you going green on us?
Frank,
Your observation concerning speed and limited intellect reminded me of the time a dog bit my son(very slightly). I decided to catch dog and kill it (very sligtly). Try as I might, I could not get my hands on the rascal. I concluded that dogs, though stupid, are fast. Their response to adversity is – haul ass. The morons you are running into on the highways fall into that category. Their poor planning or lack of ability to program a wind up alarm clock results in -“if I hurry, I can fix my stupidity.” Therefore, I conclude that going fast and being stupid are connceted.
Oh, since I could not catch dog I shot it in stead. Gotta go, late for a meeting.
SAFE FOLLOWING DISTANCE
As a person who used to drive for a living, and who learned about the stupidity of tailgating (the driving habit, not the pre-game grilling) in my high school driver’s ed class and took the lesson to heart, I leave…
Tailgating is very dangerous!
My personal pet peeve is people who pull out in front of you instead of waiting 3 seconds when there’s NO ONE behind you for a mile. They then go 1/2 mile and turn (without signaling), causing you to slow down again. Had this happen on Good Friday with a friend while towing a trailer with 2 horses. We both wanted to KILL that asshat. ARGHHHH.
Drove in rush hour to downtown Detroit for many years, in a stick shift. Halfway between first and second, in construction, both ways. Now I live in the country and deer, school buses, and slow moving farm machinery are my obstacles.
I lived in Germany for 4 years…in my formative driving years. By the time I moved back to CA, I was a pretty damn aggressive driver…but I was also a SAFE driver. It IS possible to combine fast driving with safe driving. I don’t tailgate when I’m going 80 mph.
What DOES irritate the hell out of me is the idiots who plant themselves in the fast lane smugly thinking “I’m going the speed limit”. Driving with the flow of traffic does NOT mean everyone’s going the speed limit and the smug driver who thinks that driving the speed limit in the FAST lane(or NASCAR lane, as another commenter so aptly named it) is safe, is really causing a problem.
Now I live in Maryland (moving back to CA in 2 days YEA!! – if anyone in the Huntington Beach area has any job leads, PLEASE email me!!) and this problem of slow drivers in the fast lane really manifests itself on these horrid beltways.
For some odd reason, I’m remembering this old game called Quarantine. Some psycho-filled futurized city where you’re driving a gun-toting taxicab. Anyways, one of the weapons you could have installed was known as the “BackJacker”. Basically a buncha bricks of C4 strapped onto the rear bumper. Someone rear-ended you, a brick would get lodged into their front end, then you drive off and let Mister Detonator handle the rest.
I feel your pain. Idiotic, moron drivers can be very irritating. In Houston, we have a very special variety of people who cannot drive, and therefore should not be allowed on the road under any circumstances. Unfortunately, they are everywhere!
If I can’t see the license plate of the vehicle behind me, I tap my brakes. Usually the jackhole backs off. Sometimes it takes two taps before he gets the idea and creates a proper following distance.
My pet peeve: folks coming from an onramp who wait to merge onto the freeway until the Very Last Millimeter and must squeeze past you on the right to do so. I like to put my little car in the very middle of the wide part of the lane.
BTW, if you see a beige BMW 2002 zipping around Southern California, it might be me. Be nice, and please use your turn signals (c:
Recovering Lib- As long as you avoid my giant yellow moving truck towing my poor little Nissan. : ) My husband & I will be in your neck of the woods by Tuesday of next week. Ta ta Baltimore, hello Pacific Ocean!!
Welcome to the neighborhood, Lara! If you keep the truck in the far-right lanes, we’ll both be happy (c:
Just be ready for the numbskulls who insist on going 80 in the slow lanes.
I actually did nail my brakes one time when this dude was real close behind me. He rear-ended me then ran off…. I found the bastard later, yea he was a typical redneck mother f***er….like 30 years old living with his uncle….what a loser…the dumbass even parked on the street on the main road in his neighborhood….where i found him…maybe the dipshit learned his lesson….if not, my brake pads still have some left on ’em….heh heh heh
Very good rant, Frank. The hubby-head and I wholeheartedly agree with you.
Say it with me folks, TAILGATING IS VERY DANGEROUS. Drivers shouldn’t have to cater to those morons who think they’re NASCAR drivers – this is why we have a speed limit. I’m not saying that I think people should be allowed to go 45 miles an hour in the fast lane – that’s just dumb. But aggressive driving is selfish, illegal and dumb.
I understand people are sometimes in a hurry. You’re not getting there any faster if you get into an accident or get pulled over. Be a little courteous, you’ll be less stressed out and much more likely to get there safely.
Not that most of the drivers on the Phoenix freeways understand this point either.
It’s friday … it must be
Just a quicky this week… 1. What’s your favorite board game? This came up somewher else recently and my answer is unchanged. I love backgammon. I don’t play enough and when I do play I’m not very good but…
One Reason Not To Tailgate
I don’t tailgate. I don’t like tailgaters. Neither does Frank J. Story time. One of my colleagues told me this morning about an automobile accident her son-in-law had yesterday. He was driving home from work around 6 PM. He probably…
I hate to break this to you Frank, but you’re dead wrong, and Mike, who should have phrased his agument better, is right. This also goes for the rest of you morons,pissing your pants about eeeevil tailgaters, while doing it yourself every chance you get.
Its the difference between being righteous and self-righteous.
Lets get this striaght, idjits: This fairy-tale scenario whereby you leave a couple of car-lengths in front of you, and no one jumps in? IT DOESN’T F***ING HAPPEN.
You must have have heard stories of a friend of a friend of a third cousin’s fellow dog-owner, who once, on the third blue moon of october, managed to maintain proper braking distance for 3 miles of driving at 2am in the Iowa backcountry without some moron taking advantage of it. I have NEWS for you: even if that story was true, it doesn’t affect the REAL WORLD, okay? If you understand, switch your drooling from your left side to your right, so I know you heard me.
Now that we’ve placed this little excercise in the real world, the world in which morons change lanes by hooking their fender in front of yours and wedging in, lets look at Frank’s results. They aren’t too good: Someone pulled in front of him, so he’s STILL tailgating someone (unless he cares to back up and repeat this stupidity ad infinitum), but now the only practical effect he’s had is now he’s got a (nother?) moron in front of him. And since I’m right behind Frank, now there’s a moron in the lane in front of ME, as well. Thanks Frank! Good Job!
If you have any more brilliant ideas, stick your head in a water barrel. It won’t make the bad idea a good one, but at least you won’t be infecting anyone ELSE with it.
But of course, that makes ME the bad person, for introducing nassty trecherousss reality into the discussion, right my precious?
FYE, here’s something most fustrated drivers find amusing: Yes-No.