Sorry to not have political humor; I have something in draft form, but I haven’t had time to finish it. I will soon. In the future, I’ll try to have guest bloggers during times like this. Also, I will be posting this weekend since they’re just more work days for me. BTW, I forgot to mention that In-N-Out Burger was excellent; thanks for pointing out that they’re nearby.
Anyhoo, today, it was get up and go to the conference, and, by the time I got back, it’s so late that there’s no time left except for drinking and gambling.
Well, not quite, actually. When I get back to my hotel, the power is out. For our little impromptu meeting, I needed my laptop, so I headed to my floor and had to find my room in pitch black, which meant letting my hand feel the walls as I walked until I reached a room number which I then had to read by touch.
When I got back to the lobby, no drinking and smoking for our meeting because they decided to stop serving drinks until the power was back (don’t want drunks stumbling around in the dark) and I forgot to bring cigars.
Luckily, power comes on half-way through our meeting. Then I decided to play more of that Monopoly game. After I was up $43.85, I got tired of it; the damn thing just keeps spitting money at me. Time to play some blackjack like a big boy.
Put eighty bucks on the table (got carded), bet the minimum of five, and got two black jacks in a row. I my total jumped up and down a lot during the night (though never far below what I started with), and they kept serving me drinks until I couldn’t do simple addition.
Luckily, the dealer was really nice and told me what to do… especially with the dreaded 16. She told me you either hit on a sixteen everytime or you stay everytime. I decided I’m the guy who hits everytime. I also happened to lose everytime I had a sixteen. Well, that’s statistics.
I got a ton of blackjacks, and I seemed to get them everytime I got frustrated and bet more than usual. When I finished what I decided to be my last beer, it was time to end the night. So I put on the table all I was up plus forty bucks… my logic being that, even if I lost I, would still be up a couple bucks for the night from the Monopoly game. I don’t know how many chips were risked, but it was a large stack.
And I got a sixteen.
Dammit. Well… I always hit on sixteen. That’s what I decided earlier on, so that what I did.
And I got a four.
Yeah, baby! Doubled that stack, tipped the dealer a $25 chip, and cashed out. $165 dollars (up another $85).
Gambling results so far: Up $190.35
Since I started out only risking ten bucks of my own money (I simply didn’t have it in the budget to risk more than a couple bucks gambling), I think that’s pretty good.
Also, I would like to defend my frick’n retard coworkers. The Ford F150 has an exteneded bed and is longer than your average bus. And, while Dr. J has hit a curb on pretty much every turn, he has never actually hit another car or person (though he came within milimeters of a baby carriage). My other coworker, the Greek, at least bought me a shot of whiskey yesterday after the combination of his navigation and Dr. J’s driving almost got me killed.
I’ll close the comments to the caption contest and pick a winner when I’m less tipsy. Until later, be honorable, ronin.
First!?
Looks like I’m the only one up checking on Frank why the rest of ya’s are sleeping… SHAME ON YOU
SHAME
SHAME
SHAME!!!
I did it it !!! I taught myself HTML…
Woo hoo!!
–Iama McNugget’s latest ode to a Republican
–J.A. Olinger
the –time here is 1:38am
Don’t worry Frank, we come here to read you, not some loser stand-in! You keep writing we’ll (or at least I’ll) keep reading.
Get some rest, sir.
Sweet dreams.
I sure hope you don’t have the spins. I hate the spins
reason # 698498242 why I don’t drink that often. 1 or 2 and I don’t even feel them. This tells me I have a high tollerence and is best to stick to 1 or 2 a week.
I bout busted a gut all the way through your post. I could just picture the honorable ronin, as he is trying to type in this compromising position….you sure the room is still?
I taught my self HTML, well at least the link thing….
and the italics thing but that’s about it.
Someone should open up a blog about blogging, how toos, all that…
–Joshua
What? I’m here, I’m up (wish I wasn’t because being here means I’m still at work, ugh!) I’ve just been going thru Franks handy dandy blogroll, (you know being a blogroll tourist) So I missed Frank’s latest post. Bad me!
Frank, I really envy your mad gambling skills, (well, just the fact that you can win money) Me, I would do as well if just went to Vegas, hit the Casino Bathrooms & just flushed all my coins down the Toilet. That about sums up my gambling skills.
Glad your enjoying yourself! And winning! Winning’s good too.
what’s wrong w/ web diaries?
Hey Josh,
Why did you use your nascent HTML skills to link to Ian McGibberish? When I clicked in I thought I was going to hurl. Scotty, beam me outta here! Quick!
If I thought it would do any good, I’d try to educate that boy about the beautiful nuances of our electoral system, which in its really wacky, uniquely American way is maybe the greatest voting system for a large geographically and culturally diverse nation that’s ever been dreamed up (culturally diverse as in “I live in Ohio and I don’t want it to be screwed up like California”). Oh, well. Never try to pistol-whip a Demo-fascist with logic; they don’t learn (if they could they’d become conservatives). Use a real pistol instead.
Frnak, you might have already learned the most important rule of gambling. Never, EVER bet more than you can afford to cheerfully lose.
It is an ironclad law, probably one of the Five Commandments that God wrote on that third stone tablet that clumsy ol’ Moses dropped. Behold! I bring you the Fift, er, Ten Commandments.
Among the Five Lost Commandments are: Thou shalt not gamble more than you can afford to lose, verily scared money always loses.
I think it’s right up there with Thou shalt not vote for a bazillionaire Donk and Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s T-shirt babe.
“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s T-shirt babe”
Man, have I got some serious repenting to do.
I’d read more often (like I used to) ‘cept my new job’s IT dept. has a really crummy Web-blocker-thingee that seems to block really random sites like Home Depot and IMAO….but not Drudge. I don’t get it. On the bright side, I won’t have any of my co-workers looking at me like I’m going insane, I guess. Nor will I be spewing coffee all over my monitor whilst reading the latest installment of In My World.
Such is life.
Hah, OC Lara, my school sometimes blocks IMAO, but I found out that if I go to the library, I can read IMAO instead of doing my hippie retarded man-hating feminist teacher’s global project.
See, Las Vegas can make an unfunny dumbass out of anyone.
Hell, the BEST time to pick a winner is when you are tipsy. Funny is FUNNIER when you are on the mental enhancement juice.
JusTalkin
so, have you and SarahK had that quickie wedding yet?
Heh, you’re always getting carded, aren’t you?! I sympathise, although it’s even more infuriating for me as the legal age in the UK is 18. I still can’t believe I look that young.
Ah well. Glad you’re enjoying yourself.
This is what I am buying myself for my birthday.
Glock 23C
found a local shop that sells them for $515.00.
My birthday is Nov 26 and I will be 31.
Anyone know of a shop in Portland, Oregon where I can get the same piece for cheaper.
The piece has a replacement guarantee:
GuaranteeD Lifetime Replacement Limited Warranty Terms and Conditions
frnak,
You gotta see this (ya’ll can see it too)….
Fat shoplifters on the rampage
frnak,
You gotta see this (ya’ll can see it too)….
Fat shoplifters on the rampage
“several arrests have been made but some of these women are still at large.”
Frank-
What kind of cigars do you smoke? I’ve been pursuing the ultimate smoke for about 20 years, since I quit the evil cigareeto. I’ve got a pretty good handle on who are the best sellers, what’s good (to MY tastes), & the best prices. Lemmeno if you have an inclination to further your seegar experience. If you already KNOW what you like, so much the better.
Good luck out there, it sounds like you’ll need it.
JackyJack Doubletrouble