Arrr! Just saw the supposed Republican Senator Chuck Hagel on Face the Nation, and my immediate reactions was, “Arrr!”
He arrrr-gued all the Democrat talking points on the war in Iraq. Made me want to run him through with me cutlass, it did! I suggest he be keelhauled. Or, maybe after the election, all the other Republican senators should sneak into his house in the middle of the night with bars of soap in socks and beat the grog out of him.
I know, that’s not very piratey, but it needs to be done.
Arrr!
So who do ye think is deserving of a keelhauling? Say so in the comments, and make sure to talk like a pirate or the one who will be hauled by said keel may be you!
I’m for keelhauling any Democrat.
Ah, matey, you be right in your listing to fight. Keel haulin’ too good for him, hangin’ em by the yard-arm is too good for him….
I say we should be Frank – and send him to Barney to suck the plank.
That Scurvy Dog deserves worse than a keelhauling Cap’n!
Argh!
NAIL HIS TONGUE TO THE DECK!!
YARG!! Do it quick Cap’n!! (We’ll do it for you for a couple of pieces of eight sir)
Then make ‘im walk da plank then run him through and dump his flea infested carcass down to Davy Jone’s locker Arrrggggh.
That should do the trick Cap’n.
Who be the scalawags deserving of a keelhauling? Arr! It be the scurvy dogs of CBS. That bilge rat Rather should be hung from the yardyarm. Then let us purchase tankards of ale in celebration! Avast me hearties!
Arrr matey, I declare we keelhaul scurvy-ridden Michael Moore. Ye can’t push ‘im from the plank, ’cause he’ll just be bobbin’ up n’ down on the water. But beware, treasure seekers…ye don’t want to plunder his booty.
Yarrr. Flog him ’round the fleet!
Haul him up before a Cap’n’s mast, I say. Blackbeard Chuck be a Republican in name only, mates! He’s a traitorous dog, who deserves to be run through and hung from the yardarm.
He has stinky feet too.
Arrr! I say FrankJ be haulkeeled, for not calling SarahK more often. Arrr!
Dave be tellin’ the truth; ’tis Michael Moore that’s most deservin’. On the other hand, mateys, methinks that the scurvy bilge rat’d sink yer vessel, makin’ ye exclaim “Arrrggghhh!”
Aye, matey, Frank J deserves a keelhauling, for not turning SarahK into SarahJ yet. Arr! As Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean said, “A wedding? I love weddings! Drinks all around!” Arr!
But beware, treasure seekers…ye don’t want to plunder his booty.
Heh Heh!
That line is worthy of Frank J.
Avast, me hearties
Aye, Hagel be worse than a scurvy dog, he be a Scallywag. I say we send him to the bottom of Davey Jones locker with a dagger up his arse.
Methinks Kerry is also deserving of a keelhauling. He fancys himself a sailor. Arr! He is but a landlubber who cannot even find Cambodia! To Davy Jone’s Locker with him! Let him explain where he be standing on ye ole issues to Posedion.
Who pictures the cast of the Pirates of Penzance whilst reading this?
Oh… it’s just me eh?
Me was thinkin’ more along the lines of Jack Sparrow….yum…er, I mean, Aarrrgh!
Aye, me hearties! A floggin’ ‘ere the keelhaulin’d be a fine spectacle fer the donkey birds!
A foin scalawag to be startin’ with to me mind be the distasteful wench that be opinin’ under the nomenclature of Eleanor Clift! And if it be against a pirate code to keelhaul a lass, I say we get her on “Talk like a Puritan” day and burn her as a witch!
Cheers,
M@
Arrrrr, Cap’n!
That scurvy, one armed, un-peg-legged Cabin Boy, Max Cleland heads me list for cleaning the barnacles from under the keel!
Only to draw frenzied sharks ’round the bloody waters once we make Long John Kerry walk the plank, says I!!!
Jack.
Thank ye, Sticky B. But a new idea in me head has sprung like a leak in a man o’ war. What about keelhauling that landlubber Frenchlover liberal pirate-poser sissyboy Johnny Depp? With that arsenine remark about America being a teething puppydog, could the scallawag be in cahoots with the puppy blender? Keelhauling be too good for that man.
Aye cap’n – the barrrrnicle Hagel bees needing a les’n, he does. But thar bees a use for ‘im in the S’nate, ‘cuz ‘e still bees count’n’ as Republican. So’s a dance wid your knife would be more fit’n for the likes of ‘im. Save the kee’hauln’ fer the stinkn’ traitor Kerry.
–Beat the grog out of ‘im, says you… that’s too good fer ‘im, says I.
–I says we make ‘im spend the weekend with john an’ tuh-ray-suh…
–Aarrrrr… now there be some justice!
Yeah Dave, it’s gettin hard to tolerate Depp and many other hwood dreamers. I guess you have to take a philosophically dishonest tack like the dems. (We want to make it very clear that we support the troops and if elected we’ll demonstrate our support by having them surrender and come home)
I’ll have to learn to enjoy the movie while despising the actors, directors and producers. In keeping with today’s theme though, I guess I’d need to pirate it, and thus deny the libs their rightful booty.
aye, but everyone knows the best pirate movies be rated ARRRRRRGH.
grrrr, I swear I didn’t see Dave’s earlier post. okay, okay, to make up. What’s a pirate’s favorite state?
AAAAAARkansas.
Shiver me timbers!!! A cutlass ‘cross da throat and long swim wit da sharks for that mangy dog of a man… er, whatever tis that writes under the name of Maureen Dowd!
Arrrrrrrr!
Bars of soap in socks? What happened to good old-fashioned cue-balls or half-bricks in socks?
A keel hauling, yarrrr…t’ar too many needing hauling, and we haven’t the keels for them all. Set a caurse for Devil’s Cove, we shall treat them to a crab dinner…and they be the main caurse! Bwahahahahahah…yarr.
Geez,
Is there any place in government with a greater percentage of stiffs and dumbshits than the US Senate? I can’t think of any, and I even register my cars at the California DMV!
liz, my personal fave has always been the pillowcase full of door knobs.
Ah yes my lads, what to do with the lubberly Hagel thing. To obnoxious to be the ship’s new bumboy and not worth the effort to drag him along the keel as slowly as he deserves. I say, why don’t we just load up the 32 pounder with a double charge and give him a hot enema, What! Oh if you darling ruffians insist, ahem, Arrrrrrgh.
Liz and Maggie are starting to freak me out.
Aye!
It seems we have another Jim Jeffords on our hands.
I say drop him off in North Korea in his underwear!
Yarrrr, Rightwingmac, that be afine idea. Even if he doesn’t frezzes to death in those deadly cold waters, if he be falling into the hands of those crazed North Koreans in nothing but his bra and panties they’ll make painfull sport of him, Arrrrgh!
Ye be right in that matey!
No keelhaulin’ the scallywag. That’s too good for him.
He need’s to live in a fully matured socialist paradise without all his evil capitalist money harrharr!
Bloody RINO bilge rat!
Garr! That scurvy dog Chuck Schumer be beggin’ fer 50 stripes!