Since Alito should be confirmed before the SOTU address, I’m hoping he’ll mention justice Alito in his speech, yell, “In your face, moonbats!” and then do a happy dance.
What do you want to see in the SOTU address?
You never think to protect yourself with real friends. You think it’s enough to be an American. All right, the Police protects you, there are Courts of Law, so you don’t need a friend like me. But now you come to me and say Samuel Alito, you must give me justice. And you don’t ask in respect or friendship. And you don’t think to call me Justice Alito; instead you come to my house on the day of my confirmation and you ask me to save abortions.
Or some other apropriate Godfather quote.
Personally, I would love it if President Bush would introduce Ann Coulter as a distinguished guest, after which she would produce custard pies and begin hurling them at Ted Kennedy and Harry Reid. And call them “girly-men”.
I would like to see Bush give “executive order 66” and watch as the mind-control chips in the brains of the House members cause them to open fire on the Senate.
Text from Mr. Bush’s SOTU speech:
“As I speak, Army and Marine sappers are pouring molten lead down all those tunnels we found in San Diego and Arizona, and have Marine snipers posted to shoot the guys who come scampering out of there. The marijuana bundles we foind will be used as bait for Lefty Moonbats who come out of their dirty little nests to feed in the evenings. they will then be rounded up and sent to free range Lefty preserves like France and Venezuela.
“As for the domestic oil policy ,we will immediately resume drilling wherever the hell I say to drill and I’ll have Barbra Streisand’s house razed for the first oil refinery in twenty years to be built on American soil.
“I also learned that there is no statute of limitations on murder, so I’m having Senator Kennedy arrested for that incident in Chappatappa, er, Chappahatooi, er, that place in Massachusetts.” (Pauses while police drag the belligerently drunk Senator up the aisle to a smattering of embarrassed applause)
“And in conclusion I have hired Chuck Norris to act as my gravitas enforcer to deliver roundhouse kicks to the head of anyone who makes fun of how I don’t talk good a lot of the time, or try to teach me how to pronunciate nucular.
“Thank you, and God Bless America.”
If you add “in your face moonbats and happy dance” to PaleoMedic’s rant, the State of the Union will be “hilarity” and “general euphoria”. More people will agree than disagree.
Fingers crossed…i hope the Prez is reading IMAO!
“My fellow Americans, it is time to pacifize the nests of wickedness in Iran, where they defiantly produce nukular weapons in a twisted ambition to destroy the nation of Israel, whose only crime is being Jewish. Echoing the mantras of the Nazis, Muslim psychopaths all over the Middle East are calling for more murder, more destruction, more carnage. They, not unlike some people here today, see the prosperity of their neighbors and rather than seek friendship, they grow jealous and plot heinous acts. Therefore, I have concocted a plan with the Department of Defense to issue one single last warning, in the form of a mighty demonstration of power. We have broken a few treaties I always thought were stupid anyway, and sent a dozen rockets armed with numerous nukular warheads on a course for the Moon. In a matter of hours, the warheads will explode on the Moon’s surface, creating a display visible anywhere on the Eastern Hemisphere. A second volley will go off twelve hours later, for our own viewing pleasure and that of any tinpot dictator in South America who thinks he wants a piece of us.
“A drastic revision of our homeland security policy is underway, with Ted Nugent awaiting approval as the new Secretary of Homeland Security.
“We are also evaluating our options regarding the continuing border crisis with Mexico, and annexation is on the table. I understand the desires of many Mexicans to come to the United States, and it just might be time that we brought the United States to them.
” I have been meeting with several Constitutional scholars preparing a plan of action that will correct several long standing injustices in this country and coincidentally get most of the Democrats in Congress thrown in prison for treason. I am sorry to say John McCain will be charged as well, since I couldn’t find a plausible sounding way to get him off the hook.
” Thank you, and God bless America. And Dick Cheney too.”
Dubya should rip open his shirt and reveal that he is in fact, Superman, but instead of Superman he would be Dubyaman. He could have a big stylized D on his chest. Or a W, so as not to be confused with Democrat, Dumbass, or Donkey.
Then he should fly off and totally pwn Iran. On his way back he could fook up the Mexicans and secure the border.
I want laserbeams to come out of George Bush’s eyes, aimed right toward Chuck Schumer, making Chuck’s head catch on fire.
Imagine if that happened on live TV. I can just see Brit Hume losing control and yelling “Holy shit! Holy f***ing shit!”.
Who in the world would the cable news networks call in as a guest commentator if Bush were to do something like that?! George Norry and Stan Lee are the only people I can think off. (Though, for some reason, I can imagine Ann Coulter having a few choice words.)
I’ve always had a dream about what I’d want the President to do in public. But not during the SOTU.
Remember how every Thanksgiving the president “pardons” the turkey? I’d love to see the President walk to the podium with a live turkey by the neck in one hand, and huge ax in the other. Then have the SecDef and SecState each hold the thing down on the podium while he chops the gobbler’s head off!
… and then say “There’ll be NO PARDONS in MY administration!”
Then let the thing run around the press corps without a head for a while. (I personally think it would blend in nicely)
That’s must-see TV!
Paleomedic has the right idea from the making fun of DU thread.
I would love to see Bush mention the “newly installed Justice Samuel Alito” then point to the Dems and give a hearty, “Haw haw. Majority rules dinguses” in his best Nelson Muntz voice.
I bet his approval rating would skyrocket and millions of DUers’ heads would explode. That’s win/win for Bush.
A long needed admission that the Nation of Palestine is as made up as Peter Pan, or Alice in Wonderland. Also recognition and unveiling of the fact that the Arabs got together to form a psuedo-nation smaller than Israel, so Israel looks like the bully and not the whole bigoted, backward, theocratic, corrupt Arab world.
Then I’d like him to give the finger to the left side (Stage Right) side of the audience chamber and then give the Authorization codes to turn Iran into fine pebbled glass.
I’d watch that.
I would love to see Pres. Bush, after one of the many pauses for applause, and after seeing (again) not one Democrat participate, push a button on the podium. Then, Sen. Kennedy’s chair would flop backwards and dump him into the fire pit that’s he’s secretly built under the Senate chamber. He then reveals the buttons for every single Dem. senator in the room and threatens to push one button for each time they refuse to stand for applause lines, starting with…?
Well, who would you nominate to go first or second? I put Kennedy first to go with the fire hazard reference earlier, and I’m currently torn between Clinton and Kerry.
Kerry. I thought Clinton first, but it’s never been proven SHE commited treason. Kerry’s been proven but never officially charged. Though I imagine his screams of agony, much like his speeches, would be wooden and contrived.
violence
You never think to protect yourself with real friends. You think it’s enough to be an American. All right, the Police protects you, there are Courts of Law, so you don’t need a friend like me. But now you come to me and say Samuel Alito, you must give me justice. And you don’t ask in respect or friendship. And you don’t think to call me Justice Alito; instead you come to my house on the day of my confirmation and you ask me to save abortions.
Or some other apropriate Godfather quote.
I suppose if I want credit for the Godfather quote I should fill out the name part.
Personally, I would love it if President Bush would introduce Ann Coulter as a distinguished guest, after which she would produce custard pies and begin hurling them at Ted Kennedy and Harry Reid. And call them “girly-men”.
I want to see him solemly pledge to NUKE THE MOON!
And it would be cool if he wore a Nuke the Moon t-shirt, too.
Thanks for the belly laugh. LOL I think “In your face moonbats” and a happy dance would be perfect! LOL
I would like to see Bush give “executive order 66” and watch as the mind-control chips in the brains of the House members cause them to open fire on the Senate.
I would like to see him thank Splash, the Ted Kennedy Senate Dog.
How about the truth?
I’d like to see him introduce Ann Coulter as his next Supreme Court nominee.
Is that wrong?
Text from Mr. Bush’s SOTU speech:
“As I speak, Army and Marine sappers are pouring molten lead down all those tunnels we found in San Diego and Arizona, and have Marine snipers posted to shoot the guys who come scampering out of there. The marijuana bundles we foind will be used as bait for Lefty Moonbats who come out of their dirty little nests to feed in the evenings. they will then be rounded up and sent to free range Lefty preserves like France and Venezuela.
“As for the domestic oil policy ,we will immediately resume drilling wherever the hell I say to drill and I’ll have Barbra Streisand’s house razed for the first oil refinery in twenty years to be built on American soil.
“I also learned that there is no statute of limitations on murder, so I’m having Senator Kennedy arrested for that incident in Chappatappa, er, Chappahatooi, er, that place in Massachusetts.” (Pauses while police drag the belligerently drunk Senator up the aisle to a smattering of embarrassed applause)
“And in conclusion I have hired Chuck Norris to act as my gravitas enforcer to deliver roundhouse kicks to the head of anyone who makes fun of how I don’t talk good a lot of the time, or try to teach me how to pronunciate nucular.
“Thank you, and God Bless America.”
If you add “in your face moonbats and happy dance” to PaleoMedic’s rant, the State of the Union will be “hilarity” and “general euphoria”. More people will agree than disagree.
Fingers crossed…i hope the Prez is reading IMAO!
More cowbell.
The FBI arresting most of the Dems present with charges of treason.
I’d like to hear President Bush start out with some “Yo Mama” jokes, then flip off the Democraps.
“My fellow Americans, it is time to pacifize the nests of wickedness in Iran, where they defiantly produce nukular weapons in a twisted ambition to destroy the nation of Israel, whose only crime is being Jewish. Echoing the mantras of the Nazis, Muslim psychopaths all over the Middle East are calling for more murder, more destruction, more carnage. They, not unlike some people here today, see the prosperity of their neighbors and rather than seek friendship, they grow jealous and plot heinous acts. Therefore, I have concocted a plan with the Department of Defense to issue one single last warning, in the form of a mighty demonstration of power. We have broken a few treaties I always thought were stupid anyway, and sent a dozen rockets armed with numerous nukular warheads on a course for the Moon. In a matter of hours, the warheads will explode on the Moon’s surface, creating a display visible anywhere on the Eastern Hemisphere. A second volley will go off twelve hours later, for our own viewing pleasure and that of any tinpot dictator in South America who thinks he wants a piece of us.
“A drastic revision of our homeland security policy is underway, with Ted Nugent awaiting approval as the new Secretary of Homeland Security.
“We are also evaluating our options regarding the continuing border crisis with Mexico, and annexation is on the table. I understand the desires of many Mexicans to come to the United States, and it just might be time that we brought the United States to them.
” I have been meeting with several Constitutional scholars preparing a plan of action that will correct several long standing injustices in this country and coincidentally get most of the Democrats in Congress thrown in prison for treason. I am sorry to say John McCain will be charged as well, since I couldn’t find a plausible sounding way to get him off the hook.
” Thank you, and God bless America. And Dick Cheney too.”
Dubya should rip open his shirt and reveal that he is in fact, Superman, but instead of Superman he would be Dubyaman. He could have a big stylized D on his chest. Or a W, so as not to be confused with Democrat, Dumbass, or Donkey.
Then he should fly off and totally pwn Iran. On his way back he could fook up the Mexicans and secure the border.
I want laserbeams to come out of George Bush’s eyes, aimed right toward Chuck Schumer, making Chuck’s head catch on fire.
Imagine if that happened on live TV. I can just see Brit Hume losing control and yelling “Holy shit! Holy f***ing shit!”.
Who in the world would the cable news networks call in as a guest commentator if Bush were to do something like that?! George Norry and Stan Lee are the only people I can think off. (Though, for some reason, I can imagine Ann Coulter having a few choice words.)
The request line is open at…
PresidentBush@GeorgeWBush.com
To Son of the South:
No.
And I second the nomination.
I’ve always had a dream about what I’d want the President to do in public. But not during the SOTU.
Remember how every Thanksgiving the president “pardons” the turkey? I’d love to see the President walk to the podium with a live turkey by the neck in one hand, and huge ax in the other. Then have the SecDef and SecState each hold the thing down on the podium while he chops the gobbler’s head off!
… and then say “There’ll be NO PARDONS in MY administration!”
Then let the thing run around the press corps without a head for a while. (I personally think it would blend in nicely)
That’s must-see TV!
Paleomedic has the right idea from the making fun of DU thread.
I would love to see Bush mention the “newly installed Justice Samuel Alito” then point to the Dems and give a hearty, “Haw haw. Majority rules dinguses” in his best Nelson Muntz voice.
I bet his approval rating would skyrocket and millions of DUers’ heads would explode. That’s win/win for Bush.
A long needed admission that the Nation of Palestine is as made up as Peter Pan, or Alice in Wonderland. Also recognition and unveiling of the fact that the Arabs got together to form a psuedo-nation smaller than Israel, so Israel looks like the bully and not the whole bigoted, backward, theocratic, corrupt Arab world.
Then I’d like him to give the finger to the left side (Stage Right) side of the audience chamber and then give the Authorization codes to turn Iran into fine pebbled glass.
I’d watch that.
I’d like to see the democrats openly weeping. Teehee!
Hey, George Guy’s got the real piece of wisdom in all this: Nugent for Homeland Security director! Sure hope George W reads this in time for the SOTU!
I would love to see Pres. Bush, after one of the many pauses for applause, and after seeing (again) not one Democrat participate, push a button on the podium. Then, Sen. Kennedy’s chair would flop backwards and dump him into the fire pit that’s he’s secretly built under the Senate chamber. He then reveals the buttons for every single Dem. senator in the room and threatens to push one button for each time they refuse to stand for applause lines, starting with…?
Well, who would you nominate to go first or second? I put Kennedy first to go with the fire hazard reference earlier, and I’m currently torn between Clinton and Kerry.
Kerry. I thought Clinton first, but it’s never been proven SHE commited treason. Kerry’s been proven but never officially charged. Though I imagine his screams of agony, much like his speeches, would be wooden and contrived.