(Via J-Walk)
Watch out, Frank. The Monkey Police are on the loose…
New research reveals that monkey cops help keep social groups in line.
Not having guns or nightsticks, they leverage their group seniority, craft intimidating reputations and count on good voter turnout.
Take the primate police out of a group, as researchers did, and the rest get more violent and aggressive. Interaction between cliques drops significantly.
“It’s not just that violence goes up, but a whole range of behavior involving a whole range of individuals suddenly disappears,” said David Krakauer of the Santa Fe Institute. “It’s like saying you take police out of human society, and all of a sudden people stop going to the opera, or something more important.”
The study, detailed in today’s issue of the journal Nature, also uncovered a complex monkey “voting” system for appointing the peacekeepers.
Monkey social police? Monkey voting?
I, as the proud owner of an undergraduate degree in Biology which I display proudly in some back closet, don’t like the looks of this at all.
My razor-keen scientific mind and Semitic propensity for trying to make a profit from everything leads me to believe that pretty soon there will be an all-monkey economy replacing ours. Next thing you know, there will be monkey sitcoms, monkey coffeehouses, monkey liposuction clinics, and monkey armies.
MONKEY ARMIES????
I’d better warn Frank.
Unless… he’s been replaced… oh, God, no… BY A MONKEY BLOGGER!
Who knew Planet of the Apes was so prophetic? Charlton Heston, we salue thee!
Whoah! Be this the beginning of Space Monkey?!?
You do realize the village featured in the movie “Planet of the Apes” was located in New Jersey, right(per northward horsey ride to Statue of Liberty)? So if Monkeys do eventually come into power, they’ll be Democratic Monkeys.
There already is a monkey party. The only thing they need is to drop the jack ass.
I think Frank was replaced by a monkey blogger, he’s been funny of late.
Send ’em to Gaza. They’ll be a step up (several steps, actually) from Hamas.
We need to impose liberalism on them. That’ll keep ’em in line.
They have monkey police.
We impose a monkey police union.
They vote.
We demand the greybacks count the hanging chads, over, and over, and over again.
So, if a thousand monkey bloggers pound at a thousand keyboards for a thousand years, will they eventually produce the entire works of DU?
“Opera, or something more important.” Is anything less important than opera?
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