Do you know any Veterans? If you do, watch out! Deranged from the war, they are probably contemplating killing you. There have been at least five murders in the past year committed by Veterans. Compare that to how many murders you’ve done; probably a lot less since you’re not a psychotic Veteran. Obviously Veterans are out of control and need to be locked up for the safety of the public.
This message sponsored by the New York Times.
As a veteran, I can kill them. With MIND BULLETS!
See, that’s telekinesis, Kyle.
I can kill all of you with a single thought! Death by tray it shall be!
Well my number is still at 0. Ill let you know if it goes up though,
You gotta catch a lot of fish to get the most out of the New York Times.
Hey, I’m a veteran, and I haven’t killed anyone. Yet.
I’ve never been to Iraq, which might explain why I’m so far behind the curve.
I never went to Vietnam, either (having been only 13 years old when Saigon fell) which might explain my complete lack of drug use and/or psychosis.
Thanks, NYT, for pointing out my deficiencies!
Anyone else think that 5 is pretty low given the sheer number of veterans we have now. We should be lauding the low rate compared to the general population.
I know, I know, common sense and the New York times just don’t play well together.
So, if veterans won’t let the NY Times play us up as victims, the NY Times makes us monsters?
Sounds about right.
TO: Frank J, et al.
RE: I Guess….
….I need to go watch Kurt Russell in Soldier now.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
[Guns don’t kill people. I kill people. — US Army Airborne-Ranger-Infantry-Deranged/Pyshotic/Veteran]
P.S. Since I was never in combat, it must be because I landed on my head too many times, jumping those perfectly good airplanes in flight.
Well, maybe us non-veterans should start killing more people to skew the average even more. I know that I’ve had my eye on a few people (read: liberals, which I guess I shouldn’t be slandering people by equating the two)
It’s not slander–it’s libel.
Although I have yet to bag my first kill, NY Times reporters might want to stay away. Just in case.
I am a veteran, my body count is classified.
Don’t ask. If you ask, I must kill you.
Don’t tell. Since dead men tell no tales.
Yay, Basilisk, for the Tenacious D reference!
Those crazy veterans! They’re kinda like Elmer Fudd – always trying to kill that pesky rabbit but too inept to do so (soldiers are stupid, you know – just ask John Kerry).
This is nothing new… It’s the John Kerry, “Your son will come from war a monster” tactic for drumming up oppossition against the war. Now that less soldiers are coming home in boxes, make us afraid of the ones coming home alive.
During the 1970’s, so many TV shows were based on the “crazed Vietnam veteran”, authorities had to clarify that real nutters weren’t vets.
The fact is that veterans are far less likely to commit crimes than the general population, but since they are drawn from the population, some of them will.
Maybe I should enlist. When I come back and “visit” the New York Times to bag my quota, I will have the perfect defense. The military made me do it! And the liberal judge will have to believe me and let me go, since it was in the Times….
The New York Times sucks!!!
My old man spent 20 years in the Military 1966-86.
Spent time in Korea and did a tour of duty in Nam.
he’s been out for 21 years. As far as I know he could have killed his ex-wife and probably at times wanted to kill me, but guess what New York Times, he didn’t.
They are so full of it!! He’s probably the most gentle and giving person there is and the Good Old New York Times wants to make out like all Veterans are killers. I think the Terroists hit the wrong buildings when they were in New York in 2001!!!
Is that all Veterans or just the ones that have been in combat? I need to know who to be worried about.
This post is great.
vietnam vet, trained killer/rescuer, haven’t killed a soul (person), although I may have killed souls in my 20+ USAF career. Do I get a tax break for not spending my life in prison???
TO: Basilisk
RE: Yeah?
“…I can kill them. With MIND BULLETS!
See, that’s telekinesis….” — Basilisk
I thought it was better known as ‘head shots’.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
[If the enemy is within range, chances are you are too.]
TO: Frank J., et al.
RE: The NYT and West Point
Last year, sometime, I read an article commenting on a plebe’s experience in his first year at West Point.
He went to his TAC officer and asked why they were required to spend their money on a subscription to the New York Times.
The TAC replied, “Know your enemy.”
Regards,
Chuck(le)
[Know your enemy and know yourself and you shall never be defeated. — Sun Tzu, The Art of War]
Sun Tzu, The Art of War. If you haven’t read it do so. great enlightenment and wisdom. A must read for all military officers (and the public at large).
I’m not a veteran, nor have I killed five people…
Yet.
It’s probably just as well that I don’t live in NY near the NYTB. Otherwise, I’d be front page news for them & their obit section would read like a who’s who of their editorial staff.
The NY Post is fighting back:
http://www.nypost.com/seven/01152008…ers_265875.htm
Here it is.
If a veteran kills himself in the forest, does the NYT report it a suicide, or a murder.
Take no offense, I am a veteran myself and I would really like to know the answer to this.
Abigail got it, Chuck Pelto. It was a Tenacious D reference, followed up by one from South Park.
It’s true.
Because the saying goes something like this:
“Be polite to everyone you meet, but have a plan ready to kill them.”
Does accidentally hitting someone with your car, then backing over them to make sure they’re really dead and don’t sue you count as murder? No, right? If not, then I’ve killed less than five, so I’m good.
TO: Basilisk
RE: Ack Tso!
“Abigail got it, Chuck Pelto. It was a Tenacious D reference, followed up by one from South Park.” — Basilisk
Well. I’m ignorant. We killed our television set over a decade ago.
Thanks for giving me a frame of reference(s).
Regards,
Chuck(le)
[Television is educational. Whenever someone turns one on, I go read a good book. — Groucho Marx]
P.S. Still and all, it sounds like a ‘head shot’, to me.
TO: bomas52
RE: A Good Book
“Sun Tzu, The Art of War. If you haven’t read it do so. great enlightenment and wisdom. A must read for all military officers (and the public at large).” — bomas52
It was on the mandatory reading list at Benning School for Boys when I went through IOAC in ’80.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
[Friends, n., People who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.]
It’s probably not the best manners to advertise someone’s else’s blog, but you all should check out Iowahawk’s latest post about the scourge of Media Vet Violence that is sweeping the country:
http://iowahawk.typepad.com/
🙂