Obama is an intellectual, so whenever he sees a bucket he is inevitably going to ponder whether his head would fit inside it. To satiate his academic curiosity, he will try putting the bucket on his head and often get it stuck.
This is a known problem.
Here is my solution: Have Obama wear a football helmet at all times. He may still get his head stuck in even larger buckets, but then you just unstrap the helmet and both helmet and bucket come off together. Each time that happens, you’ll probably have to buy him a new helmet, but that’s better than the constant struggle of getting his head unstuck from a bucket which, as he has demonstrated, is quite hard.
Wouldn’t it be easier to keep buckets out of his reach? Because I can see him getting stuck in a helmet without too much of a prolem.
And of course the taxpayers will foot the bill for all those replacement helmets.
I am pretty sure this post is rasist or homophobic or both! I’ve been paying attention during this election…
Frank’s plan is diabolical. He knows Obama will get his head stuck in the football helmet. This will require an ‘extraction’ of Obama’s head using a suction tool, thereby causing full decapitation. Excellent, Frank, keep ’em coming.
As for ussjimmycarter, I can’t find the word “rasist” at dictionary.com. Please elucidate.
“Rasist” is how racists spell “racist”.
Shoot, I meant to say hi to our newest moby, Jimmy.
Hi Jimmy, tell all the folks at moveon Veeshir said “High”.
Well, Veeshir, this is the same Jimmy that’s been here for 1-1/2 years so, should I take your comment as an insult… or a joke? Or are IMAO Ronin eating their own these days?
thereby causing full decapitation
I had assumed it was a new jimmy as people here rarely indulge in death threats.
One word: labeling.
All buckets must be labeled
Also, buckets should come pre-lubricated with some environmentally safe coating, so that no bucket should ever get stuck on a head again.
Ah, Veeshir. BTW, I wasn’t.
That would explain the ears.
Would this be a modern football helmet? I think he would look much better in the old fahioned Knute Rockne Leather helmet with stylish vertical striped socks (suitable for wearing or fashioining into puppets).
Couldn’t we just leave his head in the bucket?
Sometimes the best solutions are the simplest!
Couldn’t we just leave his head in the bucket?
After filling it with water, I hope!
Pass a federal law immediately requiring that no bucket shall be manufactured which is large enough to fit over his freakishly large ears. The no individuhl left bucketed act or some such.
Actually, we could greatly reduce this by keeping a ‘Joe the Welder’ type close by at all times to take a torch & cut it off. Just don’t let teh One talk to him or anything. No need to worry about paying him, you can just take his whole paycheck to spread around. Teh One would be freed, Joe would feel patriotic for surrendering his paycheck, and everyone else gets a 3 cent opportunity. Everyone wins!
In this discussion, we have forgotten that regardless of the bucket’s diameter, the ears will act as barbs or retainer flanges to keep the bucket on his head. They will have to be taped down first.
I’m sorry, Jimmy! I was on my super duper slick’o IPHONE at a Caribou when I posted and didn’t notice since I’m an old f*#K! I personally think that Obama is a truly great leader who will inspire us to do better as a nation! I think we should spread the wealth around! We should punish the rich S.O.B.’s! Tax the wee out of them! How will this improve my lot in life? It won’t but I will feel better about myself and that is really what this is all about!
Feelings! Feelings…nothing more than Feelings
Trying to forget my feelings of…love…
F…ee…l…ings
For all my life I’ll feel it
I wish I’ve never met you Barack
You’ll Never Come Again
F..ee…l…ings….
F..ee…l…ings… of w…oooooo…ooooo….f…ee..l..ings
W…oooooo…ooooo…feel you again in my legs…
F…ee..l..ings…
Like I’ve never lost you
and F…ee..l..ings
Like I’ve never have you
Again in my heart
F.ee…l…ings
Your taxes shall be paid…
Your programs will be obeyed
F…ee…l…ings
A terrorist attack you shall bungle
F…ee…l…ings…
I could just keep going on all day
But then I’d be just like Newsday
F…ee…l…lings…
Woo…woo…ooo…blah…blah…blah…blah…
ussjimmycarter, now that’s what I call elucidation with f…ee…ling. LOL.
Now, you see, Veeshir, that’s the kind of honest stuff that comes out of a great American when you simply point out a misspelllling.
See, now, if we do all of this, and require all of these safety warnings, and eventually do stop the ever-present threat of heads getting stuck in buckets, what’s to stop him from getting one stuck on his foot? then hopping around the White House, ruining the floors, while he chases Jerry around the room with a mop? and finally getting swatted out of the front door with a broom, where he has to stay until he gets the bucket off his foot, then attempts to fillet Jerry with an axe, and then get caught by a ferocious dog in a spiked collar, who shoves the bucket back on Barry’s head, lights a stick of dynamite, shoves it someplace up Barry stern, then blows him to the Moon?
I think we should also have warning labels that warn about getting your foot stuck in buckets, too. Americans just can’t have enough over-regulation, by gosh!
I think that all buckets should have eye holes pre-drilled into them so that when he does get his head stuck in it, he’ll be able to see out of it.
In a related news story, it has been discovered that hydrogen sulfide secreted by a rat’s blood vessels helps control its blood pressure.
Since hydrogen sulfide is the odiferous ingredient in flatulence, one can safely remove a bucket from Obama’s head by farting in the bucket to lower his blood pressure.
If his shoulder pads were large enough, his head wouldn’t stick up enough to try the bucket.
Damn, but you folks is tha whitest…
(And I can say dat bein’ how I’s da milk-chocolate messiah, y’all!)
Barry in tha hizzie ain’t gonna git his head stuck in no bukkit!
(An’ THAT’S how folks wif SOUL spell it: B U K K I T)
If I puts anythin’ on my head, it’d be a Chi Bears helmit!
Yo, an’ bein tha bad mammajamma of a milk chawklit messiah that I am…I’d even rock a Michael Vick jersey–throwback stylee, y’all!
So keep it real cuz Change is a comin’, y’all!
(An’ it’s mightier than tha Righteous Wind blowin’ outta ma trouser seat!)
Print an image of an American flag on the bottom of each bucket.
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