Let’s All Watch the Watchmen

Looking decently cool. They just better not screw up Rorschach. Now there’s a model for the Republican Underground.

Oh, and is it just me or does their Ozymandias look like a pushover.

51 Comments

  1. I must admit, I’m not up to speed on the plot of the comic at all.
    That said, it was an interesting use of the soundtrack from Koyaanisqatsi for the first part of the trailer. Not sure what the song was for the last half. Trailers often pillage soundtracks from other movies because the one for that movie isn’t done yet.
    Unfortunately, this guy’s movies tend to be postmodernist even while being heroic, so you end up with characters that are rooted in nothing fighting as if everything is at stake. The trailer indicates the same contrast here. Then again, I’ve just described the hard Left, haven’t I?
    Ironically, Koyaanisqatsi was also a quintessential postmodernist film – all image an no substance. Eye candy with a message of so meaningless and equivocating that the script is basically a blank page, literally and figuratively.

    [The song from the second half is “Take a Bow” by Muse. -Ed.]

  2. Oh man. When I heard this movie was coming out, I finally got around to reading this “Watchmen” comic I’d heard so much about, and I’ve got to tell you, I am totally psyched about this movie. That “Most Celebrated Graphic Novel of All Time” line in the trailer isn’t just hype, it’s true, and for a reason. I think Alan Moore is kinda left-ish, but he’s a heckuva writer, and he really doesn’t come down on one side or the other in this story.

    As far as politics go, this is all you need to know: the bad guy is a scary leftist, and Rorschach is the sort of guy who would seriously consider Nuking the Moon as a Realistic Plan for World Peace, except he’s not trying to look like he’s crazy, he’s just actually that crazy.

    We’ll see if the movie is as awesome as the comic. The potential is there.

    [Alan Moore is definitely a leftist, but he takes his characters very seriously and doesn’t seem to like any of them being two-dimensional. -Ed.]

  3. And even though Muse (the band in the trailer) is a politically-motivated leftist band, they absolutely and unequivocally rock. Liking their music is like cutting off my nose to spite my face, so it’s a good thing its already been melted by Matt Bellamy’s incendiary guitar riffs. I highly recommend checking out their concert at Glastonbury, UK… I think around 150,000 people showed up.

  4. They’ve alread screwed it up. Look at 0:53. They got the bloodsmear on the smiley face pin wrong. It’s supposed to be a single line across the left (our left) eye. Instead, they made it a little splatter on the far left edge.

  5. I have a problem with the newer generation which you just demonstrated. Your generation is fill to the brim with unoriginal ideas that are absorbed from big media / movies / television. There is not an original thought in any of that. I can predict the next scene in any movie now days. All media is formulaic. Your generation is referential to movies and tv’s so that makes you doubly uncreative in this instance.

    When any of my friends uses their original humor and do not refer to any movies that is when there is the possibility for originality. Refering to a mass media object in analysis or humor is the equivalent to the helicopter rule in movies. The helicopter rule of movies is: The quality of the movie is inversely proportional to the amount of helicopters in the movie. Vaguely true because the more crutches a writer uses the less likely there was adequate creatively employed.

    Just thought I would inform you of one of your generations greatest failings. Your over absorption our crappy medias ideas. No wonder you like Sarah Conner Chronicles. References to pop culture are lame because they access what is already boiled down to no fiber lowest common denominator thinking for mass sales.

    On the other hand how can we blame your generation…. any activity fun and outside of the house has been ruled illegal.

  6. You all GOT THAT ! Your all “unoriginal” or unvirginal… or something like that….. WTF? Did somebody post an opening for a culture critic?….If you ever see something… and it reminds of something you have seen in a movie….. well then your an unoriginal couch potatoe.. and you need to go outside and enjoy the original wonder of physical activity…. you can all do it together …. and if you do so … you just might have a “original” thought…. you know like in 2001 A space Odyessy… when the monkey starts to hit s*** with the bone??

  7. I was never a huge comic book fan. The reason for this was because my friends were all comic book fans, and I never got into them because they’d never let me read them. I read one once and the owner of said comic book FREAKED OUT because I actually opened it up all the way. “But I’m just reading it” I said. “YOU JUST RUINED THE SPINE! NOW ITS WORTHLESS!!!!!”

    So, as I said, I never got into comic books. But a friend of mine got a hardbound copy of all the issues of The Watchmen. Since there was a greatly reduced risk of my damaging a real hardbound book, he actually let me read it. I really liked it, but not enough to actually get into comic books.

    But, I’m REALLY looking forward to this movie, because I really did like that book.

  8. Gee, I never hear of the “helicopter rule” in movies. I thought it was “car chases.” (The Matrix completely blows the “car chase rule,” however.)

    Freemon, I think you’re missing out on the meaning of “Romanticism” which looks to display heroes any way it can, from simple to complex. I suspect you like the complex.

    Personally, I’m addicted to silly lines from any movie in the Romantic tradition that I can use in “creative” ways. You wouldn’t like talking to me because “He’s not just dead, his brain is gone!” (me).

  9. Jaded people are annoying. How can you go through life thinking that everything is crap, and be remotely happy?

    Hating the things that most people like doesn’t mean you’re smarter and more discerning than everyone else, it just means you lack the ability to appreciate what it is most people see in those things.

  10. #17 Krig – Laughing at the irony helps. BTW, I don’t think that everything is crap, just everything remotely involved with our government. On the rare occasion that our elected idiots don’t disappoint me, I smile. Rather than think of myself as jaded, I prefer to think of myself as enlightened (IMHO – irony intended).

  11. Freemon, I love you buddy, but if you keep painting the entirety of my and Frank and a large number of other posters generation with the same Pinko brush, I am going to give you a high velocity .45 enema. So, before you spout off about lack of originality as a whole, on a site that is amazingly original and humorous, and is headlined by a man and woman husband and wife team from self same generation, just repeat this mantra to yourself and back away from the keyboard, “Shut the F*** Up! Shut the F*** Up! Shut the F*** Up! Shut the F*** Up!” Seriously. Painting the world with useless labels and assumptions is what the Libtards do, and this is the second time I’ve called you on your Bulls***.

  12. He looks like Ben Afflack in Daredevil, the muscles are all in the suit.

    I skipped the series when it first came out, but finally read it when it came out in graphic novel form. There’s a lot of back-story that’ll probably get left out of the movie for the sake of time (like the pirate story) although even that ties in in a sneeky, third-hand sort of way. Who do you suppose will play Richard Nixon?

    Freemon doesn’t like ‘unoriginal ideas’. But he can’t seem to resist misogynistic innuendoes aimed at conservative female celebrities like Gov. Sarah Palin or Ann Coulter. Oh yeah, That’s really original! And what’s all this about “your generation”? What alternative time line is he on?

  13. Color me ignorant, but what’s the difference between a graphic novel and a comic book?

    [The pretentiousness.

    It’s just a more sophisticated term for a comic book, often used for a larger one that comes in book form (trade paperback or hardcover). Calling them all comics is fine with me. -Ed.]

  14. #19 HCG – For me, any group of people as large as a government (or an entire generation!) is too large to paint with one big brush. The vast majority of people, even the ones who eventually become corrupt, get into government with the idea of doing good for their country. Some of them have stupid ideas for how to go about that, certainly, but they do at least mean well. Many countries don’t have governments like that.

    There is good and beauty in the world, you just have to be willing to sift through the crap to find it.

    #23 Marko – I usually use the term “graphic novel” to refer to a longer, self-contained story, and “comic book” to refer to a shorter book which is part of an ongoing series — like the difference between a movie and a T.V. show.

  15. Right wing in-the-closet freaks like you idiots do not deserve cool graphic novels. Go bang your bibles and visit creationmuseum.org since that’s all your party under Palin stands for anymore.

    IMAO = attempt at blogging FAIL

  16. #27. From your name, you appear to be a blowhard that continuously assumes self-proclaimed titles. I’ll bet a $100 (to the charity of your choice) that Frank J has a higher IQ and higher blog traffic than you. I’ll even double the bet that Sarah K can trounce you as well.

    The left proclaims itself the party of minorities, but you have vividly shown us that is just one more lie. Your GLBT compatriots would not be happy about your assertion that homosexuals are freaks. Hypocrite. How long must we tolerate your bigotry? Now crawl back under the bridge coward.

  17. #26 Krig. OK, I was exaggerating. Obviously, the government has plenty of good people, but it is a lot more fun to say outrageous and (hopefully) funny things. I worked for Uncle Sam from 84-94. The government has tons of great people, and a few colossal louses. Unfortunately, government inevitably leads to bureaucracy and waste. It is human nature.

  18. Rorsch FTW.

    I really hope he doesn’t hash it up. 300 was true to the graphic novel, but it was a much more simplistic graphic novel. Watchmen demands you linger over every panel. Watchmen will, as a First-Lady-elect put it, “make you work”.

  19. Nah. As good as this looks (and I probably will see it) I’m even more interested in Valkyrie. Smart, badass people who recognize evil in their own government and attempt to solve it with the “correct application of high explosives.” It’s a true story (I already know it through the life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer) and it’s from WWII. Blowing up Hitler is not quite as good as Nuking The Moon, but it’s not bad…

  20. I have to admit, I never understood the whole comic book/graphic novel thing. However, I also don’t understand ballet. In both cases, I don’t besmirch those more enlightened than I.

    I do like the concept of the watchmen, however. I think that’s why we’re here.

    We are the watchmen. We are those ones who are charged with watching the watchers. Since the watchers (Senate and House oversight committees) are made up of the same people that are f***ing everything up in the first place, they should be subject to our .45 cal punishment.

    -Mitch Rapp

  21. *** News *** (and speculation)

    IMAO 11/16/2008: In other news, as the economy continues its free fall, certain industries are booming, notably canned goods, guns and ammunition. Stores and whorehouses across the country can’t stock them fast enough. Apparently, even old-fashioned Spam is in huge demand.

    The Wall Street Jerknal today speculated in a lengthy article that a different kind of economy could sustain us though the coming dark times: hoarding. Once everyone has hoarded enough, the analyst speculates, a whole new currency will emerge: “ECG” which stands for “equivalent canned goods.” Whereas the survivalist movement started out trading in ammo, the article claims, they will switch to ECG’s because “you can’t eat bullets.” Many in the movement still cling to bullet-based economics as they think a steady diet of bullets is the only thing that will cure the ills of a sick federal government under the new president.

    To go along with the rush to survivalism and matching a declining stock market, conservative weekend blogging is at an all-time low as conservatives prepare for President Obama in a state of continued despair and perpetual denial while hitting the stores for such things as canned spam, kippers, and tuna fish. The demand for eggs has also increased as America once again resorts to “eggs and spam” in belt-tightening family budgets.

    “The waiting list for guns and ammo is over four weeks at most online sites and gun stores,” so we decided to buy food this weekend, instead” said one Sunday shopper. “You can never have enough stored up. We’ve even got Y2K disaster supplies left over, so we’re in good shape,” he remarked.

  22. *** News *** (off topic speculation)

    IMAO 11/16/2008: In other news, as the economy continues its free fall, certain industries are booming, notably canned goods, guns and ammunition. Stores and warehouses across the country can’t stock them fast enough. Apparently, even old-fashioned Spam is in huge demand.

    The Wall Street Jerknal today speculated in a lengthy article that a different kind of economy could sustain us though the coming dark times: hoarding. Once everyone has hoarded enough, the analyst speculates, a whole new currency will emerge: “ECG” which stands for “equivalent canned goods.” Whereas the survivalist movement started out trading in ammo, the article claims, they will switch to ECG’s because “you can’t eat bullets.” Many in the movement still cling to bullet-based economics as they think a steady diet of bullets is the only thing that will cure the ills of a sick federal government under the new president.

    “The waiting list for guns and ammo is over four weeks at most online sites and gun stores,” so we decided to buy food this weekend, instead” said one Sunday shopper. “You can never have enough stored up. We’ve even got Y2K disaster supplies left over, so we’re in good shape,” he remarked.

    To go along with the rush to survivalism and matching a declining stock market, conservative weekend blogging is at an all-time low as conservatives prepare for President Obama in a state of continued despair and perpetual denial while hitting the stores for such things as canned spam, kippers, and tuna fish. The demand for eggs has also increased as America once again resorts to “eggs and spam” in belt-tightening family budgets. Some even double up on the spam, an order that is showing up in popular country restaurants as “spam eggs and spam.”

  23. I have never heard of the helicopter rule either. However, didn’t “Full Metal Jacket,” “Black Hawk Down,” “Apocalypse Now,” and for that matter even “Forest Gump,” all have a whole lot of helicopters in them, and these are all some of the most awesome movies of all time. I would say their very existence proves the helicopter rule wrong.

    However, I do believe there is an unwritten rule that states the more characters sit around and reflect how miserable they are, without doing anything remarkable, the more the movie sucks (unless you are a girl or something).

    In conclusion, we need a movie full of helicopters, and elephant mounted rocket launchers. Frank J can work on the script after he gets done with Hellbender.

  24. I was into comics for a long time when I was younger & had no idea that good money could be spent on other items. I have lots of first issue stuff, but unlike other collectors, I got them so I could read them. I only started to put them in poly bags after they’d been read about a bajillion times.

    I hadn’t read the ‘Watchmen’ series until about 5 months ago, and I gotta say: if I ever chose to be a masked crusader, I’d have a hard time deciding whether to model myself after Wolverine or Rorschach. You gotta love the premise behind either one- A sociopath with moral grounding…

  25. Rorschach has the best line in the whole series:

    facing a whole mess-hall full of hardened convicts he says,
    “None of you understand! I’m not locked in here with you, You’re all locked in here with Me!”

    The most helicopter intensive movie I ever saw was ‘Broken Arrow’. Every single helicopter featured in that movie ended up in a spectacular fireball of cinematic destruction. They should have called it, “All Helicopters Must Die!”

  26. Sorry, Didn’t have a bible handy so I licked my copy of “Surely you’re Joking Mr. Feynman” probably not the sane effect. BTW Desertelephant .45 is not a high velocity round. It’s actually a little slower than 9mm, just lots heavier. For High velocity enemas I’d recommend .223 or 7.62×39

  27. So many great quotes from Rorschach:

    “There is good and there is evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of Armageddon I shall not compromise in this.”

    “Meeting with Veidt left bad taste in mouth. He is pampered and decadent, betraying even his own shallow, liberal affectations. Possibly homosexual? Must remember to investigate further.”

    Frank’s right. Moore is an ardent leftist/anarchist. He’s responsible for V for Vendetta. ‘Nuff said. But Watchmen has no paper-thin characterizations. Even the characters whom Moore would potentially disagree with, like Rorschach, are fully-developed characters.

    Personally, I prefer the trailer with “The Beginning is the End is the Beginning” from the Smashing Pumpkins (originally in the wretched Batman and Robin): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3orQKBxiEg

  28. Yep, Moore is full on lefty. Most of his stuff is aimed at erroding the foundations of western civilization, and judeo-christian morality, with the goal of going back to a sort of pre-modern pagan ideology. Seriously. He is, however, an awsome writer, and Watchmen was something unique and profound.

    Of course, Watchmen is the progenitor of the “flawed and hyper violent, morally ambiguous, fighting evil corporations and government – with just a little bit o’ rape thrown in” type hero that typifies most modern comic books, written by guys like Mark Millar, Warren Ellis, and Brian Micheal Bendis. It sought to erase what Moore thought were “outmoded” moralistic tropes in comic books. In that, he was, sadly, successfull.

    No doubt, Moore probably thought Ozymandius was the good guy. The book is consumed with the idea of avoiding nuclear destruction, which most lefties in the 80’s thought Reagan would bring about. And the book itself is a sort of thinly veiled critique of Reagan’s America, just like V for Vendetta was a full on critique of Thatcher’s Tory Britain. He was, of course, wrong about both Reagan and Thatcher, and the world they wrought. More to the point, the oppressive system that we here will most likely need to resist “V for Vendetta” type style, and the Watchmen who need the watching, are of the left – and not the right.

    I read the Watchmen in High School. A buddy of mine bought the comics. It’s funny – even though I was a mush headed liberal punk for most of my early life – I always responded to Rorschach. Not many people willing to stand up to a genocidal leftist out to “save the world” and godlike being without blinking. Maybe that was the test. How you view him says a lot about how you view the world.

    Hurmh…..

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