WASHINGTON (AP) – As President Barack Obama brought his case for his stimulus package to the American people, he pointed out that the average American stands to stands to gain $13 a week from the bill’s withholding tax cut provision, which he described as “a LOT of money”.
 |
“During the campaign,” said Obama, “Senator McCain floated the ridiculous notion of a gas tax holiday, which I rightly scoffed at, since it would only save you around 25, 30 dollars. But the tax relief provisions in my stimulus bill will give Americans THIRTEEN dollars a week! That’s a LOT of money! That’s like… half a tank of gas!”
First Lady Michelle Obama was equally enthusiastic about the windfall her husband has planned for the country. “Over a year’s time, that $13 a week will REALLY add up. You’re getting over $600. What can you do with that? Even if it doesn’t pay down every bill every month, maybe it pays down A bill. Barack’s approach is that the short-term quick fix kinda stuff sounds good. And it sure feels good that first month when you get that check. Then you go out and you buy a pair of earrings. No one should be ungrateful or anything about that.”
13 dollars is unlucky.
Man. Getting to keep $13 of my own money totally makes up for the soul-crushing debt that we are using to destroy our economic infrastructure.
Thirteen dollars is just about perfect.
Home Depot’s price on the Rubbermaid 14 Qt. BRUTE Round, Gray Model RCP 2614 GRA bucket is $10.49 Each. After tax, you may even have a few cents left over. So, with his massive tax cut, you too can get your head stuck in a brand new bucket, just like the president.
I’m going to take 13 crisp new $1.00 bills, wipe my ass with them and then send them to the White House with a thank you note. (From Frank J, of course)…
I’m so dirt poor that I get all my federal taxes back anyway, to this amounts to jack squat for me. Thanks for nothing, Obama!
13 whole dollars!!! That is almost enough for money for THREE five dollar footlangs !! Wow.
You could almost buy a Playstation with that!
And after another year, you could buy a game for it!
Ungrateful louts! Here Obammy, the most merciful, is GIVING you $13 OUT OF HIS OWN POCKET! And he’s going to SAVE BILLIONS by putting YOUR health physical and history in a government database. Why soon, those that are about to die (give or take a few years) will get cut off from health care. And probably social security, food stamps and every other government program. Think how much that can save! Why in just a few years, your taxes “rebate” could well go up to as much as $15 a week.
What sore lusers. Where is your AUDACITY OF HOPE for the rule of Obammy the great?
This is the CHANGE we can HOPE for!
Oh, and bye the bye, it would be an excellent idea to NEVER tell a government official, like a doctor, nurse, physician assistant, social worker, priest or preacher that you smoked, drank, ate fried foods, didn’t love jesus, mohammed, budda or any other deity. This is because in merri ole England, which our rationed health care system is modeled after, they REFUSE TREATMENT if you have engaged in “unapproved” behavior. Such behavior being determined by the medical review board, at their whim.
And it may not be too late to go to any health care provider you have ever used and give them a statement that you revoke and renounce your permission to share any data, medical or other, they have collected on you with any other entity, for now and forever, under penalty of law.
When you consider the income level of their base, that probably is a lot money.
$13 doesn’t even buy a 20 round box of ammo anymore.
Damn! I’d nearly forgotten about That Harpy’s comment about earrings that she made the last time we had a (correctly named that time) Stimulus. I really find that woman intellectually, spiritually and physically repulsive. Methinks she’s a Valkyrie or Succubus.
That’s about $.33 per hour in a standard work week, so I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m going to build an empire!
and did I mention my evil plan for an army of rats…?
He also forgot to mention that the 13 Dollars a week , reduces to 8 in January. So in reallity it is closer to 150 or $13 a month. Whoo, I can go to the cheap movie, by myself.
No no no, y’all misunderstand: the $13 is only for those who voted for him.
The rest of us have to PAY the $13 to those who voted for him.
Every time I see a picture of Michelle Obama, I can’t help but wonder who has been hitting her in the face with a pan.
You know what really benefits from this $13? Off Track Betting.
Why are liberals still alive?
Anon and Desert,
It’s not politically correct anymore to make fun of drag queens.
$13 will buy a lot of earrings at Dollar General,
but I don’t think the First Lady shops there.
Maybe Michele’s getting instructions from our Romulan overlords through the equipment hanging off her ears.
Makes as much sense as everything else they say.
The stimulus bill includes $30 million for preserving the habitat of the endangered Salt Marsh Harvest Mouse (SMHM) in wetlands around San Francisco bay. Well let me say this about that….you whining, sniveling, environment raping, anti mouse bastards….as an endangered SMHM I want to say we appreciate Speaker Pelosi’s efforts on our part and from now on she’ll have the full support of the SMHM Community!! For far too long our needs have been overlooked, our complaints have gone unheard and unrecognized, and our habitat has been taken from us in order to provide land for humans! Sure, they used that land to build homes and businesses that contribute to the tax base, but so what! What about us? We’ve been treated worse then the Native Americans, hell, we don’t even have a reservation we can call our own or a single casino! All we have is this lousy, stinkin’ salt marsh….you ever tried to spend your life living in a salt marsh?? Also it’s about time us members of the rodent family got some recognition, we’re sick and tired of Pup Fish and California Condors getting all the favorable press, TV coverage, and protection dollars. Listen, it’s only a crummy $30 million dollars and when you figure this bill spends well over seven hundred billion dollars what’s a paltry $30 million? Besides (and here’s the best part) your grandchildren will be the ones paying for it all….so quiet your bitching and get with the program…….Signed: Sniffles The Salt Marsh Mouse…….PS: We’re glad, however, that she didn’t provide any funds for the Salt Marsh Harvest Snake.
PG-13 alert: don’t read this if you’re easily upset by innuendo, or if you are reading this with kids around-
13 dollars…
If you think about it, that’s 7 dollars less than a hooker would charge for a BJ (you’ll have to refer to Bill Clinton for confirmation on that). That means we aren’t even as good as the average whore in the liberal’s eyes.
On the other hand, Michelle Obama is proud of us for the first time, so she probably got the extra 7 dollars + a nice tip.
How ironic is that, since she’s not the one who’s compelled to swallow this “stimulus package”…but we are.
Michelle sure is a sight for sore eyes ….
Numb C%#T
See “stimulus Bonanza” for whatyou can really do with $13 dollars a week (with a few weeks to work with).
Wow, just found a $13 lens filter for my 35mm camera that makes this stimulus package look absolutely great … it’s called a cover.
Barry thinks of everything in terms of what the government is DOING for you. so $13.00 times a couple of hundred million taxpayers is a lot of money………to the government. of course when they are thinking of spending it………..it is not a lot of money. One of those tricky economic theories he tried to explain in his first press conference.
Why save the mice outside of San Francisco? I guess it is so the Castro residents that voted for him can have an endless supply of anal stimulis?
I think you will see a major jump in mouse suicide!!!!
With $600 you could buy maybe 750 rounds for your AR-15, but it would be advisable to do it now and work it off 13$ per week, vs waiting until you’ve saved it all. There may be a 500% tax on that ammo by the end of the year.
Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » The Suspense is Killing Me!