There is a lot of wasteful spending in the so-called “stimulus” bill, and here’s the worst offenders I found:
TOP TEN ITEMS OF WASTEFUL SPENDING IN THE STIMULUS BILL
10. Paying people to follow and record the wit and wisdom of Joe Biden.
9. Monitoring volcanoes for STDs.
8. Research into ear reduction surgery.
7. Placing safety devices in all buckets to keep heads from being stuck in them.
6. New iPhones for Obama’s cabinet with built in reminder to pay taxes on April 15th.
5. Creating new national anthem with a beat you can dance to.
4. Eight more face lifts for Nancy Pelosi.
3. Purchasing extended warranty on America.
2. Making proper chimp care a mandatory class in all schools.
And the number one item of wasteful spending in the stimulus bill…
Well, personally, anything that keeps San Francisco from shriveling and dying I’d call wasteful spending.
10. I already dedicate a fair bit of my blogging to Joe Biden. Pay up, gubbmint!
9. Volcanoes also have a smelly discharge. Could be onto something.
8. Ear reduction surgery: John 18:10
7. Just have Obama wear one of those headfunnel thingies they put on dogs. Problem solved.
6. Or put more conservatives in the Cabinet. Problem solved.
5. BarryO and the hip-hop All-Czars present “Livin’ in Amerikkka”
4. Where’s an enraged chimp when you need one?
3. This one is a good idea. Lots of things are going to break…
2. Sleeping with and bathing with the chimp counts as extra credit in San Francisco School District.
1. Show some heart – think about the poor little oppressed marsh mice that will finally have a chance to live a life without fear of extinction.
Those are all good items, and will be taken under advisement. We have to be frugal, because there has to be money for the UN to protect defamation of Islam.
1. Forming a task force for the naming of the Obama’s dog
Yes, but at least we finally get to see the caskets of soldiers before their own families do! So don’t say the new Administration didn’t do anything for the American people.
I’m still under the firm belief that Kalifernia is going to sink into the ocean and all of our problems will be resolved. That and Biden will have complications during some reconstructive plastic surgery that will leave him looking like Carolyn Kennedy….the horrors.
San Franthisco’s unique and active culture (as found in petri dishes) should indeed be protected by the federal government. I’d recommend covering the entire peninsula with a gigantic latex condom to protect the rest of California the next time they’re screwed by the government.
1. Any money that ends up benefiting you racist crackers since I’m going to be getting rid of you soon enough anyway.
Grants for research into making tofu taste like something other than library paste (the non-minty kind)
Wow, this is my favorite part of the spending bill to waste tax payer money!! Gee, I can hardly wait to catch a ride on the new monorail that’s going to run from Disneyland to Vegasland (that is when it’s built and completed….in ten or so years). Maybe I’ll catch a glimpse of M. Mouse, D. Duck, Pluto or my main man Goofy hob-nobbin’ with their fellow celebs while waitin’ to get on board and go do some gamblin’….that would be great!! Of course I thought the money from the stimulus is supposed to be spent for “shovel ready” projects in order to help the economy now….not help it ten years from now. Oh well who cares….certainly not the people who passed the bill or as near as I can see the ones who are going to have to pay for it. On the other hand I wonder who in the Peoples Democratic Republic of California (PDRC) is going to be able to afford to go to Vegasland ten years from now, by train or any other means and gamble, when (by then) their tax bill from both the feds stimulus programs and the PDRC’s insatiable apatite for money will be taking the greater part of their paychecks. Oh well….as the song says, “Don’t worry be happy.” Okay is everybody ready?? All aboooaaarrrd!!! Hey……..doesn’t that conductor look just like Harry Reid?
Frank, I can’t believe you used the v word you racist. Volcano is just a euphanism for black. Don’t you know that? Not lining up and being in complete sync with the volcano in the White House is racist. Critizing the spending of scam fran nanny is racist. Pointing out that harry reid is is a brainless love child of an ameoba and a fart is racist. Not having sympathy for morons with huge ears is racist. Not volunteering to give the govmunt all of your money for useless projects is racist. Okay making fun of joey biden is not racist cause he is a cracker too, but making fun of joey biden being the volcano’s pick is racist.
4. Eight more face lifts for Nancy Pelosi.
At which point she’d have a camel toe for a chin.
Urp! Just threw up in my mouth a little.
:p
–Don’t forget the new stationary needed for the Congressional Budget Office’s name change: “Obscenely Creative” Accounting and Stimulus Office.
–We’ll also need at least a trillion or so for useless “awareness” programs that don’t change a thing.
*Paternalistic Liberal Brownie Points
* Increased information superhighway funding to develop list-making web applications for polymorphic, encapsulated inter-platform, device-independent software weenies.
11. Serving dead Gagh to Michelle Obama.
And don’t forget the 1.2M grant for the Ted Kennedy driver safety school.
We gave George Bush and you assholes 8 years to destroy this country, which you did bangup job on. Why not give Obama more than a month to try to fix it before bashing him.
Country first, right?
At this point in George W. Bush’s first term, ballots in Florida were still being frantically counted and recounted as Algore’s minions desperately sought for proof of what they would continue to claim forever; that Bush stole the election!
Somewhere between Thomas Jefferson and Woodrow Wilson, Democrats lost the meaning of ‘Country first’.
This mad rush towards Socialism and Federal control of as many aspects of our Country as possible by the Dems seem inexplicable to me until I realized that they are fighting against a looming deadline to their schemes.
If they debated, held hearings, allowed ammendments to be proposed and in general acted like sane, rational adults, sworn to uphold and defend the Constitution as well as serve the best interests of the citizens who elected them; their greatest fear might have come to pass.
The economy might have recovered naturally, without their interference, and all the grand, glorious visions of a liberal Utopia, held at bay since 1994 when they lost control of the House of Representatives, and shoved to a back-burner by the election of a gentleman Without delusions of adequacy to the Presidency in 2000 would have been ruined for good.
But now, like a stereotypical trailerpark moron (no offense to real people who live in trailers) who suddenly wins the lottery and goes on a buying spree of outlandish garishness, they’re buying the equivilent of spinner hubs for the trailer and gold-plated flamingos for the flower bed because they don’t know how much longer they’ll have before reality intrudes and the bills come due.
If our Country survived this madness it’ll be by the hand of God; but until then those of us who can read the handwritting on the wall have a duty to save as much of this Country as we can, even though we must labor in chains to do it.
more crack for crackheads, and bigyaz’s grandchildren are buying.
The only `shovel ready`project in this Obamanation bill is the pile of crap they`re dumping on the American taxpayer