The ATF always sounded like a neat agency, but what if they also had to regulate snack food and sporting events? Then they’d be the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, Nacho Cheese, and Football. How cool would that be?
I support this. Let them spend more time regulating Nacho Cheese and Football and leave the other stuff alone! Excellent plan! We need a bunch of these guys to swoop into the NFL and watch those guys because we all know that they are up to no good!
They came for the nacho cheese, and I didn’t care because I didn’t like nacho cheese…then they came for the football, and I didn’t care because I didn’t love football…but, then they came for pizza…
See, I don’t think this would ever happen. The common thread has always been things that aren’t good for you or could be potentially dangerous. Nacho cheese and football are obviously good for you and aren’t really dangerous (well, one time I got hit by a practice field goal at halftime of a college game and spilled both my cokes so that was kind of dangerous I guess), so they don’t qualify.
They can have the tobacco , nacho cheese , and even the football (I’m tired of whinny millionaires wanting more money to PLAY a GAME) , But I will fight them down to the last round of ammo for my guns & alcahol. Now that should be a convienance store——- GUNS & ALCAHOL, I’d shop there
You know, I always heard about those ag schools down south and out west. If it turns out that ag stands for Alcohol and Guns, I’m gonna be pissed because I would have much rather gone there than my wimpy-ass northeast liberal arts college.
I thnk Nachos could be safe if they each have their own serial number and were properly registered. Alcohol is only monitored at manufacture and point of sale. It needs to be accounted for when it’s disposed of. A loaded pisshol is a dangerous weapon.
Sports would be so much better if they were more regulated. Take NASCAR, for example. It’s too boring even for me, an avid racing fan. “And random driver wins the so and so corporate sponsor 500 after all of the other cars on the lead lap ran out of fuel!” I want more crashes and fiery explosions! I want said crashes and fiery explosions to take place on a giant circle filled with traps, snipers, flame throwers, spike strips, and walls that appear out of nowhere! Only the government can solve this!
All cheese wiz should be micro stamped when it comes out of the can. This should be done on the off chance that it someday solves a crime.
Also there should be a 3 day cooling off period when purchasing potato chips. That last one would probably save more lives then the gun cooling off period ever did.
Oh, I know what I wanted to say regarding #11, midwestconservative’s “GUNS & ALCOHOL Store” (an excellent suggestion, btw):
“Come in thirsty and empty and leave hammered and loaded.”
“Rifles calibrated while-you-wait, $19.95 plus a free beer.”
“Wanted: Life-size hobo targets. Must have real blood.”
“Notice: Saturday night’s open range and BBQ at 06:00 p.m.: BYOB (bring your own babe, bring your own booze, build your own burger, bust your own buns!).”
Keep up Frank,
It is NOW, ATFE. Alcohol, tobacco,firearms, and explosives.
It’s bad enough they say they have the right to regulate alcohol, they tried that once. They called it “Prohibition”, (who cares about tobacco), but I draw the line at my guns and explosives!
The govt has already started to regulate junk food.In a lot of metropolitan areas, you’ll already pay a “junk food” tax. The idea may SOUND funny, but the reality SUCKS!
NRA Patron Life Member
Dormant U.S.Marine Semper Fidelis
Hey MarcoMancuso(#16)
How ’bout this. At each NASCAR race, one fan is randomly chosen at the gate to receive a sniper rifle and one round. They could take out their least favorite driver. That might make the other drivers stay on their best behavior with fans!
By the way, I wear that T-Shirt once a month or so, the one about ATF being a convenience store. I get a lot of agreement with the sentiment here in the midwest
Its all fun and games until the ATFNF strips you of your theater privileges for smuggling twizzlers , pretzel rods, corn nuts and two and a half gallons of natural spring water in under your jacket
“Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms should be a convenience store, not a government agency”
I saw that same shirt and was thinking about ordering it, but… well, thanks to Nobama and the People’s Republik of Hellannoys, smokes are going up 2 bucks a pack, so it’s time to quit. So it’s just A&F for me. 🙂
(first time poster, long time lurker)
ATF… the same folks who brought us the slaughter at Waco….after Ruby Ridge….
I agree with ya about 98% of the time Frank, but on this I can’t call them a “neat agency”.
Alcohol and Tobacco aside.. what part of “shall not be infringed” do they fail to understand?
They should be disbanded and prosecuted to the fullest extent.
Maybe I’m living in the past, but Texans have a long memory.
Remember the Alamo! 🙂
How come the Democrats are far more concered for the terrorists in Gitmo than the American citizens incinerated by the ther leader at Waco? I guess the Amercans had too many illegal nachos. Janet Reno could not tolerate too many illegal nachos unless properly toasted.
if the ATF was a store it would be the best store ever. I could see the ads now….. buy one ak-47 and get a free case of beer only while supplies last limit 10 per customer
The Secret Service, FBI, even the CIA have provided story lines for books and movies about heroic characters battling criminals and our nation’s enemies, but I can’t recall a single example of the BATF being portrayed as anything but bullies, buffoons or bureaucrats.
Even left-leaning TV shows like ‘Law and Order’ can’t seem to say anything good about them.
ATFNF indeed.
Somebody comment and help this anemic post out!
ATFNF, Bobby. Say it out loud.
— pause —
Like “We’re from the A Tee F’n’ eff!”.
Frank death replacement plan Fail!
I’m seeing friendly little ATFNF vendor carts at football games with the big familiar “O” logo on the side.
Jesus, has it come to this?
I support this. Let them spend more time regulating Nacho Cheese and Football and leave the other stuff alone! Excellent plan! We need a bunch of these guys to swoop into the NFL and watch those guys because we all know that they are up to no good!
stolen from t-shirt: Alcohol Tocacco & Firearms should be the name of a convienence store, not a gov’t agency.
Seen on a tee shirt:
“Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms should be a convenience store, not a government agency”
GMTA #6
They came for the nacho cheese, and I didn’t care because I didn’t like nacho cheese…then they came for the football, and I didn’t care because I didn’t love football…but, then they came for pizza…
See, I don’t think this would ever happen. The common thread has always been things that aren’t good for you or could be potentially dangerous. Nacho cheese and football are obviously good for you and aren’t really dangerous (well, one time I got hit by a practice field goal at halftime of a college game and spilled both my cokes so that was kind of dangerous I guess), so they don’t qualify.
They can have the tobacco , nacho cheese , and even the football (I’m tired of whinny millionaires wanting more money to PLAY a GAME) , But I will fight them down to the last round of ammo for my guns & alcahol. Now that should be a convienance store——- GUNS & ALCAHOL, I’d shop there
It’s all fun and games until they burn down your football stadium for suspicion of unregistered nachos.
You know, I always heard about those ag schools down south and out west. If it turns out that ag stands for Alcohol and Guns, I’m gonna be pissed because I would have much rather gone there than my wimpy-ass northeast liberal arts college.
Bureau of arseholes, trotskites, faggots, neo communists, and fairies?
Explosives, Frank! you forgot explosives. The one thing on earth that does not need regulations.
I thnk Nachos could be safe if they each have their own serial number and were properly registered. Alcohol is only monitored at manufacture and point of sale. It needs to be accounted for when it’s disposed of. A loaded pisshol is a dangerous weapon.
Sports would be so much better if they were more regulated. Take NASCAR, for example. It’s too boring even for me, an avid racing fan. “And random driver wins the so and so corporate sponsor 500 after all of the other cars on the lead lap ran out of fuel!” I want more crashes and fiery explosions! I want said crashes and fiery explosions to take place on a giant circle filled with traps, snipers, flame throwers, spike strips, and walls that appear out of nowhere! Only the government can solve this!
ATF is a jobs program for out-of-work revenooers.
All cheese wiz should be micro stamped when it comes out of the can. This should be done on the off chance that it someday solves a crime.
Also there should be a 3 day cooling off period when purchasing potato chips. That last one would probably save more lives then the gun cooling off period ever did.
Here’s an idea:
Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Munitions, Appetizers and the NFL…
BATMAN!
I was gonna say something about Federal Cheese versus Fudge and the United States Congress but just typing this made me lose my train of thought.
(And I keep remembering something about chocolate and possibly turds or “Obama Fingers” or something. But, nah, that can’t be right either.)
We have you surrounded. Come out with your Cheesy Poofs in the air.
Oh, I know what I wanted to say regarding #11, midwestconservative’s “GUNS & ALCOHOL Store” (an excellent suggestion, btw):
“Come in thirsty and empty and leave hammered and loaded.”
“Rifles calibrated while-you-wait, $19.95 plus a free beer.”
“Wanted: Life-size hobo targets. Must have real blood.”
“Notice: Saturday night’s open range and BBQ at 06:00 p.m.: BYOB (bring your own babe, bring your own booze, build your own burger, bust your own buns!).”
Keep up Frank,
It is NOW, ATFE. Alcohol, tobacco,firearms, and explosives.
It’s bad enough they say they have the right to regulate alcohol, they tried that once. They called it “Prohibition”, (who cares about tobacco), but I draw the line at my guns and explosives!
The govt has already started to regulate junk food.In a lot of metropolitan areas, you’ll already pay a “junk food” tax. The idea may SOUND funny, but the reality SUCKS!
NRA Patron Life Member
Dormant U.S.Marine Semper Fidelis
Hey MarcoMancuso(#16)
How ’bout this. At each NASCAR race, one fan is randomly chosen at the gate to receive a sniper rifle and one round. They could take out their least favorite driver. That might make the other drivers stay on their best behavior with fans!
By the way, I wear that T-Shirt once a month or so, the one about ATF being a convenience store. I get a lot of agreement with the sentiment here in the midwest
Its all fun and games until the ATFNF strips you of your theater privileges for smuggling twizzlers , pretzel rods, corn nuts and two and a half gallons of natural spring water in under your jacket
Seen on a tee shirt:
“Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms should be a convenience store, not a government agency”
I saw that same shirt and was thinking about ordering it, but… well, thanks to Nobama and the People’s Republik of Hellannoys, smokes are going up 2 bucks a pack, so it’s time to quit. So it’s just A&F for me. 🙂
(first time poster, long time lurker)
ATF… the same folks who brought us the slaughter at Waco….after Ruby Ridge….
I agree with ya about 98% of the time Frank, but on this I can’t call them a “neat agency”.
Alcohol and Tobacco aside.. what part of “shall not be infringed” do they fail to understand?
They should be disbanded and prosecuted to the fullest extent.
Maybe I’m living in the past, but Texans have a long memory.
Remember the Alamo! 🙂
” Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, Nacho Cheese, and Football. ”
Sounds like a tailgate party.
“Guns don’t kill people. BATF Agents do.”
How come the Democrats are far more concered for the terrorists in Gitmo than the American citizens incinerated by the ther leader at Waco? I guess the Amercans had too many illegal nachos. Janet Reno could not tolerate too many illegal nachos unless properly toasted.
if the ATF was a store it would be the best store ever. I could see the ads now….. buy one ak-47 and get a free case of beer only while supplies last limit 10 per customer
The Secret Service, FBI, even the CIA have provided story lines for books and movies about heroic characters battling criminals and our nation’s enemies, but I can’t recall a single example of the BATF being portrayed as anything but bullies, buffoons or bureaucrats.
Even left-leaning TV shows like ‘Law and Order’ can’t seem to say anything good about them.
ATFNF indeed.