Everyone always says “Don’t use so much paper! You’re killing trees!”
Personally, I like to think of it as “keeping lumberjacks happily employed”.
Seriously, pissing off burly guys with chainsaws is a flawed survival strategy.
Archive of entries posted on 5th October 2010
lolbama! Part 49
This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com
Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.
NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.
From DamnCat:
From Hart of That Hero:
From Kris:
From Kris:
From Kris:
From Raving Lunatic:
My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:
From Joan of Argghh:
From Kris:
From Kris:
From Larry :
From phreshone :
From Larry:
From Mike:
[reference link]
From Peregrine John:
This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:
PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.
#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.
MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.
STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.
Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.
Obama Is A… Part 2
Are Lawyers a Threat to the Environment?
You ever think about how much lawyers are hurting the environment?
I’m just thinking about all the printed legalese out there. Like you buy any electronic device, there is always a ton of legalese that no one ever reads. It may be a booklet explaining the warranty or overly detailed safety warnings or just basic CYA about it’s operation — just nonsense that doesn’t actually have to do with using the device and no one actually ever bothers to read it. And have you ever bought a house or got a loan? There’s just tons of papers to sign. Legalese is just everywhere that’s it’s almost invisible to us (partly because we’ve gotten used to ignoring it), but think of how many countless forests it took to actually print up all that verbiage that pretty much no one ever cares to read? Though printed out like it’s of interest to all, the only people who might actually ever read it are other lawyers trying to sure a company or what not. It’s almost like all this legalese is a scam to both 1) Keep lawyers employed 2) Kill trees.
Anyway, I don’t want to get all environmental, but environmentalists often use lawyers to bully people, but it would be hard to find anyone more callous about the environment than lawyers and their wasteful, printed out legalese.
Idea to Help Democrats This Midterm Election
So right now, Obama isn’t exactly helping the Democrats since he sucks and everyone knows it and he’s kinda got his suck all over his Party. So what to do? Well, I have a great idea to keep Obama from dragging down Democrats with him while also eventually raising his own popularity:
Obama should get himself trapped down a well.
You know, I really shouldn’t be giving away these ideas for free.
Anyway, this is a brilliant idea. Right now everyone hates Obama, but as soon as they hear he’s fallen down a well and is trapped down there and is scared and confused, people won’t be able to help but feel sorry for them. Now news coverage will be off of the horribly economy and instead focused on things like “How do we get the president out of the well?” and “How do we get food down to him?” and “How do we prevent other presidents from falling down wells?” And this whole time, Obama won’t be able to go around giving speeches reminded people what a failure he is. It really is the absolute best chance Democrats have, and I defy anyone to come up with a better idea for them. And once the midterm is over, Obama will finally be rescued from the well to worldwide applause with everyone saying what a brave little man he was. His approval ratings will have a huge spike.
Until he starts talking or trying to do stuff again.
Frank Ideas for an MSNBC Slogan
MSNBC has a new slogan out: “Lean Forward”
People actually get paid to come up with stuff like that? How much? I know I could do better. Here are some ideas I have for an MSNBC slogan:
FRANK IDEAS FOR AN MSNBC SLOGAN
“News for Over the Hill Hippies Who Don’t Know How to Use the Internet”
“As Biased and Partisan as the Liberals Like to Imagine FOX News Is”
“News You Can Trust… Unless You Make Eye Contact with Keith Olbermann, Then It’s News Throwing a Tantrum”
“2nd Place in the Next Medium to Die After Newspapers Is Good Enough for Us”
“If You Wonder Why It Looks Like Chris Matthews Freezes On Air, Remember We Are a Microsoft Branded Product”
“More Tools than a Home Depot”
“Please Stop Making Jokes About Rachel Maddow’s Hair”
“For the Left: Serious News. For the Right: We’re Actually a Comical Parody of the Left; We Thought It Was Obvious”
“News for the Half-Dozen People Who Still Take Keith Olbermann Seriously”
“Bad Stuff ‘Bout Republicans”
“An Angrier, Whiter Alternative to FOX News”
Random Thoughts
I’m still a little confused about the whole Rick Sanchez thing; Ted Turner is Jewish?
What I hate about The Social Network is how it cuts to black at the end before you’re certain whether it was all a dream or not.
Some of the first episode of Parker-Spitzer has leaked; they’ll need some harsh cleansers to clean it up.
Oh yeah, I’m supposed to have a kid any day now. Wonder what’s happening with that?
Can’t wait to lecture people saying, “You’d understand if you had kids.”
Dear Black Folks, Raise Your Standards, Love, Basil
There’s a new poll out. And it shows that the president’s approval rating isn’t all that great.
Except among Blacks.
According to the latest Gallup Poll (tip: Los Angeles Times Top of the Ticket), 91% of Blacks approve of the job Obama is doing, compared to 36% for Whites.
What?
91%?
Really, Black Folks?
Sometimes, I just don’t understand.
I grew up in southeast Georgia, where Blacks made up 40% of the population. We went to school together, played together, went to church together… But do I really understand Blacks?
Hell, I don’t understand my sisters, so understanding Blacks? That may be too much to ask.
Still, I did learn early on that Blacks and Whites do some things differently.
Like playing the card game Tonk. Or playing checkers with Flying Kings. And, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, then you don’t know Black Folks. Or Black Folks in the south, anyway.
Little things like that made me aware that different people … are different.
Now, it’s not just different races that do things different. Wife’s family, mostly from Alabama, for instance, has some really strange ways of playing Dominoes.
And that fits with what I learned early on: different people, whether of different races, different sexes, different locations, do and think things different from one another.
So, I suppose I’m not all that surprised that Blacks have a different opinion of Barack Obama’s job performance.
But, a difference of 91% to 36% in Obama’s approval rating? That’s more than “playing checkers with Flying Kings” different.
I suspect there’s a little bit of the whole “Black man done good” thing going on.
Only, here’s the thing: he ain’t doing all that good. And he ain’t all that Black.
It’s been a couple of years now. Time to get over that “proud of what that Black man done” thing when it comes to Obama.
Because, Obama is doing nothing positive for Blacks.
Think about this: If a politician from Georgia ran for president, what’s the first thing people would think? I’ll tell you: Jimmy Carter.
It’d be hard for someone from Georgia to get elected president. And this is nearly 30 years after Carter left office. Carter spoiled it for Sam Nunn, Zell Miller, and others who might have made decent presidents. And who knows how long it will be before any politician from Georgia could run for president and people not wonder if he’d be another Jimmy Carter?
What does that mean for Blacks? Barack Obama is the Black Jimmy Carter. Obama is screwing it up for other Blacks. He’s doing a sucky job at president. Not because he’s Black, but because he’s an incompetent fool. Just like Jimmy Carter.
So, to my Black friends — and to Blacks that aren’t my friends — that still think Obama is doing a good job: open your eyes.
And raise your standards.
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