Since Frank is obviously too busy changing diapers and trying to remember what it felt like to sleep, I figure someone ought to step in to amuse you folks for awhile, so here’s my poor imitation of a “Random Thoughts” post for you to play with. Now, be careful not to cut yourself on the sharp edges of my wit (or is that the rough edges of my unrefined attempts at humor)!
• I used to fantasize about living to see the day the Democrat caucus in Congress was so small, they could hold a party convention in a phone booth! After reading stories the last few weeks about polls showing that so many Democrats, including such vile and long-thought-to-be-permanently-unbeatable Democrat leaders as Barney Frank, John Dingell, Harry Reid, Russ Feingold, and Steny Hoyer (among others) were in serious trouble, I actually thought for one brief, shining moment, that my dream may actually have been on the verge of coming true!… Then I became disheartened when I realized that, alas, it was never going to happen… there’s no such thing as a phone booth anymore!
•Who says Dick Blumenthal has no idea how to create a job? If you ask me, he seemed to be making serious progress during that debate last week at getting Linda McMahon hired as a United States Senator!
•You’ve got to admit, God has a pretty good sense of humor. First, he gets the people of the Orlando, Florida area to elect a man who is, quite possibly, the most toxic, evil, maniacal dirtbag ever to serve in the U.S. Congress in Alan Grayson. Then, when the man who bears a striking resemblance to the Devil comes up for re-election 2 years later, he finds himself running against a man named Daniel Webster. Did Stephen Vincent Benét own a crystal ball?
•Speaking of Krystal Ball… I don’t think that’s what the old song meant by “reindeer games”… but I could be wrong!
•Krystal Ball? Seriously??? Good job, parents! Real clever! I’m sure she never got teased in school or anything. She fit right in with her classmates: Bobby Pinn, Mike Raphone, Rob Banks, Phil McCracken, Jean Splicer, Shirley Eugeste, Patty Khake. Anita Mann…
•I wish people would leave Obama alone about all the golf he’s been playing the last couple of years. After all, since O.J. got locked up in the pokey in Las Vegas, somebody had to continue his search for the “real killers” on every golf course in America!
•By the way, I think I have a great campaign slogan for Obama’s re-election effort: “‘Fore!’ more years!”
How many Democrats fit in a phone booth? I should think at least 7, if you try hard.
Oh, I used to know a Ben Toverham.
I think Linda pinned Dick after a couple of belly to belly suplexes.
It would be advisable to keep the magic koolaide, sharp objects, and sleeping pills away from the dems on nov.s 2 & 3. Just to save the coroner the trouble. I will be watching the MSM to watch the tears like the night Reagan beat Carter. Pure prime time fun.
John Lear of Lear Jet fame named hid daughter Krytal Chanda Lear. Seriously.
Krystal Ball, reindeer games, nose appliances…. the left are never boring, are they? Did anyone tell Bill Clinton about this?
We, the Ronin who infest the wiring and attic of this WordPress house, must step up to the plate with our own random thought.
* I made lasagna last night. It was so good I had to carry around a puke bucket just in case.
* I am struggling to find random thoughts at the moment.
* My family and I once ate lunch with a slightly mentally challenged person. We had a quiet conversation. After a short silence, he yelled, “I like hot dogs!” My friends, I challenge you to reach such heights of random behavior.
* Frank, get the girl started with a BB gun. When she’s big enough, get her a Marlin .22 LR. I will be very sad if you do not get her a Marlin.
* Don’t make me sad, Frank.
* Remington Thunderbolts? More like Thunderduds or Tonsoffouling.
You missed a couple of great names;
Fonda Dicks (A real name of a state basketball player in Iowa HS tournament in the 70’s) Thanks mom and dad!
Ben Dover
Dick Smoker
Dick Head
I knew girls named Pepper Ann Sault and Candy Cane.
Surprisingly Candy liked her name and was not and had never been a stripper. Pepper on the other hand (named by a drunk grandmother) was one seriously messed up person.
Then there was a former neighbor Richard Richardson
I went to school with a girl named Kelly Green and another named Gay Friend.
I worked with a lady named Pat Rear and her nephew Phil Rear.
All true, I swear.
Amanda Huginkiss. Real name. Really. honest and true!!
Ok, not really, I just like saying that.
DamnCat, I recently worked with a Kelly Green.
And, I’ve met a gal named Robin Steele. I said to my wife some years back: “Wouldn’t it be funny if your name was Robin Steele, as in Rob and Steal?” And she proceeds to tell me of a gal at her grandmother’s church with that name, albeit, via marriage. When I met her a couple of years later, it was all I could do to keep a straight face.
My dad worked with a guy named Dick Hymendinger.
Oh, and the kid down the street, Zip Upham.
Anita Mann got married and went to grad school. She’s Anita Grant now, working on Russell’s Paradox under Professor Barbara Seville.
(Bonus points if you get the obscure math reference.)
My mom knew a girl named Mary Christmas. She married a guy named Easter, so she became Mary Christmas Easter. No kidding.
That last one was actually pretty good.
Princess Buttercup, SarahK, FrankJ – This family sounds like the characters in a song from The Wild, The Innocent And The E Street Shuffle.
That is more than enough reason for Springsteen to want to sue somebody for something.
Spacemonkey and Ducky are currently looking through their album collections, muttering.
I found out the difference between a joke and a practical joke when I came across a phone booth filled with 20 skeletons and a lock on the door.
Yes, phone booths are long gone, but they still have restroom stalls. Only trouble is, nobody wants to stand too close to Barney Frank.
And then there was the famous Russian, Itore Titzoff…. No. really, it’s true. Honest.
Krystal Ball … does anyone else just think of a stripper when you hear that name?
How could you guys forget the infamous Seymour Butts?
Heh-heh, Little Stiny, Badpresident’s sidekick. Get me a waffle!
My wife used to have a family of patients when she worked at the clinic named Hunter, Sage, Ivy, and Forest Green
Having a name that’s easly madefun of…. You go by another one you make up or man up and grow a sence of humor.
You might want to check on frank to ensure he’s changing that diaper right. It took me a while to figure out where the cloth pin was suposed to go. But it didn’t take me too long after that to figure out disposable diapers don’t use pins.