I can’t possibly imagine anyone who wouldn’t want to hear Glenn Beck gloat about the election results.

(via Ace)

Can’t believe solving the last riddle took so long. Thought it would be too easy since I posted on the day of the first game of the World Series. Anyway, Elliot wins the HIGH PRAISE.

Now, riddle me this…

I cherish you,
But I stab you to destroy another.
And by your wounds
It is known who has failed.

Be the first to solve the riddle and write the answers in the comments and that HIGH PRAISE you’ve waited your whole life for will finally be yours!

I guess we do need a gloating thread. I’ll get things started:

President Obama, I think the American people had a clear message: Get away from the car, you idiot. Now make yourself useful and fetch us some Slurpees.

First off, let’s all take a moment out of our day to laugh at Alan Grayson.

Done?

So, what to say about all this? The gains in the House are +60 right now with 13 races left to be called, +6 in the Senate with 3 races left to be called, and +8 in governors with 9 left to be called. Also, I’m hearing that something like 19 state legislatures have flipped. On the House, that’s above expectations — historic, really — but expect Democrats to focus on the Senate where Republicans are below polling expectations to try and spin this as mixed results. There were a few screw ups there — and I’m not going to name names — as there were a number of seats that could have been picked up if we nominated people a bit less… crazy.

Well, live and learn… unless you’re Obama. He’ll come out today blaming this on people not understanding his policies. And now we’ll spend two years trying to block his idiocy (he could barely get things passed with a Democrat majority; now he has to convince at least dozens of Republicans to go along with him). And I wouldn’t expect to be able to pass anything useful since Obama has made it is cause in life to be obstacle to useful things, but that shouldn’t stop the GOP from trying.

Anyway, the main lesson from the election is that if you suck and are stupid — like Obama — you will have a big defeat. So it’s nice to know while that’s not true of certain states like California, it is still true of the nation at large. Now it is up to the Republicans to start to learn how to not suck and be stupid. That is a lot of learning for them.

2012 will still be mainly in the control of Obama. If he somehow learns how to not be horrendous and an enemy of all that is good, Democrats should be able to do well in 2012. And if pigs learn how to fly, that will revolutionize how we export bacon.

Anyway, GOP presidential primary for 2012 starts today. Who do you want?

UPDATE 0129:

Yeah. Me go sleepy now. Have thoughts in morning as too sleepy for thoughts now. The
NYTimes shows 57+ solid gains right now in the House with many still left to be called. That’s a refudiation.

So what next?

UPDATE 0115:

Had to correct my post as I realized there is no such thing as 24 o’clock.

Might head to bed soon. Doubtful we’ll learn much on Alaska quickly (write-in currently leads!), but I wanted to at least see what happened with my own district (ID-1). Can voting the right way on everything except Pelosi as speaker save a Democrat? Well, Minnick is behind by 8 right now with 21% reporting.

Anyway, a good night for Republicans… with hopefully some lessons learned about electability.

UPDATE 0031:

FOX News is calling it that Harry Reid has won reelection — the one thing that could ruin my evening. It should actually help the GOP in the 2012, but man that sucks that decrepit weirdo is still going to be leading the majority in the Senate.

UPDATE 0010:

Apparently, Etheridge hasn’t conceded, but the votes may not be close enough for a recount.

Anyone know if he supports the Obama agenda? Someone should ask him.

UPDATE 2356:

Looking like Kirk is going to take Obama’s former Senate seat in Illinois.

Good headline for tomorrow: “America takes Obama’s advice and punishes its enemies.”

Alternate headline: “Aqua Buddha is powerful and should not be angered.”

UPDATE 2337:

TOOMSDAY!!!

I’m hearing Toomey is the winner in Pennsylvania, so the defeat of Arlen Specter is now complete.

Also, Alan West is said to have won despite word getting out that he is sometimes mean to enemies of our country.

UPDATE 2325:

Don’t know if Bob “Who Are You!” Etheridge has conceded, but all votes are in and Renee Ellmers is up by nearly 2,000 votes. It looks like she won… and I helped! She was a huge underdog with nowhere near the funding of the incumbent, but it looks like she stood up and made it happen anyway. Congratulation to her, and I’m sure she’ll do a great job… probably with less violence. We need more regular people in Congress.

UPDATE 2314:

Oh, and Phil Hare, the guy who looks like a cartoon character and doesn’t care about the Constitution, he lost.

UPDATE 2309:

I’m listening to Huckabee make a Twilight analogy about the election. That guy is so hip and with it.

Boxer is projected to win in California. Over 30 million people in California, and that’s the best they can come up with. Brown will be governor again, since things have gone so great there in the past. Don’t you sometimes wish California could just wither and fall off?

UPDATE 2240:

Feingold projected to lose to… some guy who isn’t Feingold. That’s a big drop in the liberal meter in the Senate.

Nate Silver is now projecting 64-65 seat gain for GOP.

UPDATE 2236:

Niki Haley now projected to win as governor in South Carolina. She like a minority and a woman, so the southern Republicans voting for her must have really got confused or something.

UPDATE 2203:

Looking like at least a sixty seat gain for Republicans… bigger than 1994. We’ll have to wait to see exactly how big.

Things are neck and neck with Ellmers slightly ahead of the North Carolina Strangler with 75% in. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Oh, and McCain is now projected as winning. yay

New Mexico has elected a wise Latina as governor, wise enough to be a Republican.

UPDATE 2134:

Here’s a picture of me live blogging with my laptop, my iPad, and my Buttercup.

UPDATE 2115:

Barney Frank wins reelection. Well, it was nice to dream the dream. What a bunch of weirdos that would choose him over an Iraq vet who builds robots.

UPDATE 2115:

FOX News now projection GOP control of House with a 60 seat gain. I have a baby strapped to me.

UPDATE 2104:

NBC news is already projecting that Republicans will take the House by a wide margin. But Pelosi said exit polls showed they were on pace to keep their majority!

UPDATE 2057:

I should mention that just because Republicans don’t win the Senate outright doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t be able to control it. Senator-elect Manchin along with Ben Nelson and Lieberman will be ripe for party switching. “Come… to the dark side. You get to make fun of poor people.”

Also, I just want to mention again how awesome it is that Crist loss hugely. It renews my faith in humanity to know his political career is over.

UPDATE 2043:

I meant to say this earlier today so it wasn’t just like was reacting to returns, but I’d kinda rather not win the Senate this year. It will be much easier 2012 (six years after 2006 with lots of vulnerable Dems up for reelection) to get a majority, plus I think it will also be easier against Obama when he can’t just blame everything on Congress being controlled by the GOP (not that he doesn’t already try that).

UPDATE 2040:

It’s officially projected that Grayson has lost — and lost hugely. More Democrats really should emulate him!

UPDATE 2037:

The only House member Obama has campaigned for — Perriello — has lost. Pundits are blaming it on how Obama is stupid and everyone hates him.

UPDATE 2020:

So do you think those virgin sacrifices to Aqua Buddha are paying off so far?

UPDATE 2004:

Marco Rubio projected to win in Florida, perhaps getting more vote than Meek and worst example of a politician ever Crist added together. I have pretty much the same reaction to Rubio that I had to Obama when I first saw him in 2004… except he’s on our side! No wonder the Donks were so desperate to stop him.

Definitely worth a crazed Ewok eating pudding in celebration.

It’s also already projected that O’Donnell didn’t win. Too many voters didn’t believer her when she said she was a witch. They also agreed with Reid’s assessment of Coons that he’d make a nice pet.

Blumenthal is projected to win as well. I don’t like that guy. From my experience serving with him in Vietnam, he is not trustworthy.

UPDATE 1948:

It should be noted that Alvin Greene did not win. He did not have the fire in the belly.

UPDATE 1937:

From Tony Hernandez, a remembrance of an election one decade past.

UPDATE 1928:

Still apprehensive until I get more results. The thing is, only getting Republican gain in the 50s range would be a disappoint with all the hype. Less than that…

From Nathan Wurtzel:

Early returns in FL-8 (Grayson) are…hilarious. Webster up 63-28 with 6% counted.

—

It’s on! I’ll keep updating this post with what’s going on (and the other IMAO bloggers are free to add to this as well) and will also be pretty active on teh Twitters. In fact, if I could set it up for one night for all my tweets to appear on my blog, I would… but I’m a lazy lazy man.

Anyway, Rand Paul is already declared a winner. He was waning in the polls, a few days ago, but then he started head stomping hippies and he was unstoppable.

Also, make sure to check out Mary Katharine Ham’s new video finding an interesting parallel between the Rally for Sanity and Inception.

Now keep refreshing IMAO waiting for the next update!

As we all know, the New York Times is very anti-freedom. They have Paul Krugman going on and on about how the government needs to be bigger and Tom Friedman has a love affair with China and just wished Obama could be dictator for a little while to get things done. But there as one aspect of being a European that at least even the New York Times stayed away from… until now.

Now, they want us to smell bad.

Yes, a whole article on how silly Americans bathe too much and use this unneeded thing called “deodorant.” Why can’t we all just be smelly hippies like people in Europe? It’s so much more economical, and being stinky let’s you better commune with nature which also smells bad. But if I don’t have my daily shower, how am I supposed to use my Old Spice bodywash and smell like the guy from the commercial?

So liberals aren’t just satisfied with taking away our freedom, our money, our foods we love — in the end they won’t declare victory until we smell bad too. And maybe they’ll stop you from shaving, and then you’ll spend all day looking at yourself in the mirror and punching yourself for being a hippie.

This is your future if there isn’t a big victory against liberals today.

Just in time for Election Day with all the voting and stuff, I have a new Pajamas Media column up on how to tell smart people from stupid ones. It’s good advice that will help you vote better (though everyone on the ballot is probably stupid).