The Debt

So we’re like at $14.3 trillion in national debt now. It’s so high, that it’s hard for people to even comprehend the number. Like we’d be more outraged at a few hundred billion in debt because we can somewhat visualize that number, but this 14.3 trillion is just beyond understand. That means if you had a suitcase of one million dollars, you’d need 14.3 million of them to pay off the debt.

Good news, though. According the CIA World Factbook, the GDP for the world is $74.48 trillion. That means there is still enough money in the entire world to pay off our debt, so it’s theoretically possible. Here’s my new bold plan to pay off the debt: A daring heist of the World Bank, the bank where the world keeps its money. If we could just balance the budget so we add no new debt and rob the World Bank, we could be debt free. Of course, that would upset a lot of other countries and they’d be like, “Woe is us! Our money has been stolen!” And then we’d be like, “Well, good news! We’re paying off our debt now. So here’s some money.” And they’d be like, “Wow! Thanks, America! You’re the greatest!” And we’d be like, “Yes, we are the greatest, and never forget it.”

I can’t even imagine a downside to this plan.

16 Comments

  1. Well, that plan works perfectly for people like Obama. Stealing is fun!

    But what about the rest of us? I’m going to plant my vegetables, clean my rifle, buy some more ammo, pump some iron (A true conservative man can’t be a weakling like Obama), and count the minutes until money becomes as worthless as the Democratic Party itself.

  2. World “Where did you get that money? Did you steal it?”

    United States” How dare you !! We found it under the matress. You were robbed by Suntited Ustates. Ask Ronald Dumsfld.”

  3. I say we just finally issue invoices to other countries for all the times we saved their butts then helped them rebuild their miserable countries. They’ll end up owing us money. Hey China, remember how the Japs were marching through your country before the US took them out? Yep, you’re welcome…now, pay up.

  4. Let’s start with the French and they will send out the ghey little cars that have the ghey little siren and we will be driving a 1972 Dodge Roadrunner with a 440 4 bbl and Headers! We can flip the French cops the bird before we take off with all their money and a couple of their women too!

  5. Just monetize it. Lower the debt ceiling to zero, have the treasury print enough new dollars to pay off all current bonds as they come due, and POOF, the debt is gone. It also takes the bite out of all those nasty underfunded public pension funds. I know what you are thinking; won’t that devalue people’s savings?

    Yes, it will, but who is stupid enough to hold cash these days? Oh, the Chinese you say? Too bad, so sad. The same thing happened to them in the Victorian period when the world switched from silver to gold, leaving the Chinese empty-handed. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. They should have known better. What are they going to do; refuse to sell us their low-cost Wal-Mart goodies for dollars and cause their own economy to collapse?

    Of course nobody in their right mind would ever loan the US government another penny after a huge monetization so the government could only spend what it can afford going forward. You think that is a problem? Me neither.

  6. We just tell the world we had their money but Sasquatch stole it, well her husband did. So we wouldn’t be lying.

    Robbing the world bank won’t help because that is where all the phony money we borrowed is.

    We can get other countries like china to not only forgive our current debt, but continue to loan us money by threatening to have rosie odonnell move there.

  7. I just have to point out that in #6, Burma, you’d need to rob 1,000 banks of that much money to cover the national debt.

    I mean, that 14.3 billion you asked for is chump change – we got the democrats to agree to almost 3 times that much in “cuts” to this year’s budget.

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