I have a new column in the New York Post on how we need to update the Bill of Rights so it guarantees us actual stuff we can use.
Obviously, we’re much more sophisticated now. We aren’t like the Founding Fathers, with their primitive fear of government and thunder. We need to update this silly, archaic Bill of Rights, which puts all this emphasis on “freedom” with no mention of the much more important “free stuff.” If we don’t act, other countries will make fun of us for it — and who wants to be tittered at by Belgium?
Read it, enjoy it, like it on Facebook, and then come back and tell me how smart and clever I am.
If we would just write the new bill of rights on a roll of toilet paper if we ever ran out of room we could just make more. It would also be easier to use it for the other pyrpose
If we would just write the new bill of rights on a roll of toilet paper if we ever ran out of room we could just make more. It would also be easier to use it for the other purpose thr current administration discovered for a bill of rights. Maybe change the name to bill of entitlements when nobody is looking too
Have read your article and assaulted a lib who is too stupid to have any rights and I hereby vote him off the island. I love venturing into the wilds
Frank, I have to say it was the funniest thing I read today and those trolls on the NY Post website no nothing of funny. I would have posted there but I don’t do the facebook thing becasue I think it steals your soul, kinda like cameras do to pygmies.
Well, one thing’s for sure: you’re smart and clever… to get Harvey back writing Newsish Fakery!!
Oh, and your article made me momentarily reverse-snort some coffee. (Is that “blowback” or “feedback?”)
I think that while BHO and his Chicago gang are hard at work making this old, conservative “Bill of Rights” more inclusive and invasive they should start at the top. Instead of “Bill of Rights” it needs a more gender neutral name. “Chris of Rights” or “Pat of Rights”, something not as SEXIST as the one those founding fathers came up with!! Also..as it gets rewritten, they should take the word “Rights” out since it will now reflect the views of those on the Left. So, I look forward to reading the 10 ammendments of the new “Dana of Lefts”. It should be printed around one of those chimney cleaning logs..so at least homeowners like me get SOME benefit out of it.
Smart. Clever? It MUST be Frank.
FrankJ:
I know I have said things implying that Romney “can’t connect with people,” that he is “robotic,” and and that he lacks the charisma, pizazz and spontaneity of other past presidential candidates, like Michael Dukakis and John Kerry.
However, I saw this video, and I must admit, at least when speaking back in 2002, Romney was engaging and able to connect with his audience.
http://youtu.be/bM_si-JVfhI
So, just to let you know, I stand corrected. Romney can act somewhat like a human being at times.
Best Regards,
Monkey Faced Liberal
P.S. When Romney is the nominee, how will you demonstrate your support for him, and help ensure he beats the evil, incompetent Obama in the fall?
Lawn signs? Bumper stickers? Buttons? Campaign contributions? Volunteering for the phone bank?
Silly me. Given how awful you think Obama is, it will be all of the above! Have fun!
Frank J,
You are so smart and clever that if smart and clever were basketballs, you would be Spalding. And if you also happened to skipper a ship, we could call you Captain Spalding, and go “Hooray, Hooray, Hooray!”
I like your troll who never heard of the 13th Amendment or the inauguration of Obama. “BUT WHAT ABOUT SLAVERY AND BUSH?!”
BTW I’m going to buy some Diamond Crystal Pellets even though the ad gives no clue what they’re for.
If that chick Sandra Fluke can get her freak on for free, then I want free beer in the new bill of rights.
Frank J = smart, clever
But not as funny as Buttercup!
That was so scrumtralescent that I could barely move.
Jimmy – I didn’t *want* to write another Newsish Fakery, but Frank said he’d punch me “like a hippie” if I didn’t.
Good for Frank, Harvey. Keep writing or we’ll ALL “punch you like a hippie!!!”
Like Frank’s pieces in the NYPost and PJM, your Newsish posts are perfect works of art.
But then, I’m just a choir.
“There is nothing progressive about being pig-headed and refusing to admit a mistake. And I think if you look at the present state of the world it’s pretty plain that humanity has been making some big mistake. We’re on the wrong road. And if that is so we must go back. Going back is the quickest way on”
― C.S. Lewis, The Case for Christianity
I laughed. I laughed really hard.
Very cromulent piece, Frank. I await Buttercup’s first post. I’m not sure that I agree that she’s funnier than you, but she’s definitely cuter.