[High Praise! to my blogless brother Tom]
Usually I’m up on what JibJab cranks out, but I missed this video from back in 2010 [Caution: contains cartoon violence]:
Unnecessary Force with Palin, Clinton, Fey, Leno, and Letterman
[Sorry, embedding disabled. You have to go to the link]
Raise your hand if you wish Hollywood would’ve made this instead of Battleship.
“I’m 1/32 Cherokee!”
“Harvard’s First Woman of Color”
Really, how much worse can it get for this woman?
Ok, since you asked, how about…
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1) Once described President Obama as “the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.” Settled with Joe Biden out-of-court on a plagiarism suit.
2) Banned dancing in the town of Bomont. When a spunky rebel who played by his own rules moved to town and incited the local teenagers to dance in violation of the law, she had the sheriff arrest everyone within six degrees of Kevin Bacon.
3) In 2004, was jailed for insider-trading cattle futures with Hillary Clinton. Served five months as Martha Stewart’s prison-bitch.
4) Committed a burglary at the Watergate Hotel. Later tracked down because she inadvertently left behind autographed copies of “Pow Wow Chow.”
5) Uh oh… guess who Ted Kennedy’s Driver’s Ed teacher was?
6) Candid snapshots of Elizabeth drunkenly dancing around naked with a bomb on her head revealed to be the inspiration for the infamous riot-causing Mohammed cartoon.
7) Wrote the letter that finally convinced the executives at Fox to cancel Firefly.
8) “Hey Barack… want me to punch up those presidential bios for you?”
9) Shot J.R.
10) Loaded 16 tons. What did she get? Another day older and deeper in debt. Then a bailout from Obama.
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Just the tip of the iceberg. Speaking of which, turns out she’s also 1/32 Titanic Captain.
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UPDATE: Linked by The Hope for America
[High Praise! to The Best of Times in a Moogie’s World]
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #4,248,792)
Maybe Romney should license this as his campaign theme song.
Backstory here. [Short version, the Christian middle school coach who wrote, sang, and produced this video was fired for it]
I thought the “Obama messing with Presidential Bios” thing was played out. Guess it’s never over until The Looking Spoon photoshops a fat lady singing (metaphorically speaking):
Great Moments In Presidential History With Obama
And via of The Looking Spoon [High Praise!] comes this from Liberal Logic 101, a site which I recommend regular visitations of:
Explaining reality to a liberal
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
* Got this email from the DNC entitled “Its largest ad assault against President Obama yet” complaining about all the negative ads targeted at Obama. It’s kind of funny.
“Obama has been a really horrible president, and now the extreme right-wing and Karl Rove are spending millions noticing that.”
It would be nice to have more positive campaigns, but it’s hard when your opponent is Obama-level horrible. It doesn’t really matter if the other guy is any good, just don’t reelect the failure.
* You know how I said Cory Booker is becoming my favorite Democrat? While on Meet the Press Sunday, he defended Bain Capital and denounced attacks on private equity. That’s pretty damaging to the Obama campaign, so they’ve already pushed Booker into walking back his accidental blurting of the truth. As John Podhoretz says, “Cory Booker fears Obama more than he fears fire.”
Maybe Booker should consider becoming a Republican. We can speak our mind freely. …Well, you might get called a RINO if you’re not careful.
* The Democrats have completely given up on the white working class. Their coalition is basically just going to be college educated white and minorities. Or, to see it more accurately, it’s going to be lower class minorities and college educated whites to rule them and tell them what to do. That’s healthy; I’m sure that will last a long time.
Does it disturb anybody else that basically no white males vote for the Democrats anymore, but that’s still most of their leadership?
* Could the Elizabeth Warren thing get anymore hilarious? It’s like a slow motion trainwreck of awesome. It’s not just a blond-haired, blue-eyed hypocritical liberal claiming to be a minority or just that her evidence of her minority status is that she wrote a recipe for crab and mayonaisse for a book called “Pow Wow Chow,” it’s that she apparently plagiarized that recipe. Could she be anymore awful?
Early on, I got this John Edwards vibe from her when this rich white woman was raging against the rich to the cheers of dumb liberals, and it ends up she is just as horribly slimy and dishonest. Rich people who rail against rich people are all horrible, dishonest people and probably sociopaths. It should have been obvious with Edwards, and it should have been obvious with Warren.
One of the greatest times in my life was when the Super Soaker just came out and I was the only kid in a water gun fight who had one.
The Super Soaker revolutionized kid-soaking technology. Using it against old tech water guns was like an Abrams tank versus a chariot.
If I had $20 billion dollars, if two appetizers at Chili’s looked good, I’d just get both of them.
Nah. I’d still have to think about my health. I guess I’d still just get one.
Being a billionaire has to be like having god-mode on in a video game. If you can just buy anything you want, takes the challenge out.
Still, if you have a bunch of billions and thus have a spare billion you don’t really need, I’ll take it.
I wonder if Zuckerberg tithes? That will be quite a surprise for the collection basket. New pews!
Which presidential candidate is promising to increase Diablo III server stability?
Make sure to Follow Friday me. I’d Follow Friday you if I weren’t self-centered.
Statement from Mark Zuckerberg: “To celebrate, I bought a new hoodie, but it’s itchy and I miss my old hoodie.”
If I had $20 billion, I’d put a dollar in the Starbucks tip jar even if I was just getting a small coffee.
No wait; then I’d have to start carrying cash.
If they put me on CNN, I could get their ratings up. Do they have a puppeteer on hand?
I work hard so one day I can spend all my time playing video games. Not sure what the family is for, though. Oh yeah: multiplayer.
Now that Buttercup understands more English, she can more accurately disobey us.
Truth: Rich people who rail against rich people are extremely dishonest. #JohnEdwards #ElizabethWarren
Poor people who rail against rich people are greedy.
While idly flipping through the referer logs, I came across a useless site that someone clicked the IMAO link on. Here’s a screenshot:
You’re reading that right, we beat out www.adultschat.us, which came in a pathetic 46th place.
Moon Nuker Pride, Worldwide!
[High Praise! to gun-totin-wacko of HistorySnark]
The way GTW explains it, having President Obama insert himself into other presidents’ bios kinda make sense. For example:
President Eisenhower spent eight years in the White House. He’s best known today for a few habits that he had, since his presidency was a period of amazing growth. For instance, did you know that Ike smoked? And like Ike, Obama smokes too! So he’s carrying on the legacy of Ike’s booming economy by providing stimulus to the tobacco industry.
Eisenhower also is viewed as the father of the Interstate Highway System. He became aware of the need for better roads when, as a young Army officer, he took part in an exercise to see how well troops could be transported across the country. As president, he started the highway construction boom we have today. And Obama, like Eisenhower, is spending billions of dollars on the highways of America. It’s just that the work done under the current administration is either not really being done, or it was already funded. But hey- he’s building on Ike’s legacy yet again!
Eisenhower is also known for having a fondness for golf. Of course, he sometimes felt he had other things to do, and it’s also easier to go golfing when the country and the economy isn’t in the crapper, but Obama is making a point of building on his legacy of golf. Ike might even have helped popularize the game, and Obama… well he golfs a lot. A LOT! So he’s just like Ike!
Plenty more. Just click the link.
[High Praise! to Jimmy]
Consider this a Rorschach Test for your belief in free markets.
I look at these pictures and feel an almost spiritual sense of awe and wonder to think that men could build such things, and – despite the obvious and incredible amounts of cash sunk into this sprawling landscape of engineering wonders – still run the operation at a profit.
Hippies will think of oily birds & cry:
The Canadian Oil Sand Mines Refused Us Access, So We Rented This Plane To See What They Were Up To
Have some oxygen nearby. These pictures are breathtaking.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Not only is the blue-eyed, blonde-haired 1/32 Cherokee proud of her Native American heritage, she’s also proud to copy other people’s work and pass it off as her own.
The credibility of Massachusetts Democratic Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren took another hit today as Boston radio talk show host Howie Carr released evidence that appears to confirm Ms. Warren may have plagiarized at least three of the five recipes she submitted to the 1984 Pow Wow Chow cookbook edited by her cousin Candy Rowsey.
Knowing full well that Moon Nukers are never content with a simple head-shake & tsk-tsk when there’s mockery to be had, I asked Les of Brick Moon [High Praise!] to re-work the cover of the cook-book in question.
Here’s the original:
Here’s the new & improved version.
Anyway, I’m sure that, very soon, Elizabeth will be doing the liberal news talk-show circuit to explain how she actually submitted 200 recipes, and thus fails to meet the 1/32 threshold required to be considered a Plagiarist-American.
Although I’m sure Harvard will still refer to her as their first “Woman of Copy.”
[High Praise! to Arik]
To 2nd Amendment types like us, these are a mildly amusing curiosity.
To gun control nuts, it’s “brainwashing children” – the firearms version of candy cigarettes.
Irritating them is why I’m posting this video:
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #236,804)
UPDATE: Linked by The Silicon Graybeard
This originally appeared in the New York Post.
At some point, we are going to have to face the fact that we’re never going to deal with the serious problems in our county. The economy is still faltering, our debt seems insurmountable, gas prices are out of control, and terrorists are still trying to blow us up with their underwear. So what’s the big issue dominating the presidential race right now? Gay marriage.
I have noticed a few things about the problems we face. They are all a great threat to our way of life, they all must be handled right away, and they are all extremely boring. I mean, most of these are the exact same problems we dealt with back in the ‘70s — no one solved them then, because they were distracted by the president being a bitten by a rabbit. We’d love some fun new problems (“The polar ice caps are going to melt if we don’t change our light bulbs!”), but instead we’re stuck with these old stale ones. And while we all understand it’s imperative that we tackle these problems, as soon as we try to sit down and focus on them, we find out teenage Mitt Romney cut some guy’s hair, and we want to spend all our time discussing that.
I’m starting to worry that maybe we are no longer even physically capable of focusing on the real threats to our nation. In olden times, people had long attention spans for boring things like debt problems, because all they had were tedious black-and-white movies with no CGI, and all the kids had to play with were sticks and rocks. We have advanced technology and entertainment now, so we just can’t pay attention to the important things for long enough anymore (I’m checking Twitter on my smartphone as I write this). And it’s been going on for some time. Based on news coverage, one of the biggest political events of my lifetime was when the Vice President misspelled “potato”.
And it’s not like we can leave it to the politicians to solve our problems, because they’re not any better. When President Obama took office, he saw the joblessness and faltering economy and said, “I don’t feel like dealing with that; I’ve got this fun new health care plan.” What a fun time we had quarrelling about that one — it really took our minds off the skyrocketing unemployment.
Republicans are no help either. They keep repeating to themselves, “Just focus on the economy and jobs!” but then some social issue pops up, and they can’t help themselves, because if there is one thing the right and the left agree on this country, it’s that social issues are fun to pointlessly argue about. And what’s great is that we’ll always be able to argue about them, because they never get solved.
So what do we do? Our real problems are boring, but we wouldn’t mind dealing with them if we could come up with fun solutions to them that involve explosions and kung fu fighting. Except there aren’t any. It’s all mind-numbing budget stuff, and my eyes are glazing over just thinking about it. Maybe we’ll just have to put Ritalin in the water the way we add fluoride to maybe help us all focus. Because otherwise the only time our economy and the national debt will be interesting enough to hold our attention is when the country has already collapsed. That will really grab everyone’s interest, because you’ve seen how popular all those zombie apocalypse shows and movies are. I’ll bet when the government falls, the nation will divide into smaller regions ruled by warlords. I could totally be one of those. I have a shotgun, and I could make a scary-looking metal mask to wear all the time. And I’d come up with a cool name like “The Decimator.” It would be awesome.
Wait. What was I talking about? Did you hear Obama ate a dog?
[High Praise! to Weisshaupt]
It’s got some swears in it, but this is the most viscerally accurate description of the deeper philosophical implications of the Chevy Volt that you’ll ever read:
The Car We Were Forced To Build
For those who only like clean language, here’s a post from Adaptive Curmudgeon’s series on the Occupy movement:
Full Examination Of Hobby Protest (Part II Of My OWS Analysis)
You’ll need these definition from part I:
Hobby Protest – noun: A form of protest where participants engage in theatric activities for the joy of the experience itself and not necessarily for the advancement of their goals (if they have any).
Serious Protest – noun: A form of protest characterized by groups of people who have a serious grievance and are determined to get what they want. Serious protests are undertaken only by people who have exhausted other attempts to gain their objectives.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
