[via American Digest, emphasis mine]
You would think that President Obama would be received as something of a hero by NALEO, the National Association of Latino Elected Officials, before whom Obama is giving a speech this afternoon in Orlando. But the Secret Service wasn’t taking any chances. As hundreds of Latino elected officials were enjoying their lunch at Disney’s Contemporary Resort earlier today, it was announced that forks would be collected before Obama took the stage. It was also mentioned that knives, too, were entirely absent from the lunch for “a reason.”
Superman has his kryptonite, apparently Obama has flatware.
What else needs to be cleared out of a room before Obama shows up?
I speculate thusly:
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1) Slow, chubby dogs
2) Stray hooker-panties the Secret Service may have dropped.
3) Tamales (only if Michele’s in the room).
4) Very large soda cups (just as dangerous as buckets, stuck-head-wise)
5) Ayn Rand novels
6) Choom (it’s like Barack’s tamale, and we don’t want donors getting trampled)
7) Shin-high coffee tables
8) Lie detectors (unless they’re turned off or set to vibrate, otherwise it’s like having Joe Wilson in the room)
9) All the brown M&Ms
10) Big red buttons that say “DANGER! DO NOT PRESS!”
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11. Common Sense. Obama and common sense are like matter & anti-matter.
Me. I can’t even be in the same room with a TV emanating its face and voice. Physical illness results.
They didn’t want any forks in the room because this guy is done.
Teaspoons, for their Tea Party affiliations.
Not all latinos stab people…racist!
There may be a valid reason why big red buttons shouldn’t be pushed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=316AzLYfAzw
Attendees of Obama fund raising events literally have their phones collected at the door. Given Obama’s propensity to accidentally say what he means, open mikes and cell phones are the greatest existential threat he faces.
carton of Marlboros.
So the Blue Rajah is out to get him, “An effete British superhero, to be precise. I am pilfering your tableware because I hurl it. I hurl it with a deadly accuracy. The Blue Raja is my name. And yes, I know I don’t wear much blue and I speak in a British accent, but if you know your history it really does make perfect sense. “
A real job, an I.Q. test, or the U. S. Constituion ?
Here’s that reference link bruceb forgot:
http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0011379/
No wonder I never heard of, much less saw this this movie…it has both Ben Stiller AND Janeane Garofalo in it!
Mystery Men was before Garofalo got all political and stuff.
Seeing her now is like seeing an old high school pal strung out on meth.
Sad, really.