he drove to the store that government built in the car that government built using the gas that government built to buy the goods that the government built with the money that the government made, just like a regular American.
…to buy a gift for his asthmetic friend. Needless to say, his friend was very confused by his new “inhalator.”
…but instead of buying anything he tried to sell them health insurance. The owner turned him around and ordered him “Forward.”
…for a “green” car, which may explain the singe marks on his eyebrows.
…but was unable to buy anything, since that establishment did not accept handwritten IOUs placing the debt on their children.
…but was thwarted by the “No certificate, no service” sign out front.
…and clumsily knocked over one of the displays, which he blamed on Bush.
…at a hardware store, where he shouted “You didn’t build that!” at all the patrons. Unfortunately, this store was hosting an anger management group for construction workers. The result was not pretty, involving both buckets and heads.
…only to discover that PetSmart is not a grocery store, and thus was understandably upset when he tried to eat their inventory.
He bought an iPod and some Nike Shoes. Had a cuppa at the Starbucks and some fries at Mickey D’s. Grabbed a few Disney DVDs for the girls and some Louboutins for Michelle. All in all a good day and some good bargains on things that were created due to government investment and roads.
. . . and bought a new dictionary. Paralegal, paramedics, Ok, different things. . . . Oh, that’s how you pronounce corpsman. . . . “I knew ‘gullible’ was here. Hey, wait a minute!”
And the security guard asked him to turn out his pockets.
….expected Stock Market rally fizzles…
…….first he tried to buy a clue, when he couldn’t find one he tried to buy an instinct, he finally settled for a “feeling”.
the bill came to $1.7 trillion and he came home with nothing. Wasn’t his money anyway.
…couldn’t find a clue.
…and I still haven’t figured out why I paid for it.
he didn’t have any money so he used his grandkids credit cards
…and John Roberts cheered.
for a new home.
but when the checker asked for payment, he just stared at her blankly, really confused.
but his Volt ran out of juice before it got to the Whole Foods store.
and Joe ran himself over with the cart.
cause he had the munchies real bad, and Bill Ayers was coming over with the good stuff.
…for some big boy pants – but there were all too big.
…and all I got was this lousy T-Bill.
and came back with a donkey, a pinata, and a string of beads. Don’t ask.
well actually he didn’t go shopping. It was the government that allowed him to go shopping.
He bought the Brooklyn Bridge.
Former President Obama went shopping… and lived happily ever after, to the end of his days.
…and Joe Biden got to ride in the carriage like a big boy.
… on his 747, halfway around the world, along with multiple planes full of press and security all while being fiscally responsible.
and tried to pay with a race card, but it was declined.
for the new suit he’ll need for his upcoming job interviews.
At his favorite store, Marxists r Us
he drove to the store that government built in the car that government built using the gas that government built to buy the goods that the government built with the money that the government made, just like a regular American.
and he ended up in an altercation in the pharmacy when he was told he had to pay for his own condoms.
at Petco to replenish his supply of Bo look-alikes. Summer BBQs have taken their toll.
…and blamed bush for the higher prices
. . . and had the bill sent to me.
. . . but got his car stuck in the ditch on the way home
. . . for all the things that nobody built
. . . but even he was smart enough not to buy a General Motors or Chrysler product
for a new idea, but he didn’t like any of them.
President Obama Went Shopping…which was very odd because he usually has everything flown in to the White House from Chicago.
President Obama Went Shopping…and when Tim Geithner and Ben Bernake heard about it they both dropped the F bomb.
and all I got was this lousy tax bill.
but the store said all they took was Chinese Yuan.
and moochelle caught him scarfing a cheeseburger.
President Obama went shopping …. until he figured out he liked looting better.
…for a map with all 57 states.
…for a breathalyzer for his asthmatic child.
…for a paralegal to assist the doctors in the White House medical office.
…for a corpseman to help him write a funeral speech for a departed Democratic politician.
(2nd try)
…for a corpsman to help him write a funeral speech for a departed Democratic politician.
…and was shocked, SHOCKED, by the price of arrugula!
…but it was other people who payed.
…when he realized the bullet in bullet proof vest wasn’t plural he thought he needed 99 more for each person when they went to the theater.
…for a new congress to buy off.
…
and the inflation in vote-buying shocked him.
…and he bought the farm.
…to buy a gift for his asthmetic friend. Needless to say, his friend was very confused by his new “inhalator.”
…but instead of buying anything he tried to sell them health insurance. The owner turned him around and ordered him “Forward.”
…for a “green” car, which may explain the singe marks on his eyebrows.
…but was unable to buy anything, since that establishment did not accept handwritten IOUs placing the debt on their children.
…but was thwarted by the “No certificate, no service” sign out front.
…and clumsily knocked over one of the displays, which he blamed on Bush.
…at a hardware store, where he shouted “You didn’t build that!” at all the patrons. Unfortunately, this store was hosting an anger management group for construction workers. The result was not pretty, involving both buckets and heads.
…only to discover that PetSmart is not a grocery store, and thus was understandably upset when he tried to eat their inventory.
He bought an iPod and some Nike Shoes. Had a cuppa at the Starbucks and some fries at Mickey D’s. Grabbed a few Disney DVDs for the girls and some Louboutins for Michelle. All in all a good day and some good bargains on things that were created due to government investment and roads.
for another country to tear out the heart of
but his credit card from The First National Bank of Other People’s Money was declined.
. . . and bought a new dictionary. Paralegal, paramedics, Ok, different things. . . . Oh, that’s how you pronounce corpsman. . . . “I knew ‘gullible’ was here. Hey, wait a minute!”
and accused the checker of being racist when she asked for his ID to buy cigarettes.
and was shocked to discover that he needed a prescription for his medical choom.
And demanded that the store pay him. After all, he built the roads…
And then discovered that they were still taking money. Some of that pesky capitalism was still around apparently…
and he was arrested for shoplifting while black.
on the internet to avoid the prohibitive DC sales tax.
for flame-retardant pants. (liar liar)
…and came home with a giant block of government cheese.
… for Windex, to make everything perfectly clear.
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