There! I Fixed It for You!

The now former Yahoo! News Reporter David Chalian was fired after being caught saying about the Republicans, over an open mic, “They are happy to have a party with black people drowning.”

I can rectify that statement for you, David, with a great deal of ease… and it would have been true… and nothing that would have gotten you fired!

Are you ready, David?

Next time, just leave off the word “drowning.”

From Top, Left to Right:

Condoleezza Rice: Former Secretary of State
Tim Scott: South Carolina Congressman
Mia Love: Saratoga Springs, Utah Mayor and Utah Congressional Candidate
Artur Davis: Former Alabama Congressman
Angela McGlowan: 2010 Mississippi Congressional Candidate
Star Parker: 2010 California Congressional Candidate
Herman Cain: Former Presidential Candidate (2012)
Ken Blackwell: Former Ohio Secretary of State and 2006 Ohio Gubernatorial Candidate
Michael Steele: Former RNC Chairman, Former Maryland Lt. Governor and 2006 Maryland Senate Candidate
Jennifer Carroll: Florida Lt. Governor
Randy Daniels: Former New York Secretary of State and 2006 New York Gubernatorial Candidate
Gary Franks: Former Connecticut Congressman
Allen West: Florida Congressman
J.C. Watts: Former Oklahoma Congressman
Lynn Swann: 2006 Pennsylvania Gubernatorial Candidate
Daniel Bongino: Maryland Senate Candidate
Michel Faulkner: 2010 New York Congressional Candidate
Peter Boulware: 2008 Florida State House Candidate
Ryan Frazier: 2010 Colorado Congressional Candidate
Keith Butler: 2006 Michigan Senate Candidate

And don’t think that that is all there are. There are more. They are growing in number. And they are welcome!

*This post will not be not visible on MSNBC.

Worst is yet to come

Another bad idea

Licking a flag pole in Winter is smarter than voting for Obama.

Presidents’ second terms are usually not as good as the first. Obama’s 2nd term will be teh suck.

Why would I say that? I mean, there’s no way he could suck as bad in his second term as he did in his first, right?

WRONG!!!

Let’s look at history. Okay, who’s the oldest person here?

Okay, everybody put your hands down. Is there anyone here born before 1950? 1940? Oh, heck, 1900? No one?

That’s our starting point. We’ll cover all the presidents who won re-election all our lifetimes, m’kay?

Let’s see. 1900. That was William McKinley, and he was re-elected in 1900. He got shot. That sucks.

Teddy Roosevelt finished McKinley’s term, then got elected again in 1904. That’s when he proposed income taxes (this was before the 16th Amendment, remember) and inheritance taxes, both of which passed shortly after he left office, along with the creation of the Federal Reserve. Tell me that second term didn’t suck.

Woodrow Wilson was re-elected in 1914 1916. His second term included World War I and the League of Nations, forerunner to the United Nations. He implemented segregation laws in Washington (for segregation, not against). Oh, and then the whole having a stroke thing happened. That second term sucked.

Franklin Roosevelt was re-elected in 1936, and never would leave office. He finally had to go to Warm Springs, Georgia and die to get him out of the Oval Office. He made government really, really huge. He extended the Great Depression by screwing with the economy, instead of leaving it alone and letting it right itself in 18 months like it would have. World War II started in his second term, which sucked. Of course, it took his attention off screwing with the economy and expanding government, and the economy suddenly got better, but a lot of soldiers died. So, his second and third terms sucked. He died in his fourth. Which sucked.

Harry Truman, so full of promise after nuking his way to victory in World War II, won in 1948 and, within two years, we were in another war. Plus, he fired MacArthur. Truman let Commies in the government, but you can almost excuse that, since there’s not a hill of beans difference between a Commie and a Democrat. Oh, and a couple of Puerto Ricans shot at him. That sucked.

Dwight Eisenhower was re-elected in 1956 and then had heart attacks about every third day. The Soviets orbited satellites while ours blew up on the launch pad. And, Hawaii became a state, allowing their fake birth certificates to be used to put idiots in the White House. Then, there was the whole deal with taking over from the French in a little place called Vietnam. You might have heard of that. His second term sucked.

Lyndon Johnson got to keep his office job at 1600 Pennsylvania after winning the 1964 election. Remember that Vietnam thing Eisenhower got us into? Johnson doubled down. Hippies were running wild in the streets and left-wingers were blowing up college buildings and shooting people. They waited until after he left office to land on the moon, his second term sucked so bad.

Nixon was re-elected in 1972. Watergate. I don’t need to go any further, do I? His second term sucked.

Ronald Reagan’s second term had Iran-Contra, which led to a bunch of folks going to jail. He failed to get Robert Bork on the Supreme Court, and we wound up with Anthony Kennedy instead. And, a Space Shuttle blew up. Reagan’s second term kinda sucked.

Bill Clinton was re-elected in 1996. He was impeached in his second term. That kinda sucked.

George W. Bush was re-elected in 2004. A year later, somebody in Georgia (not ours, the other one) threw a grenade at him. He didn’t tell the military to kick everyone’s ass and come home in his first term, and that lead to the Democrats taking over Congress in 2006. That sucked big time.

Now, you’re wondering why I left out Calvin Coolidge. Well, it turns out that Calvin Coolidge is the anomaly of this group. He kept the presidency by winning the 1924 election, and then cut taxes, reduced regulation, and the economy flourished. He’s the only president to do a great job in his second term.

So, what would happen if Barack Obama won a second term? Well, you can be damn sure he won’t cut taxes and reduce regulation, and that the economy won’t flourish.

You think his first term was bad? If even good presidents like Reagan, Bush, Truman, and Eisenhower can screw up their second term, what do you think a born screw-up like Barack Obama will do?

Don’t even want to think about it.

A Quote Summarizing the Ryan Pick

[High Praise! to Monster Hunter Nation]

“As soon as they announced Ryan, the media had a come apart. I heard the words “extreme” and “radical” so many times that I thought I was watching a Mountain Dew commercial. I kept waiting for Ryan to come flying onto the screen doing flips on a skateboard while being chased by a shark. No, sorry media. Tony Hawk is “extreme”. Habeneros are “extreme”. Paul Ryan is a moderate republican who stayed awake through accounting 201.”

A Moment With Joe Biden: Special

[by Son of Bob]

And now, a moment with Joe Biden.

BIDEN: and ya’ know, when I was a kid I’d often overhear some of my friends talking about this one young fella who they said was “special.” They’d talk about how the poor kid was mentally deficient, and they’d sometimes use the term “retarded,” which I always considered such an offensive term, even back then. It was one of those things I never understood. When I’d ask them who they were talking about, they’d always just say, “You’ll find out, someday.” Well, I never did find out who they were talking about, but I’ve always thought about that kid. I’ve always hoped that that poor kid got the help he so desperately needed. Can you imagine going through life not being in control of your own mind? I sure can’t. And, neither can I. Now, if Romney gets into the White House, kids like that will be left to fend for themselves, without any help… those guys don’t want to give kids like that the help they need. And, what happens to a kid like that if he doesn’t get that much-needed care? What kind of job can he hope to get? It’s sad just to imagine…

This has been a moment with Joe Biden.

Harvey Is in Charge

I’m kinda on vacation now and will be until 9/18, so blogging will be irregular. But you’ll still see me here because next week my book comes out and I’m going to be in full book promo mode. So I’ll be around, just… more sporadic posting. And most of it will be this. And really, if you’re desperate for more Frank J. writing, buying my book would be a great idea.

While Harvey is in charge do everything he says… unless he says something that conflicts with something I told you to do. Then listen to me. And if anything either of us says conflicts with your own conscience, then your conscience is stupid and you shouldn’t listen to it.

Never do anything Basil tells you.

I can’t wait until you all get to read my new book! See you around!

The Sissiness Nadir?

So a deaf three-year-old is not allowed to sign his name at school because his name is “Hunter” and the sign for it uses a gun gesture. I don’t even know how we get any sissier than this. I guess the next step is to just go ahead with banning the possessions of penises at school. I know Democrats would love a crackdown on that as people who possess those as they (along with those who own guns) have always been a problem for them politically.

I should mention that in my new book, there is a chapter on combating childhood sissiness. The book does solve all of America’s problems, and this is getting to be a big one.