Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
A new study shows that kids in the US are getting heavier. Therefore, Obama proposes…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
A new study shows that kids in the US are getting heavier. Therefore, Obama proposes…
… another golf game.
… redefining the term Weight.
… an Executive Order limiting Gravity to fifty percent for registered Dems and their offspring.
…consulting Woody Allen and switching back to deep fat, steak, cream pies and fudge.
… placing pictures of Michelle on people’s refrigerators, thereby reducing the National Appetite.
… placing pictures of Michelle in people’s bedrooms, thereby reducing the number of children produced in the first place.
… sending the fat kids to places where “studies” aren’t allowed.
… funding a new green initiative that turns baby fat into bio-fuel.
MORE COOKIES !!!
blaming Bush.
. . . using the metric system, because the figures for weight in kilograms will be smaller, which means that the children weigh less. Also the Eurinals use the metric system.
@4 Steve H: In addition…
…studies to confirm that ‘brown fat’ (baby fat) is okay in Liberal families while ‘yellow fat’ (adult fat) is caused by Conservatism.
…free Obamascales
To make them eat more until they aren’t obese.
A new study shows that kids in the US are getting heavier. Therefore, Obama proposes…
to study how many votes are in the “Fat” lobby.
Redefining the gravitational acceleration constant, g, from 32 ft/sec^2 to something less obese, say, 12 ft/sec^2. At least on Tuesdays.
A new study shows that kids in the US are getting heavier. Therefore, Obama proposes…
something, all I know is that it will take away more freedom and cost more in taxes.
A new study shows that kids in the US are getting heavier. Therefore, Obama proposes…
new laws outlawing Fatism.
…fat kids take weight-reducing drugs that also cause them to vote Democrat. Thanks Obama!
…a tax on skinny kids to subsidize the additional food needed to keep the fat kids fat and happy.
…that we “do it for the fat children.”
… blaming Republicans for the War on Health.
…to tax scales.
…changing the phrase “getting heavier” to “gaining gravitas” to protect their delicate self-esteem.
…increasing the air pressure in tricycle tires.
…that the government develop an app to reduce all “selfie” images by 25%.
… resetting diplomatic relations between fat kids and their vegetables.
…stiff penalties on heavy kids since they must be stealing weight from other kids.
…stricter Moochelle nutrition guidelines.
…a fat red line
…weighing them in their loafers, after all, he is lighter in his than most sixth graders he sees.
…no more valedictorians, many more vomitoriums.
…big butt redistribution.
…new Surgeon General Quinton Aaron also becomes Dietician In Chief.
…eating the leaner portions of dogs.
… “thinning the herd.” It just sounded ominous, the way he said it.
… yelling out “Norm!” every time a fat kid enters a room, to make them feel comfortable in being the new norm.
… classifying gallons of ice cream as shovel-ready jobs.
… warning Americans that it takes a village to raise a child, and the village should bend its knees and keep its back straight.
… a rather “Modest Proposal”.
… enlisting Aretha Franklin to help them regain their self-repwhatever.
… “smokin’ a fatty.” It *really* sounded ominous the way he said it.
… proclaiming a sumo of recovery.
…requiring wide angle lenses on all cell phones. (should it be spelled ‘cellphie’?)
…more burdensome invasive regulation (oh, wait I was supposed to come up with something funny, wasn’t I?)
…requiring all insurance to cover Liposuction and Stomach stapling procedures.
Switch to the metric system so those 200 lb. 12 year olds only weigh 91 kg.
. . . new laws that require skinny kids to get fat transplant surgery.
…raise the price of food.
… issuing a fat-wa.
… putting Warren Buffet in charge of the War on Buffets.
…. celebrating Girth Day, Girth Hour, and several national days of Thanksgiving(s).
… attening a prayer breakfast
…treating them as a new voting bloc to be pandered to and promised special treatment
Correction:
… attending a prayer breakfast, lunch, and after-school snack.
…socialism! it fixes everything.
…helium enemas.
…bigger voting booths.
…GMAC box springs.
…a hold on legalizing pot, fast tracking mandatory meth.
…10% hike in minimum miles hitch hikers receive when they have no cash or grass.
…that his “pound of flesh” retaliatory behavior become a real “excise” tax.
I can’t believe you use the phrase “straight line…” Don’t you know that homophobic?
mandating the lighter kids gain pounds
If you like your fat child, you can keep your fat child.
…a tax on gravity usage.