[High Praise! to Cheezburger.com]
Yeah, yeah, I know… the title is racist because pencil leads are black…
Archive of entries posted on 9th April 2014
I Never Thought of Light Speed Like This Before
I like this one. It made me ponder on the laws of the universe:
[Light Speed: From Minecraft to Reality] (Viewer #417,700)
To Serve and Detect
The TSA says it wants armed law enforcement at airport checkpoints.
Good idea. Never know when some maniac might try to sneak through a 4-ounce bottle of shampoo.
Even Worse, This Is True Only IF You Believe the Administration’s “Conveniently, Exactly Our Previously Predicted Goal” Numbers
Link of the Day: A Little Help From My Friends
[High Praise! to Gang Aft Agley]
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Hangin’ Democrats Stewart Homeless Towels
"Dudes, don't leave me hangin'" I gurgle, after my bros reject my high-five and throw a noose around my neck, hoisting me high into the air.
— Glenn (@justabloodygame) April 8, 2014
In order for Democrats to claim that they stand for progress, they need to pretend we're all living in 1952.
— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) April 8, 2014
It's not right to make fun of Kristen Stewart's stiff features. For all we know, she might find it very upsetting.
— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) April 8, 2014
I never give homeless people money because I know they're just going to spend it on in-app purchases.
— Brandon Gutermuth (@UNTRESOR) April 9, 2014
Why do women want equal pay? We've already given them Bounty paper towels with colorful, fun patterns
— Michael Kupperman (@MKupperman) April 9, 2014
Cheers!
Federal spending records show that in fiscal 2013, the government spent $1.3 million on alcohol – 4 times what it spent in 2005.
Ya know, I remember back when “government is spending like a drunken sailor” used to be just a cliche.
Obama Warned Us – Built
The budget I sent Congress earlier this year is built on the idea of opportunity for all.
“Much like Giants stadium is built on Jimmy Hoffa.”
Straight Line of the Day: A New Study Shows That Kids in the US Are Getting Heavier. Therefore, Obama Proposes…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
A new study shows that kids in the US are getting heavier. Therefore, Obama proposes…
Life Without Archie
Remember Archie? From the comic books?
Yeah, he’s gonna die.
Really.
They’re killing off Archie Andrews in issue 36 of “Life With Archie,” a comic book about Archie and the gang after they graduated Riverdale High.
Now, I gotta admit that I was never a fan of the comic books. Superman. Batman. Spiderman. Archie. Richie Rich. None of ’em.
I don’t know why. Sure, if I saw one on the wood slat benches at the redneck barber shop I got took to as a kid, I’d pick it up and read one. It was either read that or the Thunderbolt. I made the right decision.
But still, I never read a lot of comic books. Don’t know if I ever bought any. Might have got someone to buy some for me, but I’m not sure. Comic books weren’t that big a deal to me. And, neither were the characters in the comic books.
But, they sure were — and are — to many people. And, now they’re killing off Archie.
Is that a good thing? Should they be killing off comic book characters? Archie always kinda struck me as a non-serious comic character. Sure, they’ve tried to make social commentary over the years, particularly recently. But, should comics — non-serious comics, that is — try to be serious? It’s like one of those A Very Special Blossom shows.
And, perhaps a better question would be, who would be a better comic book character to kill off? And don’t say Caspar the Friendly Ghost. That’s cheating.
Let’s go with that question instead. What comic book character would you like to see killed off?
Random Thoughts: Programming People and Feminism
Reportedly, it took God billions of years tinkering around with programming before he finally got a creature to say, “Hello world.”
No, wait, it was just six days. Bet He did most of it on the fifth day’s night, too.
How do you tell if your baby is putting his mouth on everything out of curiosity or if he has rabies and is attacking everything?
“I would theoretically treat a woman with respect if one would ever talk to me.”
Sorry, but I need sammiches more than I need feminism.
I *Thought* I Recognized That Fragrance
Researchers now say that the human nose can distinguish at least one trillion different odors.
Even so, most test subjects still found it nearly impossible to distinguish between Obamacare and a road-kill skunk.