Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…
…insects in the hamburger.
No, never mind. They weren’t surprised.
…no real food
…more lunchroom fat ladies.
… more roughage than a typical Michelle speech.
… pages from the A.C.A.. (you have to eat it to know what’s in it)
…much political, and no real nutritional, value.
…airsick bags.
…mandatory Kool-Aid.
…unfried green tomatoes.
…strange looking Government cheese.
Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…
Anonymiss cookies. [unfortunately only when she makes them available.]
Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…
anything more than empty promises.
Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…
them consuming their own souls.
… Solyent Green.
Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…
candy, but only in a Willi Wonka kind of teaching you a life lesson fashion.
Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…
can of spam.
… all the dirt they can eat.
@15: They should be so lucky.
…sh!t on a shingle.
… half-pound burgers, onion rings, and chocolate shakes… oh, wait, that’s Michelle Obama’s own lunch menu, not the one she’s imposing on kids. Sorry about that.
Stinkburgers, Meanwiches, and pre-checked (D) voter registration forms.
@18: Literally, not figuratively.
Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…
Potato and Eggplant Salad
White House Arugula
With Onion Seed Vinaigrette
2008 Sauvignon Blanc, Modus Operandi, Napa Valley, California
≈
Red Lentil Soup with Fresh Cheese
2006 Riesling, Brooks “Ara”, Wilamette Valley, Oregon
≈
Roasted Potato Dumplings
With Tomato Chutney
Chick Peas and Okra
or
Green Curry Prawns
Caramelized Salsify
With Smoked Collard Greens
and
Coconut Aged Basmati
2007 Granache, Beckmen Vineyards, Santa Ynez, California
≈
Pumpkin Pie Tart
Pear Tatin Whipped Cream and Caramel Sauce
Sparkling Chardonnay, Thibaut Janisson Brut, Monticello, Virginia
≈
Petits Fours and Coffee
Cashew Brittle
Pecan Pralines
Passion Fruit and Vanilla Gelees
Chocolate
–
Dipped Fruit
…a handy calorie counter printed on a napkin for the little fatty ones.
… a lecture.
… a steady diet of communist propaganda.
… a hoe, a packet of seeds, and a watering can.
Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…
Not one thing they wanted to eat.
…food that would gag a maggot.
Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…
A census taker’s liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
…guaranteed weight loss, due to the unappetizing nature of the offered “foods”.
Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…
little cards saying, “Eat my shorts.”
Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…
Leftovers.
…bitter dandelion salad greens.
If you like your lunch, you can digest your lunch.
@18 – Hey, shingles they be good carbs !!!
…improperly cooked nettle soup served with a side order of Benadryl.
…really bad green bacon.
@34 Steve H: We used to have really good “sh!t on a shingle” in the submarine navy. Also, my Mom used to make it. Loved it.
. . . a Norwegian blue parrot, pining for the fjords.
. . . an old family recipe – the recipe itself, not the result of following it
…a card on their tray that reads, “Do not waste food” along with trash can cops (teachers). A third grader was hear to say, “But it isn’t food.”
@ 20. Kyle Kiernan …that’s a good one!
A Harold and Kumar style C***meat sandwich.
Beef jerky. Don’t mess with Sasquatch.
Cake. Let them eat cake.
…words of encouragement from POTUS: http://youtu.be/2qHVSZM7CX0
… creme canine quiche served on pieces cut from the original Constitution.
… A bill for the FLOTUS’s time and effort. You’re welcome.
Nutrisystem, a Bammy phone, and an EBT card.
…questionnaires on each tray about mommy’s and daddy’s behavior and gun ownership.
Students were surprised to discover that Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…
…not much and zero choices
…Lunch Gestapo that confiscated any outside lunches.
…lunch waivers for children of union members and democrat congressmen
@10 – Nooooooooo! The humanity- all those starving children!
… Vanilla Waivers.
… bugged juice.
… a Pop Tart bitten into the shape of something that got to close to Michelle.
… a copy of her degree in nutrition.
… a CAIR package.
… no Koch. Pepsi.
Michelle Obama’s “healthy” lunch menu included…”No soup for them!”
… a selfie of Michelle at their houses — leaving crumbs too small for their mouses.
… a Share-Your-Fortune cookie, pre-split into crumbs to pass around.
… a subpoena, butter, and jelly sandwich (for those kids who haven’t joined OFA yet).
… Upper Deck trading cards of Generation Y slackers whose doctor visits they’re going to be paying for all their lives.
… Arbeit Macht(tm) fries.
… Pablum.
…a large cucumber, a condom and an instruction sheet – for kindergardeners and first graders.
…Kochroaches in the chili. (I blame Oppo.)
… Che’s doodles.
@ Jimmy: SADLY, your cucumber one is too true.
(and of course your blame)
…green Jello with sliced carrots and raisins, with an odd whiff of ethylene glycol. (Your stomach is turning, Oppo.)
…service by Nurse Ratched.
…a thin slice of reality, buttered with blame and tasting of pablum.
…hard tack and toe jam sammiches.
…politburo potluck, seasoned with potash and salt-free saltpeter.
…a waiver.
…a waiver of liability (for the school).
…plop tarts, at least until the teachers get arrested.
…high fiber fiber optics so Michelle can keep tabs on away from school diets.
… no actual food, just an I.O.U. for a lunch when they retire . . . part of the food pyramid scheme.
…fresh, live gagh.
…Barack’s favorite hot dog recipe. -You know, actual dog.
… legalized pot and illegalized calling the kettle black.
… a kid’s meal.
(It is not yet known which middle-class kid’s…)
… and now for the bad news: you know how corn meal is made out of corn, and oatmeal is made out of oats? . . . .
… ObamaCarrots (a.k.a. Affordable Care Ots).
…Mao Fried Chicken
… a valuable life lesson: “Life is like a $#!t sandwich; the more bread you have, the less $#!t you have to eat!”
a voter registration card, with “democrat” already filled in
Students Were Surprised to Discover that Michelle Obama’s “Healthy” Lunch Menu Included…
– Delicious irony
– Soy Chicken and bitter clinger dumplings
– Sweet nourishing gruel
– Savory chunks of meat that your dog will love!
– Ritalin Rice and Prozac Pizza, followed by a wee serving of Ambien Apple Pie
– Michelle’s Mystery Meatloaf (contains no meat)
– Barry-O’s Solyndra Suprise (There’s nothing in it – surprise!)
– Holder’s Half-moonbat Cookies
– Valerie’s Vanilla Cake with Valium Frosting
Complicated
Moochs meals are complicated.