Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The latest weapon to be added to the US military’s arsenal…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The latest weapon to be added to the US military’s arsenal…
… Bunkerbuster Hashtags.
… fear, surprise, an almost fanatical devotion to “The Won”, and spiffy camp uniforms.
Oh, damn. I’ll come in again.
… rifles with 10-round or less magazines.
… a FABulous new gaydar.
… will be the one proposed by the most-well-connected contractor.
…industrial strength apology generators.
… pre-written strongly-worded letters for rapid deployment.
The latest weapon to be added to the US military’s arsenal…
military quality email destroyers.
The latest weapon to be added to the US military’s arsenal…
gun shaped pop tarts.
…cyanide tablets built into all military dogtags. Our Veterans will no longer have to rely on the VA to kill them.
The latest weapon to be added to the US military’s arsenal…
will never be used.
@11: Nonsense. They’ll be used against US citizens.
… automatically records biometric information about anyone who uses it, for later prosecution.
…a group known as Seal Team Eleven to track down Edward Snowden to charge him with stealing Lois Lerner’s data.
…a diplomatic chain gun. The thing shoots Kerry diplomacy fluff over everyone, causing intense laughter.
#
@12
There will be no revolution. There will be no uprisings. You got 50 years of liberal education to disarm mentally a majority of the people and the minority of the people who are smart enough to realize that while they got the guns they ain’t got overall wherewithal to win.
… for enforcing the Obama “Doctrine” (?): hollow, pointless bullets.
… a Hillary rail gun: rails against the notion that any of it makes a difference.
…I’m not sure, but the sales guy insisted it was “totally webscale”
…”gun free zone” signs
…white flags
… is being field-tested by ISIL.
… bows and errors.
… replacing Special Ops teams with Special Photo Ops teams; and Black Ops teams with Black Reparations Ops teams.
… chimerical warfare.
…Obamaphones for all military personel for more better hashtag effect and likes
…computers capable of deleting all copies of a file, including those on tape at Iron Mountain without any admin access.
@23 and better proofreading before clicking “submit”
… is an ingenious way of reusing Michelle’s failed school lunch items.
…automatic cash cannons capable of blanketing large areas with loads of tax money in seconds.
…Humvees with controls labeled in Arabic
…weapons vending machines throughout the Middle East that work with every type of credit card.
High-caliber tactical stealth assault frowny faces.
🙁
🙁
🙁
🙁
Don’t make me use more.
@29 FredKay: And just in case the enemy has those, smart, a rapid-fire, anti-personnel evil face:
👿
👿
👿
👿
👿
You’re dead!
…the Obama Jawbone, guaranteed to confound the weak and reduce the strong to paroxysms of spasmodic laughter…
Of course, the complete, secret arsenal of weaponized faces includes:
🙂
😀
😉
😎
😛
😮
😡
🙁
😕
😐
😆
😳
😥
😮
👿
😈
🙄
…all of which can do considerable damage to an unsuspecting enemy.
Only “yellow” faces? Isn’t that insulting to a certain segment of our population?
You guys have me beat! Here in NY we’re only allowed a 4-face clip.
@33 Walrus: Yes. Cowards.
The latest weapon to be added to the US military’s arsenal isn’t exactly a weapon, they’re turning the country into a 3rd world hellhole that nobody would want to invade.
If it’s good enough for Guatemala, it’s good enough for us!
… laser-guided dismissals.
… a non-offensively-named helicopter.
The latest weapon to be added to the US military’s arsenal…
…is sanctions that will be unenforced as usual.
…robots made in China
… M. Night -Vision goggles, to view unexpected twists no one else sees coming.
… infrared lines.
… the Obama mortar — a smooth bore.
… boomerang ammunition that returns to the firer.
(we still have to convince our enemies to use it, but perfect “as-is” for Homeland Security)
…is the Perpetual Emotion Machine, designed to feel the pain of our enemies without inflicting any…
The latest weapon to be added to the US military’s arsenal… copies of Hard Choices.
What? Dropped from thirty thousand feet they can really do some damage!
The latest weapon to be added to the US military’s arsenal…
the new and improved, Kevin Bacon tested, “thank you sir, may I have another?” machine.
…would have been awesome if not for the fact the only copy of the plans were stored on Lois Lerner’s hard drive.
A floride treatment gun to go with the x-ray gun. DARPA is still working on the
anti-gingivitus gun.
… Obama’s awesome skeet-shooting ability. Jay Carney assured us he goes shooting all the time.
… the Third Armoire Division.
(See, Obama isn’t terrifyingly manly..)
. . . is a fragmentation grenade releasing pictures of Hillary Clinton, Helen Thomas, and Debbie Wasserman-Schulz in bikinis.
The BB gun…you can’t kill an enemy with it, but you can put his eye out.
@40: ” M. Night -Vision goggles, to view unexpected twists no one else sees coming.”
Only works well once, future attempts are erratic at best.
1. IRS bullsh!t excuse generator
2. IRS bullsh!t excuse deflector
Bean bag firing shotguns. Like those issued to our border patrol personnel.
…Up-Armored Bus Undercarraiges.