Hey, everyone: Try not to be racist and try not to riot.
What I’m hearing is that a lot of black people are feeling powerless because of Ferguson… except for one who is bypassing Congress with executive actions.
Regardless of the merits of one case, the fact that a large segment of the population find cops a cause of distress must be addressed.
Never be blasé about people who feel oppressed by government power. That’s something to be consistent about.
Trying Objective-C for the first time. “NO” and “YES” instead of “true” and “false” for boolean? Was this made for babies?
So far President Obama’s only plan for Ferguson is to flood the town with illegal immigrants.
If black people like how things are and don’t want anything to change, they should keep voting for Democrats.
US: “We need jobs!”
Obama: “Here’s my new healthcare plan I’m shoving down your throats!”
*4 years pass
Schumer: “Hey, wait a second…”
For people victimizing random businesses in response to a shooting, is it okay to doubt their sincerity in wanting “justice”?
You sure you want “justice”, guy looting liquor store? I don’t think that will work out well for you.
The dad’s burden is that by the time he sits down to eat the pancake breakfast, it’s cold.
“We should make a solar-powered calculator.”
“That’s a great idea! What else would be useful to be solar-powered?”
*thinks a bit
“That’s it”
I never understood putting raisins in cookies. Have you never heard of chocolate chips or are you just some sort of misanthrope?
“What a perfect, creamy chocolate batter for my brownies.”
*the devil appears on her shoulder
“ADD WALNUTS!”
So are you actually allergic to meat or do you just not eat it because that’s trendy?
“We’re out of new lightsaber ideas. What do you got?”
“Tiny lightsaber blades stick out the side.”
“For what purpose?”
“It needs a purpose?”
How do I explain silent letters to my 4yo?
“Our language was made by madmen and psychopaths.”
Best I can figure about silent letters is there are union rules where you have to hire certain letters whether you need them or not.
The air doesn’t seem to like Texas as it’s always in a big rush to get out of here.
You know how when there are 3 urinals, one is hung lower than the others? Why not just hang them all low?
Have you ever been like, “I’m glad I got a higher urinal! Those are so much more convenient for my height!”?
Weird how like every gas pump instructs you to lift the handle even though it’s been years since I’ve seen a pump where the handle lifts.
Barack Obama doesn’t care about black people on a whole other level than white presidents.
I’m so used to sitcoms without laugh tracks that ones with it seem desperate now. “See? My friends think I’m funny.”
My daughter thinks the queso from Trochy’s Tacos is called “tor-cheese.”
Not to sound negative about Obamacare, but I don’t get the advantage of having more of my healthcare decisions made by sociopathic idiots.
Sorry. I just had to pick a new healthcare plan, and it’s hard to do that and not want to strangle people.
“Have you ever been like, ‘I’m glad I got a higher urinal! Those are so much more convenient for my height!’?”
Yeah, and then when you pee outside, are you like, “Gee, I hope I don’t miss the ground”?
…the fact that
a large segment of the populationcriminals find cops a cause of distressmust be addressedis the way it’s supposed to work.The problem is that criminals are such a large segment of the population and they keep importing more. What’s the goal here?
“Sorry. I just had to pick a new healthcare plan, and it’s hard to do that and not want to strangle people”.
Donald Rumsfeld said he’s got a pair of strangling gloves you can borrow…
In some older buildings, the urinals go all the way to the floor, and then there’s Kenan stadium at UNC-Chapel Hill; the urinals were (in the ’70s) marble walls (or wainscoting) with water running down–simplicity itself.
How do I explain silent letters to my 4yo?
“Our language was made by madmen and psychopaths.”
Best I can figure about silent letters is there are union rules where you have to hire certain letters whether you need them or not.
“English doesn’t just borrow from other languages; it follows them into alleys and mugs them.”
A Korean professor I had (can’t remember if it was Calculus or Surface Chemistry) said that Korean was like English because both languages have been influenced by a history of invasions.
“What else would be useful to be solar-powered?”
A sundial
“I’m so used to sitcoms without laugh tracks that ones with it seem desperate now. “See? My friends think I’m funny.”
At IMAO, you could have Basil replace the “Like Stars” with “Laugh Faces” that make laughing sounds when you click ’em, like this:
😈 👿 🙁 😐 🙂 😀 😆
-1 0 1 2 3 4 5
-1 would be a special score: Evil/wrong – but funny.
“The air doesn’t seem to like Texas as it’s always in a big rush to get out of here.”
That’s just Austin.
Do not try to infringe on my rights to protest and demonstrate. If some glass gets broken and I end up with a flatscreen, that is just minor collateral damage and easily worth the preservation of my freedom. If the village gets burned to the ground, it can be rebuilt into a Utopia using Watts as a blueprint.
Apparently, you’re not the only one experiencing the dilemma of a cold pancake breakfast:
The whole silent vowel thing was a conspiracy by Noah Webster to sell more of his books. Try this, “When two vowels go walking the first one does all the talking.” Makes more sense if you say it with a Texas drawl. The Silent E thing is best understood by watching the Adventures of Letterman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fy7jgSvGICg
@11 – EdthePastor – Don’t be silly. Everyone knows Tom Lehrer is the man to see about Silent E:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91BQqdNOUxs
I can’t stand to watch a show with laugh tracks. I figure if they have to tell you it was a joke, it must not be very funny.
Torchy’s is awesome. When people ask me to describe it I always say “imagine if Mexican food wasn’t invented in a 3rd world country. That’s Torchy’s”.
MUST – – – RESIST – – URGE – – TO – – RIOT…
How about a solar powered nightlight?
It is windy in Texas because Oklahoma sucks (old Air Force joke)
(another old USAF joke: Join the Navy and see the world, join the Air Force and see Texas)
Wanna irritate someone? Get an MP3 of a laughtrack and play it at strategic intervals while someone else is watching a deadly serious movie. (or on the phone.)
Even better: Edit out the laughtracks from an episode of TBBT, or even Friends. Super creepy.
@15 Steve H – Here’s a clip from The Big Bang Theory, sans laugh track:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKS3MGriZcs
Yeah… it’s creepy…
How do I explain silent letters to my 4yo?
“Our language was made by madmen and psychopaths.”
I still have fond memories of teaching my then-five-year-old brother that the words “phonograph”, “psychology”, “pneumonia”, and “pterodactyl” all started with the letter “p” (I was seventeen at the time). I was really proud of him when one of his teachers asked the class for words that started with the letter “p”, and he responded with all four of those.
“The air doesn’t seem to like Texas as it’s always in a big rush to get out of here.”
Way WAY back in college in Illinois (long story in itself, but I’m skipping it for now) I had a friend who was extremely proud to be from Chicago. The first time he referred to his hometown as “The Windy City” I just had to point out that on average Dallas was an even windier city.
“That may be true”, he said, “but you feel it more in Chicago because it gets so cold! The wind-chill factors get simply insane!”
“Then let’s just call it ‘The Cold City’ and be done with it, OK?”
-Proof Anonymiss is another one of the voices in Frank’s head
-For anyone not convinced by the first quote
@19 Bob in Feenicks – “-Proof Anonymiss is another one of the voices in Frank’s head”
I am???
So…REALLY, I’m not 5’2″, I don’t have long hair with unruly curls…
Instead, I have truly expressive caterpillar like eyebrows?
Hmmm.
I was kinda hoping I was *all* me, and he just had impeccable taste. 😛
By the way, Frank, when this is all over, I’m making cookies for everybody!!!
Minus walnuts.
🙂
…I got a speeding ticket from a black cop last week and I’m white…if I don’t get it dismissed I can go loot a store of my choosing, right?
20:
Well, I’ve never seen you and Frank in the same room together.
But don’t worry, you’re not alone: you have Harvey and Basil to keep you company in there. You might also want to look for Spacemonkey and Right Wing Duck while you’re in Frank’s head. -And there was also a Jew back in the day.
You can Blarg as long as you wear your official Guy Faux looters mask. Also a Che Guevara t shirt is recommended but not mandatory.
Being one who has never needed a urinal I am truly curious about something. If they are very low to the ground don’t you have a problem with backsplash?
“Trying Objective-C for the first time. “NO” and “YES” instead of “true” and “false” for boolean? Was this made for babies?”
No. As Objective-C is from Apple, it was made for hipsters.
http://www.infoworld.com/article/2850461/application-development/attack-of-the-one-letter-programming-languages.html
Warning!
The link above was viewed with “NoScript” and “Adblock Edge” engaged. Those are part of my revenge on the Internet for wasting the bandwidth of my old dialup connection with unwanted flashy, blinky crap back in the day.
I know you were looking for a serious answer, but I wouldn’t touch this with a {self-edit}.