37 Comments

  1. After Trump’s speech to Congress, liberals…

    were saddened that outraged mobs didn’t burn down Congress. Oddly so were Conservatives but for different reasons.

    tried to find proof he was sitting on a White House couch with no shoes.

    to never accept the will of the American people.

  2. … logged on and waited patiently for someone to tell them what to think about it.

    … got out their magic markers and “Down With ______” signs and waited patiently for someone to tell them what to fill in the blank with and where to meet.

    … got out their yarn and waited patiently for someone to tell them what to knit.

  3. …searched for new words to replace racist, homophobic, misogynist, extremist and Republican since they’re obviously not working with the American people. But all they could come up with is, “I HATE YOU!”

  4. … resembled the monkeys in front of the obelisk in 2001: A Space Odyssey — they didn’t understand it, had no idea what to do about it, couldn’t find any chink in it, and nevertheless wouldn’t shut up.

  5. After Trump’s Speech to Congress, Liberals…

    …rediscovered a deep and abiding sense of patriotism, a feeling of unity with working Americans, a sense of duty and responsibility to join with Mr. Trump in creating a better America, and a profound sense that, with all her flaws, this is a country deserving of our respect, our labor, and our love. After 12 seconds they snapped out of it.

  6. . . . took their fingers out of their ears and discovered, to their great surprise, that they had been chanting “MOONLIGHT MOONLIGHT MOONLIGHT” instead of “LA LA LA LA LA” as they had believed.

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