Straight Line of the Day: Among the Features of Bernie Sanders’ “Medicare for All” Program…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Among the features of Bernie Sanders’ “Medicare for All” program…

53 Comments

  1. …if you like your doctor he won’t punch you in your infidel face.

    …mental health services provided by The Psychic Hotline.

    …handy waiting room “You must be this tall not to be aborted” charts in all medical facilities.

    …when you have your health you have everything will now be literally true.

    …white guys can’t jump through our hoops fitness test.

  2. Among the features of Bernie Sanders’ “Medicare for All” program…

    …actual care for few.

    …the “Replacing your coffee with Folgers Crystals” clause.

    …is the mandatory weight loss plan where no one can afford food providing you can find it first.

  3. You get an American Idol style audition in front of the Death Panel.
    “Yeah, sorry dog, that’s a ‘no’ from me on the kidney transplant. Good luck with the dialysis though.”

  4. …dispensaries replaced by shyster on a horse drawn wagon selling cure-all elixir.

    …an emphasis on holistic medicine, or, as you call it, medical marijuana.

    …the motto: We’re all socialists and Jehovah’s Witnesses now.

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