Earlier this week, IMAO commenter walruskkkch asked about getting a job at IMAO. Harvey mentioned there were openings. To further clarify, these are the top ten positions open at IMAO.
10. Elevator operator.
9. Telephone operator.
8. Telephone sanitizer.
6. Proof-reader to catch errors and omissions.
5. Someone to figure out what Basil does.
4. Someone else to do what Basil does.
3. ????
2. Profit!!!!
1. Writer for Top Ten lists.
Fax your resume to the number on the back of the Web page.
3: Chairman of the UFO welcoming committee.
I thought it was the number of the counting.
What about the UFO unwelcoming committee?
I can handle #10 as long as it’s ground floor only.
I don’t see an opening for making Folgers Crystals. ?
Basil is as Basil does my Momma always used to say.
I got dibs on the company lounge bartending job #3!! My nickname in college was Sam Malone aka ‘Mayday’. In fact, you can call me Mayday if you wish, just never call me late for dinner.
You know you can’t actually be ALL the characters from Cheers.
Prufreeder! I kin do that. What’s the salary? Or is it on commission?
You’ll work for peanuts. Though if you prefer, you can get brazil nuts.
Just remember to not take a wage.
Better omissions than emissions. See what I did there? That’s funny. You need someone funny. That’s me. Funny. And smart. I can handle things. I’m smart! Not like everybody says, like dumb. I’m smart and I want respect!
When there’s an opening for tuna inspector, I’m your cat.
I can dig it.
I already have a job…I’m a retired slacker and I’m damn good at it. However I might consider a supervisory position if it didn’t require me to remove my feet from the top of my desk.
Does that make going to the bathroom harder or easier?
I expect to be so far up the executive food chain that I’ll have my minions to go to the bathroom for me. Thus I expect no problem one way or the other.
One generally goes one way or the other.