I think the one complaint scientists get the most is that the anti-matter they make just isn’t cold enough. Well guess what? They’ve made it colder! 9.26 Kelvin. That’s just 17 degrees Fahrenheit above absolute zero. That should be plenty cold for anything you need it for!
Wait, what did you say you needed it for?
Oh yeah, I guess for that, you’d need it even colder. Still, I think this will be plenty cold for a lot of people.
Ever since scientists first discovered anti-matter, they were like, “But how do we make this cold?” They tried to put it on ice, but it would just explode since the ice was made out of normal matter. Similarly, blowing on it didn’t work. So then they made a magnetic trap. That worked awesomely. So now they have cold anti-matter and that is pretty… well… cool.
So what do you with cold anti-matter? Well, you get a news story written up about it for one thing. And then you work to make it even colder. Because Science! marches on. And there is no such thing as anti-matter being “too cold.”
Science!
I’m sorry, boys, this really won’t impress many women.
Or me.
Cold anti-matter, eh? I can think of a few good uses:
* a small one milligram piece of cold anti-matter will keep a case of beer, a dozen Klondike bars and another case of beer cold for 4 quarters of a football game.
* Mmmm, I can’t seem to think about anything else… football (the manly American kind), beer and Klondike bars…)
They should inject some into Hillary. When it hits her heart it will be as cold as the day is long. It will probably freeze the snot out of the anti matter and ruin the whole show.
I am wanting to make an anti-matter a joke about Joe Biden and tanning beds but I can not get it to flow right.
9.26 Kelvin? Come to Minnesota in January! We got your 9.26 Kelvin right here buddy!
i’m just waiting for them to rip space/time a new one and spill all sorts of fun stuff into our dimension. Maybe something from a dimension where dinosaurs rule, they have lazers and rocket launchers, and have been just waiting for the opportuinity to unleash on some hippies.
-Will this anti-s’matter raygun thing help my diet coke stay cold longer when I am watching Americas Next Top Model? If not then leave me alone.
-Scientists will need to bring their anti-matter to Mike Ditka who lives in his restaurant “Ditka Dogs” high atop a Tibetan mountain staffed by monks of an ancient order. Once he has the anti-matter Mike Distka will give it a motivational speech that should solve the problem of it not being pushing itself to get cold or hot enough.
-Why aren’t their more Mike Ditka Jokes around here?
What happens to big oil spills when you drop a hunk of real cold anti-matter on them? Just curious.
You know how liberals always say “it will be a cold day in hell before we . . . ” I say that we all help the scientists work on this and send the anti-matter to hell.
You joke, but when one of these scientists figures out ten years from now how to make a refreshing new flavor of beer out of it, he’s going to be laughing all the way to the Caribbean.
The colder anti-matter is mainly needed to keep competitive in the the American market. It’s not nearly as big a deal in other places. For example: Folks in the UK tend to be much more content with purchasing and consuming their anti-matter at a slightly warmer (“cellar”) temperature than the average American consumer.
I’m anti-anti-matter – matter rules!
So, did anyone stop to ask Lord Kelvin if he thought 9.26 K was cold? Huh? I didn’t think so.
9.26 K is still warmer than my ex-wife’s heart, however.
And I ain’t goin’ to no Minnesota in January just to experience 9.26 Kelvins, dude.
EnemyoftheState’s #8
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Ussjimmycarter’s #3
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freeze the oil spill by dropping shrillary’s cold cold heart on it.
(and send the antimatter to obliterate kim jong il.)
I would say the road to Hell is paved with cold anti-matter but as we all know it’s paved with the thousands of pages of legislation coming out of this sad excuse for a political administration. Don’t believe me, Obama has just appointed (without Congressional vetting mind you) Lucifer to the Medicare/ Medicade top seat.
This ladies and gentlemen is the man who is going to decide who lives and who dies but he’ll do it with his eyes open. For those of us in the latter years of our lives that is indeed the most unkindest cut of all.
I still haven’t bought into this antimatter business because I don’t believe in much that was invented in the original Star Trek. When I have a machine that gives me a perfectly cooked meal when I put a card thingie in it, then I might consider the idea of antimatter.
This is how it works in Science! They start that thing up at CERN, and then one of the Scientists! says, “There, I saw it.” And another one says, “And the thermometer says 9.26 degrees.” The first one says, “Wanna get a Coke,” but the second one answers, “No thanks, I’ve got a meeting with the Obama Oil Spill Committee.”
And then they tell the press how smart they are.
According to the Climate Science! guys, they should be applying heat if they want it to get colder. I thought everybody knew that?
If you had some sub 9.26 Kelvin anti-matter delivered in clam shell packaging, would it really matter?
#18 correct answer: “It would matter to the antimatter!”
Dude, I’m not an engineer like you, but wouldn’t 9.26 Kelvin be 9.26 degrees above absolute zero? High school chem was a long time ago, but I think that’s right.
I tend to be pro matter myself but as long they don’t start calling it black matter, nobody will even notice.
I’m still waiting to see a clear clam.
We are still soooo far from all the cool stuff they had in Star Trek:
but we’re waaaay too close to that money-less economy they seemed so smug about.
JeremyB:
Kelvin and Celcius units are the same size, not Fahrenheit. 1K = 1.8 degrees F, so 9.26 K * 1.8 degrees F / 1 K = ~16.7 degrees F in magnitude. Something like -440 degrees F?
Last January it hit like 5 degrees Kelvin here in Minnesota! I went out for a smoke and my balls froze off and rolled down my pant leggs! I guess I’m now a democrat…
@ussjimmycarter: No, you can not be a democrat because you started out with balls even though they froze off. The dems were not born with any.
So they are trying to find out why the universe is made out of matter and not antimatter? An antimatter universe would be neat, you could make cool looking nuclear explosions just by touching things!
Wait, that would hurt, maybe that’s not a good thing. Darnit.
Science! achieved super-cold anti-matter by releasing it’s second chakra. This comes from the mannbearpig dept. of Science!
If it’s really anti-matter then would it not have a temperature range below 0 degrees Kelvin?